As I sit typing this I'm pretty upset. This is a statement I've debated making with myself a dozen times and it shouldn't have taken hundreds of others sharing their stories to finally motivate me, but it did. For that I'm sorry. It is however time to practice what I preach.


So let's talk about Alebrelle. I met Alebrelle right after I started streaming and trying for affiliate. Alebrelle hadn't been streaming much longer then me but knew so much about the platform, and was streaming really similar content under the LGBTQIA tag. I took to silently watching some streams, then began chatting. We got along really well really quick. He ended up checking out my stream and dming me some advice. Then it picked up, we were friends and in this together, planning content, playing off each other, and he spent a ton of time helping me figure out tons of in and outs to using SLOBS and how to improve my stream. This is relevant because it later was held over my head on a few occasions.


So it was last year a few months before twitch con that things got really complicated and really uncomfortable for me maintaining this relationship. He began getting much more flirtatious in nature and wanting to talk or game way more. I can roll with the punches pretty well on flirting and not be too bothered, but he began to more aggressively demand my time. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really have much down time. I stream as my only source of income; I stream sex work at night some times; during my ofline hours I'm on the board of two non profits, and at that time volunteered with several others. He, knowing this, began to guilt and harass me about not giving him enough attention, making slightly joking comments about stopping helping me, or ghosting me all together.


Then he began watching my sex work streams. I was fine with this at first; however, it definitely changed his behavior outside of those spaces. He began only referring to me as " baby girl" and restarted the irritation that I didn’t show him enough attention. Then, out of nowhere, DMs me "we need to talk, like on a poly relationship level we are having communication problems." I was SUPER thrown off by this as we weren't in a relationship, nor had we ever discussed, or even suggested it. As a matter of fact Alebrelle openly talked on his stream a lot about how bad long distance relationships are and that he’d never do one. I intentionally stopped talking privately when not necessary for a while, then when we did speak again everything seemed fine-ish. The plans for TwitchCon were coming up. He was super excited and couldn’t wait to see me, then just ignored me the first two days. He then invited a group of people I was with to a party at someone's house and the group invited me. I decided to go. As we get there someone is, of course, mobile streaming with what I believe was a little over 400 viewers. Despite me not knowing her or her audience I was thrust into political debates. I said hi to Alebrelle, he then brought up me not talking to him while in front of people as well as on a 400 viewer stream. I awkwardly fumbled not wanting to call out what my problems were. He then made me promise to talk more or else we were done and he wouldn't waste any more time on me.


After TwitchCon I called him on discord, I told him I was uncomfortable with the baby girl comments, the poly relationship line and other things like this. He then attempted to gaslight me and said he was just matching my exact language, which did not and does not make any sense to me. After that I stopped going in his stream and DMing I learned he was outed from a community for similar behavior. I then talked in private to multiple mutuals, ALL who are queer, femme presenting, and all had the exact same experience. not just one or two btw, I had multiple first and second hand accounts told to me by various people. Their stories aren't mine to tell, so I won’t go into names or details just establishing pattern behavior.


Then the biggest wtf hit. I had people start blowing me up because they knew we were " friends" and he was live and having a meltdown crying and freaking out in front of 1K viewers. I began calling him, as did a mutual of ours trying to get him to end the stream. He did and we talked. I don't want to discuss anything said in private there out of respect that when I'm doing something like that it's to help someone and I promise confidentiality. What I do want to talk about is what made me stop checking up on him after and intentionally start trying to distance myself and my community from him.


The meltdown was over a breakup with his then boyfriend R. This was a horrible dance of abuse and control that he BROADCAST LIVE and hundreds of fucking people cheered him on and called him the victim I was disgusted. He posted screenshots of him messaging after R had specifically asked him not to. They were public in his discord and way more than once he would go live knowing they would see, cry and talk about how much they needed him. They continued posting screenshots, and talking about actively harassing this person who had VERY clearly asked them to stop. No one cared. The worst abusive behavior that came from it was Alebrelle WENT TO R'S WORK WAITED OUTSIDE AND THEN FOLLOWED THEM IN. It doesn't end there, he openly shared he fell to the ground, threw a fit and didn’t leave until R called the cops.


It's vile despicable behavior. They also have zero regard for power over situations, as to my last knowledge he has a command their bot auto posts multiple times a night every time he is live talking about how badly he wants to fuck a fan, and anyone can hit him up in his area to have sex with him.


I don’t want anyone attacking or confronting him over this, I just wanted the ability to share, to warn possible vulnerable people to back off, and to make sure everyone thinks about the behaviors shown and considers the toxic unacceptable parts of it. I don’t want a giant feud or war and I know this will be hard as our communities are so deeply connected. I hope he can get help, change these toxic behaviors, and do better in the future. However It's a story I needed to be able to explain so everyone knows why I've now unfollowed, and moved on. When I tried to confront him on issues it was met with threats of cutting me off for not paying enough attention and talking things out, then trying to talk things out was directly met with gaslighting. Hence why I feel this is now just something I should be saying public, as I'm no longer comfortable trying to do so in dms.

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