The Real Apology
I understand why many feel that my first response was insincere or inadequate. I am here to provide a better one.
I did not want to speak on the perspective of the victims or for the victims. I did not feel it was appropriate to go discuss or provide an explanation that would reveal sensitive details unless I had explicit permission.
Since my apology, Harli, who came forward, has posted her own Twitlonger. Please read what she has to say. She provides detail as to what happened and how it has affected her:
I know many of you are expecting a detailed apology and I am sorry I can not exactly provide a level of detail that you all desire.
My poor behavior and actions stemmed from how I communicated with people and errors in the way I communicated. From being blatantly disrespectful, to blatantly profane, to harassing and not respecting others’ boundaries. I would like to say that I am genuinely sorry. There is a very arrogant and sinister aspect of me that had little regard for those around me. Through the community, through my year ban and through those who were brave enough to teach me that I was wrong, I have been learning to change and actively pursuing change. Despite those peoples’ pain, they confronted me and gave me an opportunity to be a better human being. I am eternally grateful for these beautiful human beings and I deeply regret what I have said to them. Since then, I have been working to become a better person and make amends with the victims. In Harli’s Twitlonger you will see that she mentions my growth as a person and that I have made amends with her.
I additionally acknowledge that my actions offended, hurt and made many feel unsafe- I am sorry. Many of you had to see a very ugly side of me that I regret existed. I will not shy away from my actions and I will not defend them. I have apologized to victims personally, I have actively aimed to be a better person and have actively been seeing a therapist. I am ashamed and I have been for a long time.
One of the most painful experiences is seeing those of you who looked up to me share your responses. Many of the people I love and have wanted to look after feel betrayed. I cannot take back what I did or what you’ve seen. However, I do genuinely love and care for you. If you looked up to me, it was likely because I looked up to you. Some of the most fulfilling things I have ever experienced in my life are rooted in this scene. Those fulfilling moments were fueled by fulfilling people. I believe heavily in what many individuals in this scene are capable of and want all of you to thrive.
My actions have transgressed everyone in the Smash Brothers Community.
Though my words may mean nothing to you now - I am truly sorry
Jacob “Zebra” Milam