DotaDeMoN

Jimmy · @DotaDeMoN

29th Jun 2020 from TwitLonger

It's Tomorrow.


This past week has been an eye opener among the entire community. Both men and women who have experienced any kind of degree of sexual harassment: verbal or physical abuse, rape, and etc. have validity in their feelings—this is something that should not be taken lightly nor should it be dismissed. It is unfortunate to see numerous cases unfold the way it did in search for justice and understanding. It has been endearing to read brave individuals speak up about their experiences that have inspired others to voice their stories to develop a platform enabling comfortability, safety, and reinforcement. However, it might be true that other people have gone through terrible circumstances, my situation is entirely different. I firmly believe conclusive allegations of myself have been greatly misunderstood.

There are compelling reasons to believe recent allegations of me are true, regardless there are always two sides to each story. I want to first address Eleine Sun. I've always perceived our relationship as more of a friendship. Reading your post about how you felt during that incident at MLG Columbus left me speechless. I thought I was able to read you and understand your verbal and nonverbal communication. It appeared to me that my flirting was reciprocated by you. However, the prominent miscommunication between us unraveled and transformed into a heated controversy.

November 2013 was a long seven years ago, it troubles me to hear you claim, ‘I think he even grabbed my arm with his other hand to keep me from leaving immediately.’ I agree that I can come off with this “flirtatious play boy” persona or whatever it may be—a point that needs emphasizing since so many people now believe I’m some kind of predator, creep, or abuser...is that my true intentions with women are not to use, abuse, sexually assault, man handle, or, “plead” anyone for sexual favors.

Eleine, I do not expect you to accept my apology, but I am sincerely apologetic for making you feel unsafe, threatened, or mistreated. Eleine, you assume that I simply abandoned or mitigated this situation.... I cannot abandon an unfair treatment without knowing it was there in the first place. Ultimately, this was a huge miscommunication on both parties, I misunderstood you, and clearly, you misunderstood me. Here many of you would probably object that I am only trying to defend myself or play victim, but, should those defendants who are ‘innocent until proven guilty’ have their reputations ‘canceled’, defamed, or shattered simply by facing unproven allegations? Listening to both sides of the story will convince you that there is more to a story than both sides. It is simply ludicrous to spread rumors with your mouth—with what your eyes did not see.

Specifically, Ken Chen concedes that he has verified the truth concerning an anonymous' story about my alleged sexual assault towards her. This story is discreditable in a couple ways: 1)Ken asserts the staff member who walked in on us can confirm that we were in a room together—but does not confirm seeing me coming into physical contact with the anonymous, 2) after the declared incident in '2014,' X tells a friend about it in 2015— Ken confirms with this friend that the accounts were consistent, only on the shaking grounds in which he “knows and trusts”. Truth is supposed to be in correspondence to, or with, a fact. There is a lack of evidence, a problem of interpretation, and even witnesses can be unreliable. Also, just because someone told someone else something happened and this third party can confirm that they said this then, the underlying interpretation of what happened could be false or inaccurate. In short, corroboration of an inaccurate interpretation lacks strength.

Hypothetically speaking, if this testimony were to be true; it still would not be in my nature to publicly attempt to reach for someone's undergarments who are showing signs of discomfort—especially if it is at an event where not only a staff member but anyone can walk in at any time. I am having a difficult time trying to “make sense of the situation” too… The way you choose to demonstrate this ‘incident’ is juvenile. If this was reenacted as a movie scene, not only would the director and cast members be utterly confused, but the writer herself would be perplexed. If boy started to casually touch girl, and girl is horrified by it, she could’ve easily just walked away before he ‘grabbed her underwear.” Grabbing someone’s underwear sounds like a lot of effort. In essence, this may not be the best ‘defense’ or 'explanation' on my part only because once again, this claim is flat out dubious.

The caveat is that the apparent complexity of an accusation should not be judged by a naked eye, but rather with reason and authentication. It is interesting how Wicked begins to introduce anonymous number two. She first points out how she was not going to publicize this case, however after hearing two other ambiguous accounts, she believes she can illustrate my pattern of behavior. I concede that my pattern of behavior can, again, involve flirting and being a ‘playboy’ but it is not in my pattern of behavior to grope women inappropriately.

First and foremost, I have no recollection of this ever happening and it does not help that 1) you remain anonymous, 2) omit the year, and 3) redact the name of the event, (perhaps, you remain anonymous because it is difficult for you to construct a well developed accusation).
“From my perspective,” if I were to try to hit on a woman, i.e stranger, I would start with my ‘play boy’ pick up lines (lol), and charm. Subsequently, if and only if, I notice the feelings were reciprocated, I would then ask her if she would like to dance. I would not charge head forward dry humping her...FYI it takes a lot more than just a blink of an eye and cheap small talk to erect my penis. Speaking transparently here, even if I were to accidentally have an erection, that would not incline me to keep dancing with a girl. In actuality, I would feel extremely embarrassed and immediately pull away. To put it clearly, basic human interaction, for me at least, is not to do something like that—particularly with a random stranger who was just entering the Dota scene. Considering that early on in my career, there has always been rumors of rumors and stories of stories in speculation of me, in which most cases have just been fabricated and exaggerated through multiple parties.

Ultimately, what is at stake here is not only my career but my apprehension towards even coming into platonic contact with any female—perhaps, that was everyone’s goal, to completely exile me from the scene. Though Eleine, Ken and anonymous, Wicked and anonymous, seem to be determined to depict me as some kind of sex predator, they fail to recognize the bigger picture. My point though, is not to demonstrate myself as a perfect individual or ‘play victim’, but remind everyone how I have always been misunderstood by the community. Ever since I could remember, my persona has been critically examined, criticized, dissected, misinterpreted, and etc. I have long accepted the fact I will always be under a fallacious microscope. I chose to dismiss these false accusations early on because I learned how to detach my feelings and emotions to conventional words people have attached to my name. I think this slow disintegration (from the public’s naked eye) of my reputation from my early career till now is to be read not as a tragic event, but as a necessary, even helpful, stage in human development.



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