ʰᵃᶻᵉˡ · @pupperbae
6th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
My perspective on Venia and Froot
I want to make it known that I’m writing this on my own terms. Froot, Venia, etc. have not influenced my decision to write this, nor have I discussed my viewpoint with either of them. Understand that these words come solely from me.
This movement is supposed to empower those who feel they are alone with their trauma, to help them see that they are not alone in abuse. Everything that has come to light shows there needs to be a serious change in the community. I don’t endorse sexual misconduct in any capacity. My friends, family, and community know I want nothing but a safe space in our relations.
I needed time before I could fully acknowledge the serious allegations about Jon (Venia). This whole situation is a mess, and it breaks my heart to watch it unfold. I am confused as to why Froot used my name in her TL. Why couldn’t my name be omitted? Why was I involved without the thought of my own wellbeing? Am I being used as leverage? I felt vulnerable, especially when I am heartbroken over the situation. Having my personal business aired out by someone I barely know feels awful. It’s ridiculous for me to be writing a TL in the first place because, at the end of the day, I am not involved. I shouldn’t have been made to be involved and I don’t feel comfortable taking a stance because I wasn’t involved.
I joined the smash scene in January 2020 and my first tournament was at LMBM. On day 3, I met Blackapinaa, MGW, and Jon. Jon and I have been close ever since. We would meet up at smash locals and whenever I was in the city for work, we would hang out. I first met Froot at a Xeno monthly and then at Fusion. I was introduced to some of her friends in the community, but never really spoke with her. Yes, Jon had told me he experienced some issues with this group before, but I never really understood why and disregarded it. I’m not too sure what my role is in this whole situation, but I will share everything I know from my experience.
Some things I want to clarify:
1. Froot created the impression that I was an innocent victim in need of saving from Jon’s dangerous behavior. If Froot were truly concerned about my safety, this wouldn’t be the first time I heard about it and she certainly wouldn’t have put me on blast without considering the effect it would have on my own reputation. I know you had good intentions but, I’m 22; I don’t need protection from someone that thinks they know better than me. I can make my own decisions myself.
2. I received a handful of hateful DMs which has caused me to develop a fear of streaming. I don’t want my small community to suffer for something I was dragged into without my consent. You have hurt my stream, community, and livelihood. It sucks to see my stream and my community suffer because I was needlessly put in the middle of something that I had no involvement in whatsoever.
3. For myself, Jon has been nothing but nice. Even if we had an argument, he and I were able to express our thoughts freely. For those of you who may speculate our relationship, Jon and I never slept together. We held hands, kissed, and cuddled. Yes, there was a point where he wanted to go further, but I declined and he respected my decision.
4. Jon is a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Every time we would go out and eat, we’d go to a bar afterward. Our bill at the bar would never be more than $30 (NYC alcohol pricing). Jon would drink one mixed drink, where I would have one mixed drink and multiple beers. Every occasion I saw Jon drinking, it would always be one mixed drink and that was enough. At LMBM, I had a good amount to drink already, and the drink I ordered was stronger than I thought. I asked Jon if he could finish it for me because we were about to leave. He did and both he and I were so drunk that the next bar our friends decided to go to, we had to take a breather and sit at our table. Later he admitted to me he was a lightweight, and he finished my drink to impress me.
5. We are all aware that Jon has a lot of pride in himself. He and I have confided in each other and Jon was able to share things about his past with a strong mind. A day after fusion, Jon stayed in Jersey so we could hang out and stream together. We ate together at a diner but I could tell Jon was annoyed with Froot from our time at Fusion. As I said, I never knew why Jon had such a problem with this group in the first place because it just seemed like childish drama. Jon was silent for a bit and said “I wasn’t even going to tell you this, but I trust you” Jon was choking upon his words, and teary-eyed when he told me the sexual misconduct that took place in Froot’s house. I held his hand and told him he didn’t have to continue, and that we could talk about this later in private if he wanted to. I sometimes think if my words ever comforted him or just confirmed his fears even more. I told him I’m sorry that someone you trusted violated your space. I’m proud of him for being able to cope with it so well because male victims are never taken seriously.
These are serious allegations and I am watching the situation unfold knowing information from my experience, as well as the information that has been revealed to everyone else. I cannot pass judgment on something when I am unaware of the full story. I will always believe when someone says they have been mistreated. I know the mob mentality is rampant, but I encourage everyone to please PLEASE re-read everything about this situation and see credible evidence. (I will link all the events in order below.) We must believe the victims that have been mistreated. We must see through the personal vendettas and bias as allegations like these can ruin people’s careers/livelihood.
To Froot,
I know to you, as a woman who felt wronged by Jon, it may have set off some red flags in your mind when you saw us together. At the same time, the way you talked about me in your post made me feel like I had no agency over myself. Truthfully, I felt like I was used as a talking point and it disempowered me, and I know you take the empowerment of women in the scene very seriously according to your post. In the future if something like this happens please censor names to avoid negatively impacting a fellow woman in this scene, especially now that we know how toxic and disgusting it can be. I’d like an apology, seeing how this whole ordeal negatively impacted my mental health and ability to maintain a stream schedule.
To everyone else,
Please don’t DM me or comment in my stream asking about my friendship with Jon. We are not going to be as close as we were before, especially after all of this. I’m upset with him not having a level head when these allegations came to be and I’m upset with the way he handled it. I can say for a fact he is not a predator or an abuser, but he does need to keep his emotions in check especially when it comes to tournament rage.
Again, we want to be able to empower those who feel like they couldn’t. If you yourself are feeling this way, please find someone to confide in. We the people care. I’m sorry to everyone’s heart that are hurting during all of this. I wish there was a magical way to fix all of this, but we will heal together as a whole.
-Hazel/Pups
Links:
main:
https://twitter.com/ProbablyJut/status/1278043708131344388
https://twitter.com/hailz0mbie/status/1278050775604834315
https://twitter.com/King_Venia/status/1278086460361576449
https://twitter.com/DaramgarSmash/status/1278084322361257988
https://twitter.com/xoFROOT/status/1278210306557259777
https://twitter.com/King_Venia/status/1278426083105353730
https://twitter.com/xoFROOT/status/1278511330648088576
https://twitter.com/King_Venia/status/1278532483257073664
In regards:
https://twitter.com/DaramgarSmash/status/1278108869215092739
https://twitter.com/MilleniumY2K/status/1278938708604080129
https://twitter.com/riverheart__/status/1278741046889984000