Isabella · @Lewdicario

1st Jul 2020 from TwitLonger

Smash Community Experiences

I said I wouldn't write more, but I was finally motivated to after I did a quick search for one of my abusers on Twitter, and funnily enough, he was being talked about. Unfortunately, this person has since made a new Discord account, and I do not have the recent history to pull them back up. I'll also mention other stories after the main one. I'm sorry I do not have evidence for this. It is a bit difficult to be able to record a physical interaction, anyway. I hope this, along with the other existing evidence and rumors surrounding him are enough.

I was groomed by S2H from California in the "technical" age range. I believe we started when I was 17, and he visited Houston to compete in TGC 6 (which I did well in - https://www.ssbwiki.com/Tournament:TGC_6). He admitted to me, I believe, that he visited just to see me. Prior to our meeting, we talked a lot on Discord. I read this thread (https://twitter.com/JazaraWRLD/status/1278417809769295872?s=20) and I recall I was treated similarly. I was motivated to speak out after reading that thread. He made sure to compliment me a lot on my smash skill and appearance. It was similar to the linked thread, I know he was very very flirtatious and made sure to give me lots of compliments. I'm not sure how I'd be able to tell at such a young age whether or not this was appropriate behavior, so I thought it was fine. I reciprocated and appreciated his compliments towards me. I saw no issue with him visiting and we discussed that opportunity. He lives in California and I live in Texas. So he visited. Either way, we played friendlies in smash together. At some point he offered to play in a section of the venue that had nobody else in it. It was in its own slot in a corner and you can't see from outside unless you go in. Something like that, so it was secretive enough. We started playing friendlies in there. I used Lucario and he used Meta Knight and Diddy Kong. I think when it started he was playing the latter, since that's what I have the most recollection on, not that it matters much. At some point, he placed the controller down and reached in between my legs and pushed his head towards mine. He started feeling around, and it took some time for me to register what was going on, and how much I didn't feel comfortable with what just happened. I decided at that point a physical relationship was not something I was ready for, nor did I give consent to be touched the way I was. At the time, I couldn't drive, obviously, so I had to make up an excuse to leave, then I left the area and called for my mom to pick me up. I certainly didn't come back in, so that was the end of the tournament for me. After that, I think I told him online that I didn't feel comfortable. After that, we didn't talk or stopped talking completely. I don't remember. That's about it with my interactions with him. It's the one I wanted to talk about most, but I will move on to other events.

Going back in time a bit. I started playing in smash as a minor, and competed in tournaments towards the end of my minor age. At the time, I didn't really understand sexist culture - I was far too young for that. I used to run a community and had to deal with a lot of single, furry men that were constantly hitting on me. I didn't know how to handle it at the time and I did not handle it well. Nobody should have to know at a young age. I think I was around 16 at the time, but I'm bad with that, so don't take that with certainty. I flirted back because I thought it was normal to be constantly hit on. I identified with the furry group from a young age and was quickly pulled into that very sexually active culture. I was the only girl surrounded by lots of constantly horny men. A few men in particular admitted to wanting to travel to marry me because I was a female Lucario, or something like that. Lots of comments about wanting to be with me in general. I didn't really understand what was appropriate or not, so I let it slide, despite being staff in that community. I thought it was okay for men to be publicly flirting with me and saying sexual things about me. This was my first real introduction into specific sections of smash communities. Eventually I was expelled and ostracized from that community, the blame being placed on me. That's fine, I was young and immature and didn't know better. I remember at some point during the this story that I was groomed by an online figure (who will not be named, I don't know where he is anymore or if he's active) and manipulated into doing a lot of things on his behalf. Not much else happened of it though, since he left the community at some point, I think.

Sometime after the previous story, I got into another relationship with someone I respected a lot. We had a good time for a few years, but it ended abruptly. This relationship was entirely agreed on and nearly everything that happened in it - until the end. He asked to visit since it was generally agreed on that the relationship could go better IRL. I went along with it, but closer to the deadline, I decided against it. I didn't feel comfortable inviting him over and I didn't really think we should continue the relationship at that point. I'm also a coward. I said no, and then he threatened to release the naked pictures of me unless I agreed. He said a lot of awful things to me (don't remember specific words, but slut/bitch was probably some of them), because I said no. He said he enjoyed forcing me to talk to him because of the threat. I remember crying for hours. After a lot of discussion with some people I trusted, I was pushed to confront the authorities. I asked my mom about it and we did just that, and a police officer visited us. I think he said that my now-ex was contacted. I gave all the evidence of the threats. I remember wanting to see my ex behind bars at that point. If my pictures were posted, I was all too sure my livelihood, at minimum in smash, would be completely over. Something I really cared about, and still do. I think my ex told me that he was contacted, and that was the end of us talking for a while. For the record, we had met up before, and it went fine. I won't go into details since it's private, but I generally enjoyed my time spent with him and really respected him overall. I am not releasing his name because we moved on from it and he admitted to what he did, and I have moved on from it as well. I think I did the right thing to ensure my safety. Please don't pressure me to release his name, that's not what I'm after here. I enjoyed my relationship with him until that last act. Also if you know who I'm talking about, do not release his name as well. That's not the point of this. Honestly, because of that possibility alone, I've been hesitant on talking about it, but I might as well share everything at this point. I am begging once again to not release the unnamed names because it will ruin the entire point of me even coming out about this at all.

There's a lot of ingrained sexism in our culture, particularly towards women. There's been lots of nuanced interactions in which people treat me as a subhuman because of my sex. I can think of a few interactions among Lucario players as well. In one case, I went to Super Smash Con and had a good time. After the tournament, however, someone claimed to have "met" me. Then they proceeded to call me a "bitch" in a sized public(?) server. I never even interacted with him there, nor did I even know he was at the tournament, but that was enough for him. He was a fellow Lucario player, unfortunately. A couple of other Lucarios have spoken "at" me in regards to being something to spank or kiss. Another Lucario has talked behind my back about my sex as well. There are some others but it's just tiny nuanced sexist interactions. I do not feel comfortable disclosing the names of these players, not worth it and there's no point.

I've also done some questionable things throughout my smash experiences, but it's not particularly relevant to these cases being brought up on Twitter by everyone, so no point in discussing literally everything in my life, I think. I have done some bad things when I was a young, stupid kid and I have repented over some choices over multiple years, so I'm sorry for those cases as well. What frustrates me is that some people hold grudges for even as long as half a decade and drag your name through the dirt regardless. Not entirely relevant to this post though, so whatever.

I want to thank @nedPT_, @ssbucarlos and others who have accompanied me in tournaments and ensured I wasn't alone and have always given me support!

I'm sorry for bringing more drama to this account, but I think I should do my part as a woman in the community to speak up. Thanks for reading this and supporting me, it means a lot.

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