thank you mimi for being so brave. here are 2 experiences from NB and PEI.
my experience in the smash community as a whole has been mostly a positive experience. unfortunatly KOH was pretty awful for me both years due to being followed around by people i didnt know and being groomed with liquor and weed by people who were significantly older than me. love you guys at my tuesday weeklies. i mean it when i say you guys make me feel human.
my experiences highlight Fyore from Smash PEI and Jay2k from Smash NB.
1) Fyore - KOH 3
The first time I ever met Brett, it was at TomorrowLan 2018 if I recall correctly. I remember him talking about how hot I was, he told me my body looked great. He also emphasized on how attractive he was multiple times. The whole thing was weird but I've always been a huge pushover so I kinda just let it slide.
The second time I ever met Brett was at KOH 3. It was my very first big tournament, and I was around 18 at the time, Brett being 24. We were looking for someone to get us a few beers, and Brett seen me and was MORE than happy to buy us liquor, and even invited himself to our hotel room to hangout. Marcus and I were sort of iffy about it but he was just another Smasher and it was gonna be fun.
We started having a few drinks and playing Smash. I ended up getting nauseous and tired so I went to the other bed by myself to lay down. It wasn't too long after Brett laid next to me and he wrapped his arm around me but underneath the pillow I was laying on so I didn't even really notice right away. At times he even gently rubbed his fingertips on my legs. I was pretty tipsy, and also had never been in a situation like this in my life. Because of prior online extortion experiences I had, with gaslighting that followed, it made it hard to feel like I was ever right in situations like that. And that if I said something I would be a "crazy chick". The night then escalated quite a bit when he started showing me his anime hentai on his phone, showing me all the lingerie "I'd look good in". He even asked me If I wanted to ditch my BF the next day to go buy lingerie and that he'd buy it and help me. Thank god for Marcus (who at the time was my friend and my bf was also at KOH that year) who noticed and asked if I wanted to join him for a smoke. It didn't end there though because right when we sneaked out and finally made it to the elevator, the door was almost shut and like a horror movie Bretts hand stopped the sensor, came in, and said we forgot him. He continued to direct the conversation towards my appearance for the rest of the weekend. I'm so grateful for Marcus and that I wasn't more drunk that night.
Jakob and I were really good friends for a decent period of time. Marco, him and I would always go to his house for some Smash and some weed. I was really new to smoking at the time so even the smallest puff would get me super high. As time went on I started realizing he always wanted me to come over alone. He would ask me to hangout that night, I'd say yeah maybe, and then later I'd ask "Hey! Can Marcus and I come for some smash?" and he would say he has other plans. I went over about 2 times by myself. One time, I noticed he like grabbed my hand for a sec and looked in my eyes and smiled. When I stuttered to ask he pulled away right away and kept going downstairs. The entire night that night he was sitting closer and closer to me, and even when I'd move away he'd get closer. I pushed it off as him being a touchy person and blamed it on myself and went home.
The next time I went over, Marco came with. I ended up greening out so I asked if I could lay down in his bed for a bit to rest. He was kinda pissed about it (like sorry its my bad??? when a friend is feeling sick help them lol). After laying down I only remember waking up a bit later and he was laying right behind me pretty much spooning me. It was a double or queen bed and I'm only 4"11 so I KNOW he had room to move over or simply just go away!!! Sleep on the couch or at least face the opposite way. I just got up to use the restroom after and went home.
There was even a tournament where 4 of us stayed at a hotel and he made SURE to rush and get the bed with me in it and make sure to sleep right up against me. I was hanging off the bed pretty much and luckily Marcus saved me again lol
The WORST thing about all of this isn't the fact that I was uncomfortable. I'm not a touchy person at all and I was creeped out, but I wanted to continue being his friend. I really tried to have a nice conversation with him and lay it on the table nicely, but instead, he pretty much invalidated me and made me out to be crazy for feeling uncomfortable. I would have to watch him and the other top players giggle and laugh and they probably all though I was crazy. I had to fucking watch all my friends frame a picture of this guy and gather around it like he's fucking icon. Probably one of the lowest moments in Smash NB for me.
With both of these situations, my friends, aside from Marcus, were kinda absent in noticing these things, and even sided with Jakob for the time being because " Jakob would never do anything like that". I held my peace. I didn't even send the screenshots to anyone else besides Marcus. I could have proved my point right away but I truly thought I was being a drama queen. IM ALLOWED TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE BY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. you dont get to chose that okay Jay2k??? i never got to say that. fuck you for fucking my brain up.
To all the Smash guys, even if you haven't advanced on somebody in the scene inappropriately, we should all be looking out for each other too. Listen to victims. Give them a chance. If you ever see that a friend is doing this to someone, no matter how hard it may be, please step up.