Regarding my previous post. Sorry if this is mumbo jumbo
I started dating a “famous” youtuber back in 2018. His friend Droidd had followed me on Instagram and Dm me to play overwatch with him and I agreed. It started out as me and droidd and we would just duo and then one day he invited me to join an Xbox lobby where I met lui. They told me droidd was bragging about playing with a hot girl with a big butt so lui told them to inv her (me). I joined the party and everything seemed very chill and we were all cracking jokes. Feo (droidds little brother) started complaining asking why lui doesn’t follow him And lui just laughed and told me to check my followers. Lui had followed me (only to unfollow a few moments later) and DM me saying “hey feo” From then on we started talking more and more. We only talked through Xbox live chat, Skype calls, or snapchat. I was never allowed to save chats or else he would yell at me and call me suspicious. Lui told me a few weeks later he liked me and would always tell me all these great things that could be me and him. (I just want to state I was 18 yrs old and he was 30 something)) I was young, fresh out of Highschool, just started college and he would constantly take advantage of my naivety and my lack of experience in relationships. This whole relationship was kept a secret as well because he didn't want anyone to know.
At the start nothing seemed out of place, I thought he was a great man and I continued to think that even though he constantly gaslighted me and was toxic. I remember our first fight was when we were playing fortnite with his friend group and I made a joke, after I said the joke he started yelling at me telling me how I was super fucking dumb and not funny, he kept repeating this until I just ended up muting my mic and cried. He would repeat this daily until I just stopped talking in his parties all together. Everytime I would use a “big word” he would yell at me and tell me to stop trying to sound smart and that actual smart people don’t use big words to explain things. There were so many red flags but I would never complain and just cry silently because I really started to believe I was just dumb and young. Everytime I went out with a friend he had to know where I was going, who I was going with ( I had to send him their socials) and if I didn’t keep him updated on everything that was happening he would get upset with me. He would also get mad if I kept him updated and would joke about me to his friends how he was like my dad and then turn around and yell at me. I would just think to myself that I couldn’t do anything right and that lui was right.
Lui would always brag about how famous he was, how smart he was, how funny he was and how much money he had. I never asked him for anything, not once during the relationship but he would always brag about those things. We were long distance and I was a poor college student working a waitressing job and would occasionally stream on twitch, yet even though I was so poor and working minimum wage I would fly out to see him almost every other month paying for everything out of my pocket. The only time he paid for something was a hotel the first time I went to see him. We would also never eat out, we would only eat McDonald’s or chick fil a or I would uber eats us food. Now I’m not complaining that he didn’t spend his money on me, I’m angry that even though he knew I was poor yet I still payed the hundreds of dollars for plane tickets and Uber’s to his place also food because he had none at his place but he would still brag to me about how he had a lot of money. At one point I was even working three jobs just to pay for everything.
Lui was the definition of a toxic relationship, Everytime I attempted to get close to someone or make a friend he would feed me these ideas about how I couldn’t trust them and that he was the only person I could rely on. He made it so I had nobody in my life but him. It was really hard to break out of this too until I met bellz and she was the person who helped me out.
One thing that would make me uncomfortable was how Lui always compared me to other girls, especially his ex’s saying I wasn’t as pretty as them or as smart as them. He would compare them to me all the time to the point I really thought they were better then me and that I was actually ugly/dumb and that Lui was lowering himself for me. He would always tell me stories about all the girls he's talked to and things they did that he didn't like about them so I wouldn't do the same. It only made me think he also talked about me in the same way. Lui would also always comment on other girls posts saying things like “babe you're so cute” “can we start dating yet” which made me very uncomfortable and I would tell him that only for him to tell me “that was his personality and that he does that with everyone.” He would also always yell at me if I dressed in clothing too tight or too revealing and get mad if I posted in anything of the sort but he would always compare me to the girls who did post pics and ask why I couldnt be as hot as them.
Lui would also constantly ask me for nudes and to take videos which made me uncomfortable at first but he would tell me that this was normal in relationships and to not worry he would never share them. I soon thought it was the norm and it seemed to be the only thing that made him happy. There would be some days where I didnt want to have sex and would tell him no but he would try and push himself onto me and I would just take it in silence and then cry in bed. It was a terrible feeling. That someone who i should trust would not value my no.
With one ex in particular he had a secret child with and would have his mom constantly over taking care of her. When i was there it didn't seem like lui did much for her. I would end up waking up really early to watch the child while he was asleep and throughout the day as he played fortnite with his friends. I would watch his baby for maybe 8+ hours a day by myself. He would always complain about how his ex was a bad mom and how the baby would have diaper rashes and sometimes little bruises but what child doesn't fall (babies are clumsy) and occasionally get diaper rash? He would also only feed the chil Chick fil a and fast food. I was there for 3 weeks and not once did I see that baby get a proper meal which really turned me off. Lui was treating his own mother like a babysitter while he gamed. One time I didnt wash my hands before changing his babies diaper and he yelled at me for maybe 2 hours straight telling me how terrible of a human I was and then he threatened to break up with me. It just didn't sit right with me.
Towards the end of our relationship I started talking to someone else who actually treated me kindly and with respect (no, it wasn't eugene) and I tried several times to end things with lui only for him to record our conversations and threaten me to end my career and life on social media because he would have his fans attack me for “cheating” on him even though we never established an exclusive relationship. This was right before twitch con and I saw the guy I was seeing and told lui that I wanted to end things with him because I liked this other guy and not him anymore. He then threatened me saying how I couldnt leave or else he's going to tell Keemstar I cheated on him and they were going to ruin me. During this time bells was with me and without her I don't think I would have been able to leave. Lui fabricated calls with keemstar and would call me playing a keemstar video in the background making it seem like they were talking about me. Lu also made fake DMs of the guy I liked where the fake dms said that I had ugly buck teeth and I was a butterface. This scarred me and I would never smile) I was scared and didn't know what to do. I didn't want his fans attacking me for something I never did. I blocked him multiple times only for him to find ways to contact me threatening me to add him back. I did for a little and I just started to ignore everything he would say to me and I think he eventually got bored of me and moved on. I still have him blocked because of how much mental damage he gave me.. I cried almost every single night thinking I was some kind of Dumb, Ugly, villain but I realized I was the victim.
From what I know he's done this to multiple young girls where I just consider it grooming now and I really hope he does this to no one else. A man who is over 30 should not be trying to have relationships with girls who have just turned 18. I dealt with this emotional abuse for almost a year and it has since scarred me. I reached out to a close friend of mine and his and was told he is still doing this. I know some people wont believe me that he did this since I no longer have proof because I blocked him on the apps we talked on but any of my friends who were there for this could attest for me.