Kara Corvus · @KaraCorvus
23rd Jun 2020 from TwitLonger
My Abuse
Some years ago I was dating someone who worked at Riot named Jeffrey Lin who was hired as a game designer, specifically to work on player behavior.
We met while I was in college, I was an undergrad, he was a grad student. We started dating and then later he was hired by Riot due to his PhD degree. For the first year or so, I thought things were normal. Looking back now I realized this was not the case at all. He would not let me interact or hang out with male friends. I had to delete all male friends from all social media, and I eventually disguised the phone numbers of my male friends to female names to keep him happy. I would start hiding my phone because any text or phone call he would screen and look at and question me about. I eventually deleted all my social medias. He was even suspicious of every ex I ever had, and would grill me about any physical or sexual interaction I ever had with any of them (at this time I was not sexually active yet). During this time, I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, and he would constantly pressure me, and say he felt embarrassed that I wasn't sleeping with him, despite me laying this all out before we even started dating. And would imply he would break up with me if I wouldn't. I eventually gave in. It would hurt almost every time.
Once we moved to Los Angeles for his Riot job, I was given a few job offers with varying salaries, though he urged me to choose the one that had the lowest income, assuring me that he would provide for me while I worked part time and then attended graduate school. I became entirely dependent on him and his income. I think it was at this point once he realized I was trapped, he could start to manipulate and control me. He slowly started to become more and more controlling over all aspects of my life, down to what I wore and how I did my make up. He would constantly make degrading remarks about how if my bra strap showed, I was being a whore and looking for male attention. If I did my makeup, he would chastise me and tell me I just wanted other men to look at me for attention. I ended up feeling so self conscious about everything I wore that I stopped leaving the house besides going to work and had no local friends.
He then began telling me my family was flawed and would never be accepted by his family. That I shouldn't see them anymore because they weren't the type of family that would fit in with all of his members. That I would barely be accepted by his family. Any mistake I made I was called stupid, idiot, and chastised about for long after the mistake was made, even things that weren't within my control. It caused me to not want to do or try anything for fear of being put down.
Eventually, I had found proof of him messaged women on r/gonewild and would find nudes that women sent him, and dick pics he sent to other women. I would constantly find him in lies, and he would string together longer and more elaborate stories to cover them up. I had found incriminating sexually charged texts to other women who worked at Riot, and when confronting him about these, he would lie and say things like "She has a low self esteem and I wanted her to know she is attractive and wanted." These weren't things like saying someone was pretty. They'd be explicit, talking about her breasts, or how sexy she is, or how her clothes made her look sexy that day. Every time I confronted him about something, he had an excuse, a story, a lie. And me being completely dependent and controlled, would forgive him every time. He would make me sleep in another room after a fight, as it was always my fault for everything, and I always had to be punished for it. But only a bit later he would come in to console me, love bomb me, and then demand sex, saying I was "so cute when I cried".
When I visited him at work, he would start to refer to me as his friend around his colleagues. I was extremely upset by this, and he gave me the excuse that he didn't want me to be harassed by fans by being in a relationship with him. Of course I accepted this reason.
The final straw was when he started an online relationship with an 18 year old on the other side of the country (he was 30 something at this time), though I don't know how long into our relationship this started. He had lied to her about being single, and she knew nothing about my existence. He then convinced her to move in with him, as she had some family troubles. The day before she was due to arrive, he kicked me out of our shared apartment, and I had to scramble to find a new place to live. I had to live in a closet in a 2 bedroom apartment shared by 4 other girls. I had barely any belongings to my name.
There are many stories about him by other women he cheated on with. This is not the only one. I'm sure that when I started dating him, he was already dating someone that I was not aware of. As mutual friends had told me years later.
There is much more that I have either forgotten, am not comfortable enough to tell, or have blocked out.
Thank you for reading.