Ⱡayna💉🩸 · @LaynaLazar
23rd Jun 2020 from TwitLonger
This is my experience at Weta Workshop. I refuse to keep quiet anymore.
This is my story. Not about an abuser, but what surrounds a situation of sexual harassment and how a company covers their own regardless of it being wrong.
I was the only woman in the entire 3D department, an entire room filled with young boys and one head of the room. I’ve generally spent my whole life surrounded by guys because of my interests and hobbies, so I was used to it.
I have to be sure to add, the place is absolutely magical. Surrounded by all kinds of armor, weapons, statues, and endless designs. Just about everyone had such a good heart and was warm and welcoming.
My excitement quickly dissolved after the Power Rangers project began, and I was introduced to my team lead, Luke Hawker. Someone who has been at Weta Workshop for about 20 years.
It took no time at all for him to stand uncomfortably close with me at my desk, to remind me of all his accomplishments and his constant need to tell me specifically what he worked on since being there. For some reason he also felt the need to be continuously vocal about his stance on women and how he was very much a feminist.
Things started very small, and seemed innocent to me at the time.
I noticed my male co-workers could walk out and go make a coffee or take a bathroom break when they needed, but when I had done the same- Luke would stop me and ask where I’m going.
He would often ask how long I would be, that I needed to be back quickly or that it wasn’t time for my break yet.
I felt maybe this was normal until I noticed that he didn’t do this to anyone else in the room or our team.
Troy and I only have one car, so we both went to work together. Sometimes I would be a few minutes late (we started at 8am), sometimes ten minutes. I felt this was okay because some of the other guys would come in super late and no one had an issue with it.
One morning when I arrived, I was told by Luke that I needed to ENSURE I was there not only on time, but early because I needed to set a good example for the boys in the room. That I could no longer be late. It was up to me to follow the rules because the boys couldn’t.
This didn’t sit well with Troy and personally made me question myself. I didn’t understand why I was the only one being treated this way, but I knew I was in no position to question either.
Looking back and continuously reflecting, I think things started to go downhill after I confided in Luke one day. I had said it would be so cool to work at Weta Workshop long enough to try to be a Lead. I wanted to know what that felt like, to take care of a team and have the skillset to do so. It felt like a normal conversation filled with hope and curiosity. I guess this is where sexism and politics as well as inflated egos started to collide.
This being my second in house job, I was excited to bring my own figures and toys to put on my desk. It’s something that always seemed so cool to do to express yourself in your workplace.
Luke made it a habit to come over to my desk and tell me how disgusting the women's bodies were that I had on my desk. That those were not the type of women he was sexually attracted to. The conversations that transpired surrounding my interests and the figures I had on my desk made me feel extremely isolated and uncomfortable.
He would often make comments in passing about the pants I was wearing and 'how good I looked in them' that day. Being the only woman not only in the room, but on the team..I started to feel extremely alone especially when given these comments on a day to day basis with no one saying anything about it.
I ignored the comments and chose not to respond with a giggle and a smile. (Which incidentally is what I was seeing other women do in reaction to his advances!? I specifically recall one time where he was having a conversation right behind me with another female colleague from another department, about her bra!!)
The less I responded positively to his uncomfortable comments and conversations, the more in trouble I found myself getting into.
He started to specifically give me new assignments at 5:50 (we leave work at 6:00) and would make me stay late to finish. Troy would have to wait for me in the car outside until I was finished. This happened constantly. I was the only person who would stay after work to finish these things he had given to me, with an exception of my other teammate staying behind from time to time with me. (thank you)
This happened frequently and was not during crunch times.
Simply leaving the room to do what I needed to do around the shop became so unbearable for Luke that he told me I needed to buy a phone. In coming to New Zealand, I didn’t know anyone and had ZERO need for a phone, so Troy and I shared one. He told me I needed a cellphone so he could message me when he needed me and to know where I was at all times.
I ended up buying one and the only numbers I ever had on it were Troys, and Lukes.
I asked my teammate if he needed to do this with Luke, and with zero hesitation, told me no. Why was I the only one that needed to check in with Luke?
This in turn ended up making everything worse.
Instead of bombarding me when I got into the room, I began to get text messages constantly.
My room lead said I needed to tell him ahead of time when I need to leave early etc as well as tell Luke.
When I had done these things, followed the rules, even wrote it point blank on the white board when I needed to leave early- I would get my phone blown up by Luke demanding to know where I was and why. I continued to feel that pressure even though I had cleared it beforehand, and the excuse Luke gave was “I forgot.”
I started to fear doing normal things such as leaving the room to use the bathroom. I constantly found myself running into him. I started to fear being 1 minute late during lunch breaks, or waking up too late in the morning. Going to work was not something I looked forward to anymore.
At this point, I’m not on good terms with Luke and the interactions with him made that clear.
Now let’s get down to where all hell broke loose.
There was a young guy who worked on the other side of the 3D room. I don’t know his name, even today. I hadn’t really taken notice of this person until Troy had warned me to watch myself, as when I was bending down to grab my dog getting ready to leave, Troy had seen him point blank eyeballing my butt. No one else was looking at me that way, except for this guy.
Noted, it happens. Sure.
A few weeks later, I was at the desk of one of my teammates, leaning a bit over the desk to see what he was working on. His desk is positioned at the front of the room in front of the entrance to the door. However, there is enough space for 3 or 4 people to walk in,out, and around me.
The same young guy I mentioned above was on his way to walk out of the door, and my butt was clearly touched. This was no accidental “I bumped into you” “I accidentally brushed up”, I was touched inappropriately.
There was zero reason for that to have happened.
I was touched, and I immediately was in a state of panic. I was shaking and stood at my desk to try and calm myself down. Luke came in right then, and asked me to do something for him and in panic I said, “I’m sorry I can’t right now, something just happened.”
He asked me to explain, and within MOMENTS after telling him I had been inappropriately touched - these words...his face that I will never forget…
“Are you sure you’re not making nothing into something?”
I had absolutely nothing to say after that. The conversation was over and that was it.
In my head I couldn’t rationalize it. Isn’t what happened wrong? Aren’t we supposed to do something about it? Or is it really not that big of a deal by what Luke’s calm response was?
I’m confused, and angry.
I ended up telling my room lead. Who I will leave unnamed because in my heart I feel that there must have been some part of him that knew how screwed all of this was. That or maybe I’m naive and refuse to believe others were like Luke.
His face filled with shock and worry, and asked me if there was anything he could do and if there was anything that I wanted to do. If I wanted to bring it to HR. My mind couldn’t get Luke’s face out of my head and what he said “Are you sure you’re not making nothing into something?” So I said..no. I said I didn’t want to do anything. So..I didn’t.
I had to go to work every day seeing that guy come over to my side of the room and look at me. I started to wear my coat indoors so I could cover my legs and butt. I was so uncomfortable to be there.
I was fired very quickly after that.
It all happened so quickly, my room lead pulled me aside in private and simply told me “there’s no more work for you”.
This was the most loaded pile of crock.
We were in the middle of so much work for the rangers, and I was in charge of all of the female suits at the time. I’m not saying I was extremely skilled five years ago or the best on our team, but I still got my work done.
I’ve been working in both Maya and Zbrush for a handful of years, but I know then I was struggling to put my best work forward because of everything that had happened and how I was being treated. How uncomfortable I had felt being there. Being able to focus was not something I was very good at with all that going on.
Despite this, I quickly started to gather my things so I could leave. I didn’t say anything to anyone, but Luke had to get his last say in. He said to me that he didn’t like Troy’s artwork and the women he sculpted. How we just weren’t suited to be at Weta. That maybe if I had gotten to work on time or followed the rules better I would have worked out.
All I could do was fight back wanting to cry in front of someone who treated me so poorly and got away with it.
This wasn’t right, it didn’t feel right.
Later I had emailed HR asking to meet and talk about what happened.
I scheduled a meeting with Olivia Harris, which for some reason was at the local coffee shop rather than in her office.
I was so nervous. I had written so many notes on this little pad of paper and had ripped them out of the notebook so I could take it with me. I remember fumbling my words when I saw her, my hands shaking and just getting lost in all of the notes and where to begin.
She tried to tell me that they had a meeting and both my room lead and Luke had explained I couldn’t use maya and there wasn’t any more work for the project.
I pleaded with her, telling her everything I’ve told you now. Telling her that I can use this program and there is endless proof of it. Examples of how I was treated, when, what, where, why. How I was touched and how Luke handled it. That me being fired had nothing to do with my skills or ability to get the job done. That this was some odd sort of cover up, or it had something to do with Luke. I don’t even know anymore. But none of this felt right.
She had made me feel somewhat listened to at the time, and promised me she would get to the bottom of this and get back to me.
Weeks passed and I heard nothing.
I emailed her checking in to ask for any updates, and I was met with a shocking reply.
A woman. A woman in HR who I thought I could trust and rely on, completely swept everything under the carpet. Not only that but made me feel it was justified and reasonable. That maybe I was just crazy.
I shook in fear in front of this woman, trying my best to gather myself while I confided in her for help not only because I was treated completely inappropriately, not only because I was touched in an extremely uncomfortable way, but also because of the reaction and response to this entire situation.
Weta Workshop’s HR was not there for their colleagues. My harsh lesson I learned that day, was that they are there for the company.
The easiest solution was to fire the young, replaceable, ‘low in skill’ level junior artist, as opposed to handle a situation with a long term veteran employee. And he got away with it.
I’ve stayed quiet for five years now. With a bitter outlook on such a beautiful place.
I wanted to reach out to Richard Taylor so many times and write him a letter. I wanted to tell someone, anyone what had happened and be honest. I wanted to know if how I was treated was normal, if it really was just all me.
Richard Taylor was always kind and respectful to me. In fact in many ways he helped me through a lot of difficult times and was open to having conversations with me whenever I had questions. I want to be sure to highlight that Richard has nothing to do with this at all, and in some ways I wish I had confided in him when this was happening. I should have but I didn't want to burden him.
I had gotten word that a handful of people spoke out to HR about Luke and what happened..but nothing changed. Nothing happened. And time went on like nothing.
I feel bitter towards large companies because not only have they taught us that men in power who have been working there for years are invincible, but you, are replaceable.
20 years is no excuse to treat women inappropriately.
I no longer feel the love and wonder I once felt towards Weta, and I never will.
Weta taught me to fear men (more than I already do), and no longer trust in my fellow women as they too will remain complicit to protect themselves.
There are many other incidents I have left out regarding Luke, but honestly, it's more of the same and at the risk of repeating myself, I think this is enough.
I’m not writing this for any other reason other than to share my story, and to finally offload something that has bothered me for years. I don’t need anything from anyone or anything from Weta Workshop, I just want people to know that even in a place as magical as this- there is mistreatment of women, sexism, and a strong feeling of isolation.
I’m not sure how any company expects to flourish and grow, when they don’t nurture not only new artists, but women.
We’re supposed to be equals and when I was there, I was definitely not treated equally.