Sorry for the twitlonger
I have been hesitant on posting anything, because I didn’t want to receive backlash. I had a whole other thing written up about some things that happened to me in this scene, but I’m not going to get in to the specifics of all of that. I will say it’s disgusting, and it was wrong how I was treated and how many others have been treated. I have never been treated so poorly by anyone about the fact that I am a woman until I joined the smash scene. Since I started attending weeklies (about 5 years ago) I was targeted just for merely being there. I barely talked to anyone. I had my boyfriend (at the time) accompany me to every tournament. He didn’t play smash, but I made him go with me since I didn’t really know anyone. From there that’s when you start getting talked about. You become a point of interest because you are a girl playing smash. Nasty things said about you. You are spoken about by random people in group chats you’ve never even met. You get rumors and lies spread about you. You get made fun of. You get constantly talked about for what you look like, good or bad. That’s it, you’re just seen as an object/entertainment. Degrading terms are used about you, things I’ve never been called before. I couldn’t understand why I was getting talked about like this. Getting harassed/people following me around, people I didn’t know. Even the sexist little remarks and treatment that came with every tournament I went to. Accused of sleeping with anyone I was seen talking to, especially the notable people in the scene.
Someone assaulted me, he was not listening to me telling him to get off of me, me trying to push him off of me and him getting aggressive, laughing at me saying how cute it is when I’m mad. (Anyways, I will not be going in to any more specifics with what happened, but it still affects me to this day) and having it become gossip. Neither of us had been drinking, so I’m tired of people using that as an excuse for this person, too. People begun to spread lies (I never heard the true story being told, and I never spoke about what happened to me except with a few close friends who also did not speak about it). The people talking about what happened to me used it as more of an excuse to talk badly about me, call me a whore/slut, say I was overreacting, say I wanted attention. This was strange to me, since again, I never really spoke about it. It happened a couple years ago, but I recently saw it brought up in a group chat and was spreading more misinformation.
Another incident with someone molesting me, sticking his hand in to my pants, when he thought I was sleeping, until I “woke up” and I pretended to not know what had happened. I went to my room, locking myself in, and crying the rest of the night.
Someone setting up keyloggers on to their computer to save my passwords. He had a secret phone dedicated to my social media that he hacked in to. Stalking me. Seeing what I was doing and who I was talking to, all my private messages and pictures, for about two years, before I found out. This person was not and never had been my boyfriend or someone I had ever been interested in, and he was aware of that. Not that that would matter but I’ve had people try and say “well weren’t you guys in a relationship?”. My region not going to ban this person, even when I offered to provide evidence (we had a form to fill out if you were attempting to ban someone). Our TO stepped in at that point to help me and ultimately did get him banned (thank you for actually caring, Cyrus). I have friends still associating with this person. Some even living with him. This bothers me, of course, but it is what it is.
I’m sorry to all of the victims. There obviously have been worse offenses than what I’ve been through. To the ones who haven’t told their story. I’m sorry. Just seeing what’s going on these past few days. I’m disgusted, with a lot of things. I’m disgusted to what has happened to people, but I’m also disgusted by how others are using this as an attempt to try and dogpile on others. They are using it as an excuse to make it about them (You could say I’m doing the same by sharing my experience, and that’s okay. I just wanted to share my piece). They are using it as an excuse to try and be more popular on twitter. A lot of things going on trying to “cancel” people and hurt them and their reputation, when it’s really just something that should be worked out between the two parties and left off twitter for random people to see (obviously this is dependent on the incident, as some of these things should be brought to light). With that being said, I’m not perfect. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I regret how I’ve acted and about some things I’ve said in the past, especially about some of the other girls. With that, I think it’s time I will take my leave from the smash community. Not sure if I’ll be coming back. It has been a really unhealthy environment to be a part of. It is not welcoming to women, but I believe everyone has the ability to grow and do better. Hopefully it does become a safe environment for everyone. That being said, I have made great memories, I truly love the game. I have made some great friends. I will continue to be their friends. Thank you.