❤︎ lala ❤︎ · @usahano
1st Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
my experience as a girl in the smash community
i don’t think my story is nearly as important as all the other stories people have already spoken up about but i too am tired of how women are treated in this community and outside of it.
i’ve lost count of how many times guys have downplayed my skill (whenever i beat them) just because i’m a girl. some wouldn’t stop rubbing it in my face if they beat me at least once. i constantly had to listen to how it’s natural for men to be better than women. that i’m better off learning how to cook or clean instead of wasting my effort and time trying to play a game i’ll never be good at because i’m a girl. i‘ve never found those “women belong in the kitchen” or “go make me a sandwich” jokes funny
i didn’t know what i was doing wrong. it was so demotivating to deal with this over and over while i just wanted to have fun playing smash. i felt like i was alienated from the community because of my gender.
an example of this happening again is when i attended a tourney last year during the winter. i participated in ladder since i was eliminated out of my bracket pretty early so i wanted to play a bit more to hopefully cheer up. i won the bo3 pretty convincingly against my first opponent. as i was packing my stuff he said he didn’t expect me to be that good. i asked him why and he said it was because i am a girl and i dress so girly, like i have no business being here. i still don’t exactly understand what he meant by that but at that moment it made feel pretty sad and excluded once again
i either get hated or loved for being a girl. there is no in between. so the extreme opposite in comparison to what i talked about just now also exists. some people only showed interest in me and attempted to befriend me because i was a cute girl that played smash. i’ve lost so many ‘friends’ just because they developed a crush for me and i rejected them. as a result they refused to contact me anymore.
it still hurts to think that most of them befriended me just for the sole purpose of dating me. as if there’s nothing else to me as a person besides being a woman and being able to game. the worst thing is that it was out if my control and it made me feel like i couldn’t trust anyone anymore. i didn’t want to become paranoid towards my own friends, fearing that it would happen again.
moving on to a tournament which is syndicate 2019. what happened there is something i was personally not aware of until my friends told me. when the TOs were announcing our pools, i was paying attention to what they were saying since it was my turn to play. according to my friends, a guy stood scarily close next to me and he sniffed me. a friend of mine noticed this (you know who you are) and managed to shoo him away without directly telling him to go. this is all that happened and while it might not be much it made me feel super grossed out
something else that also happened at syndicate 2019 takes place in the women’s restroom. when i came in, there was a guy washing his hands. he was the only one there so he must’ve heard me come in since he immediately noticed me. he told me the line for the men’s restroom was way too long and he really had to pee. it didn’t take long until he left and that’s when i went into one of the stalls. i felt so creeped out and unsafe at that moment, that i locked myself up in the toilet stall for at least 20 minutes to calm down. having gone through sexual harassment in the past didn’t help. please, PLEASE don’t ever do this.
we mean it when we say that being by yourself as a girl at a tournament, is very scary. ESPECIALLY when there’s no one else around. the feeling follows you around everywhere, to standing outside to get some fresh air or going to the toilet. what makes it worse is that 99% of the time some unknown guy approaches me. they try to make small talk and eventually end up asking whether i’m participating in the tournament and if i’m there with my boyfriend or not. i am not kidding, i‘ve been asked these questions so often. when i answer no, they start flirting with me and at that point i‘m just so uncomfortable that i have no clue what to say anymore and i try to brush it off by laughing or saying thank you.
from my experience, it’s very difficult to get those guys to stop bothering you. making up an excuse isn’t as easy as you think. i once straight up said i really needed to go back to the venue and the guy literally volunteered to tag along. it’s very difficult for me to stop being nice to people. but i’ve been getting better at saying no to things i don’t want. once i’m back around my friends, i feel way more safer and comfortable than before. so i can’t stress enough how nervous i am to be by myself when i need to go somewhere
don’t get me wrong, i love the smash community with my whole heart. i‘ve made so many friends here that i’m so incredibly grateful for. but we really need to stop ignoring these glaring issues. i hope we can all work together to be better.
from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who shared their story with the world. it encouraged me to do the same. although i really wish i could’ve spoken up sooner. i was too afraid and i’ll admit that my fear hasn’t gone away completely. i‘m scared that my story isn’t ‘good enough’ to bring attention to. i’m sorry