Hi friends. Let me preface this by expressing my commiseration to anyone who has found themselves in an abusive relationship; whether it being romantic, platonic, or even familial. I empathize with you and I hear you.
I would like to share my experience with an abusive relationship in hopes of maybe resonating with someone who has endured something like this. As well as expressing my concern for this mans potential future victims. My reason for sharing this publicly on my twitter platform is because the person I’m going to be speaking on is someone you all know, and is in my opinion, a serial abuser. He has put his hands on not only myself but another one of my close friends who was romantically involved with him. (Who had it far worse than I did because she lived closer to him, so the physical abuse was more prevalent in their day to day relationship) If I’m being honest, he has no business being allowed any type of positive opportunity involving the esports industry. Seeing him at halo events triggers me.
We were long distance but he flew to me a few times. I dated this person from 17-18 years old, which in my opinion is a crucial stage of self esteem and individuality development. Of course in the beginning of the relationship, the honey moon phase was in full effect...but as time went on, jealousy/anger started to overshadow any type of healthy communication that he had with me. He would get jealous over minuscule things. That jealousy would then result in emotional/verbal abuse where he would call me pretty much every horrible name you could think of...over something like playing a video game with other people instead of him (LMAO wtf cmon). I don’t deem it necessary to share every physically abusive encounter I had with this individual because only one instance of violently putting your hands on someone is enough to repudiate any type of relations with them. But trust me there was more than one occasion.
I’m not entirely sure what started this particular fight that resulted in a physical altercation. I just remember us laying down kind of irritated with each other because of something we were arguing about and I was trying to go to sleep and not deal with it while emotions were hostile. Me ignoring him made him angry and he started grabbing my arms from behind as I was laying on my side shaking me violently to get me to keep fighting. Me ignoring him sent him in a rage and all I remember is him wrapping his arm around my neck attempting to strangle me. I physically could not breathe and I felt my face turning red and hot. He was screaming so angrily in my ear while doing this. The choking and yelling went on for probably 45 seconds before I could break free of his restraint. Once he let go I was frantically looking for my phone to call the police because I was home alone with him and genuinely scared of what he was capable of, considering all the things he would threaten me with during fights prior to him coming to my house. Me attempting to call for help made him even MORE mad and he proceeded to grab my phone out of my hand and throw it. He then grabbed both of my hands, digging his nails into me, (I had a very deep cut from his nails that I took a picture of, and wish I had kept but it was years ago so I lost the picture) and he dragged me across my room. He was holding my hands together in front of me in the hand cuff position as he was screaming in my face with pure terror. I broke away and pushed him out of my room and locked the door and he proceeded to bang on it of course to try and get back in, because he was scared I was going to call 911. He couldn’t get in obviously so he literally punched my door so hard that he created a hole in it (the hole is still there today and I lied to my family about how it got there because I never even told them anything about him hurting me because I was embarrassed). I don’t remember how it ended or what ended up happening after this but I didn’t end up calling the police. After he left my house I continued to date him (I don’t know, don’t ask me why). The verbal/emotional abuse of course was ongoing for the entirety of our relationship and when he would come here, the physical abuse continued as well. I got out of the relationship eventually and he continued to message me and harass me for 7 MONTHS AFTER WE WERENT TOGETHER ANYMORE. In total he had made OVER 50 TWITTER ACCOUNTS TO TRY AND MESSAGE ME AS I WOULD BLOCK ALL OF THEM. I went to my first halo event (Dreamhack Denver). This was prob a couple months after the breakup. He was going to be there. On the Thursday before the first day of the event he was relentlessly messaging me asking if he could hang out with me and talk to me. He came up to me when I was sitting in the stands and I told him to go away and he wouldn’t. I had to message one of my friends at the time to come distract him so I could walk away. (Thank you again Uriah).
This relationship would go on to destroy any type of self worth or positive image I had of myself. I found myself feeling extremely insecure and sensitive in every relationship after him. But with all of that being said, I am the happiest I’ve been in a long time. And to my babygirl Jenelle, I wrote this out for us. I hope this acts as a catalyst in you coming forward about your experience with him. Thanks for reading 👍🏻