my experiences with anthony and my sexual assault.


so a lot of you may know this because i talk about it alot but i was a victim of sexual assault at owl grand finals 2019. im wasnt comfortable posting on main but i shares my story on private first for those who are interested. after seeing how supportive everyone was i felt like i could finally post it here too.

it all goes back to a few months before grand finals. i met anthony through twitter. i was starstruck to say the least. i was still relatively new to the community, and wanted to be a content creator and make a name for myself. so having someone who worked for an owl team show an interest in me? it was wild. we started talking and realized we had similar interests. after a while we called and would watch owl together and talk. then things escalated a bit. things got sexual. he was saying explicit things about what he would like to do to me, asked me for pictures (which im not proud of sending), and one night when we called he wanted more. as someone who had never had a guy show genuine interest in me. and he was with mayhem. and i couldn't believe he likes me! so despite being uncomfortable i agreed. because he made me feel special. and i felt like he understood me. that night we called. things went to the next level. i fell asleep. woke up the next morning. and he was gone. no dm. nothing. it wasnt until i asked him why he fed me some line about "wanting to better himself for me" and never spoke to me again. pretended like i didn't exist. later i found out i wasnt the only girl he's done this sort of thing to. using his reputation to make girls thing they're special, get what he wants from them, then drops them with some random reason and never speaks to them again.

fast forward to grand finals. he saw me tweet about going and dmed me for the first time in months and asked to hang out. i was excited and determined to meet as many people as possible so i agreed. i wanted to meet as many as my friend as i could before i had to go home. so the night before the match we met up outside my friends hotel where we were all hanging out and we walked to love park. we sat and talked until around 11pm when i said it was late and i wanted to go back and sleep because my friends and i were meeting at 8am the next morning for meet and greets. thats when he told me "oh its late and my air bnb is 30 minutes away and itll be expensive....." and me being me i offered him to stay at my hotel, since it was close to the meet and greet we'd be going to tomorrow and i was staying alone. he knew i was alone. he took me up on my offer. we got back to my hotel room and talked for a bit. i repeatedly said "im tired. im gonna sleep." but that wasnt what he wanted. at one point he got on top of me. and iremember looking up and him and thinking "he's gonna kiss me now". and he did. this was my first kiss. and i hated it. he was on top of me, we kissed, he started trying to go further. i said no. he kept trying. i pushed myself further than i was comfortable because i told myself "other people do this thing and are okay with it. so i should be too" but the whole time i remember screaming in my head that i didnt want this. to please make it stop. not him. not with him. please. stop. but it didnt. at one point he gave up because i had just shut down. kept saying i wanted to sleep. and he got off of me. but that wasnt the end of it.

i woke up the next morning, before my alarm, to him pressed up against me. i was uncomfortable and pretended i was still asleep. i laid there while he pulled me closer. did more things i was uncomfortable with. and then he asked for sex again. i turned him down again. and again. until finally my alarm went off. i rushed to get ready and get out of there. my hands shaking the whole time. eventually we parted ways, and i saw him later at the meet and greet, and again at the game. he pretended like i didn't exist. didnt look in my direction. didnt say hi. nothing. to this day he still hasnt spoken to me. so i have to sit here everyday, seeing him on my timeline. seeing people glorify him. because of who he is. ive told a few people what he did. they chose him over me. and im not comfortable to share this on main because this community terrifies me. but he's broken me, and im slowly putting myself back together. meanwhile i have to stand by and watch him continue to thrive. later on i hear that thibbledork was sent to grand finals to control anthony. to help him "keep it in his pants". and somehow i still fell victim. i thought we were meeting as friends, but clearly he had different plans. now i have panic attacks when i see him on my tl. i dont like people touching me. and the thought of anything remotely intimate makes me feel sick.

im working on getting better. but its hard when its someone like him. ive spent nights scrubbing my skin raw in the
shower while crying because i feel dirty. but no matter how much i try, i can still feel his hands on me. i relive that night over and over in my head whenever things get remotely close to intimate. but im tired of letting that one night control me. it doesnt define who i am now and it never will. this is my story. and if it helps others who experienced similar things to come forward or helps them realize they're not alone, then ill be the strong one for all of us. you're not alone. you're never alone.

finally, i'd really like to thank my amazing friends: sami, waka, chels, art, ellie, matt. and especially matt. my amazing boyfriend. without you all i never would've been strong enough to speak up about it. so thank you for being my amazing support system. i love you all. ❤️

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