Over the past couple days, many women have been so strong to share their stories of abuse and trauma that they have experienced in this industry. I have mentioned that I, too, have a story and that I was not ready to talk about it yet, if ever. But I think people need to know even if I'm scared. This is the story about the relationship I had with TheAznInvasionX.

Before I start, I want to say that I know I was in a consensual relationship with Thien. Because I pursued him, I was blaming myself for being in the situation. I realize now that being with someone doesn't excuse and warrant emotional abuse.

(This is incredibly long I know, the most important part are the screenshots if you can't read it all)

I first met Thien at Twitchcon 2018 through some mutual friends but we didn't talk much (or at all from my recollection) after the convention. It wasn't until Summit 2019 that I was more familiar with him as we had a similar group and got a little closer. We followed each other and occasionally visited eachothers' stream but it was still more-so acquaintances than anything until September 2019 when I became single. He messaged me five days after I announced my break up officially. He replied to an Instagram story of mine saying he would "date me in a heartbeat" and that he liked me, which at the time because I was in a vulnerable state, I took as flattering. He also that day offered to pay for my flight to Twitchcon and stay with him. I thought it was a very generous offer but didn't think I could ever actually take him up on it.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/Wma9Mhi.png

On September 12th, he asked me if I would video chat with him. I didn't know why, when I didn't know him very well, that he would ask me to? We just hung out and chatted but I honestly felt very awkward, again, because I didn't know him very well yet. The day after that, he told me he had feelings for me. We still barely really knew each other and I had just gotten out of a relationship so I didn't know how to respond. I didn't realize how naive I was.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/ZUsQ8MX.png

We became close pretty rapidly over the next few days. It was a week of us talking daily when I had a couple drinks and got drunk. We hung out and after the video call was ended, the conversation ended up taking a turn to a sexual subject matter. He sent me multiple suggestive gifs and I went with it which isn't a typical characteristic of mine.

On the 19th (the next day), he started doing research on flights to bring me to Twitchcon. I was still on the fence since it was a huge offer and felt like it was way too generous. He insisted it was okay though so I made sure I could take the time off of work and we made plans. He booked the flight for me the next day, a week before the convention.

I flew out to San Diego on September 27th. I met up with him at the Bnb and we went upstairs to his room, where I was staying. I was wanting to take a nap since I didn't sleep all night or on the flight, but I didn't end up sleeping from all my nerves and excitement. We laid in the bed and things quickly escalated. From our conversations, I expected it might happen as I'm sure he did too. What I didn't know until we got there that he did not bring protection. It happened anyway, but I told him that if it was going to happen again, he had to go get some. At no point in the trip did he do that. During the trip, I thought it was accidental and he must have just forgotten. Looking back now, I feel that it was intentional (throughout the relationship he refused to ever use a condom). He also guilted me to give him a blowjob before leaving to go to dinner one night even though we had to get going. He refused to leave until I did it and we ended up late to dinner.

Things were okay for a little while but pretty fast into the relationship, there were constant fights that he would pick with me and it became incredibly stressful. I'm going to explain the ones I can remember the most in the order they happened.

He was always very pushy for me to send nudes and inappropriate photos but it especially made me feel uncomfortable when he requested them while I was at work.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/wjqA1DP.png

In general, he was always trying to get me to be sexual with him. Although we were intimate in person, I'm not someone who feels comfortable at all engaging in sex via video chat. He did not respect that and shamed me for not feeling comfortable. It felt like I had an obligation to "fulfill his needs" and it was my responsibility to get him off. There were multiple times in the relationship where he said that I was neglecting him for not doing so.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/meE3Yzp.png

In December, I had a friend who wanted to call me and chat since we hadn't talked in a while (and he had some news for me). I told Thien that I was planning on talking for a bit but after a while, he became really agitated. Because I was listening to my friend talk and I was concentrating (I can't concentrate on two things at once), so I wasn't constantly messaging Thien. At a point, he told me I abandoned him and said that I should just tell my friend I have to call my dad to talk to him instead.
Screenshots: https://i.imgur.com/GQ5I9NI.png

On December 27th, I flew out to New York to visit Thien. The visit went well until a week in. I started experiencing some pain in my abdomen. It was slight at first but became excruciating very quickly. Over the first few days of the new year, I was unable to walk without feeling pain. I was not able to use the bathroom. I was not able to even adjust myself while laying in bed anymore. We had to cancel all of the plans we had for the rest of the trip. The pain was so bad I felt nauseous too and couldn’t eat anymore. There were a couple days that I couldn’t even drink water because I was throwing absolutely everything up. I was planning to wait it out until I could get home to Canada to see a doctor but it got so bad that Thien decided to bring me to the Emergency Room. We spent nine hours in the hospital while they did tests. I left the hospital finding out that I now have an infection (and later found out, a $5000 bill that I am in debt to) While we were laying in bed one morning as well, we were talking about just the subject of sex and consent. He said to me that he doesn't think he should have to ask for consent because "Stopping to ask 'Do you want to have sex?' feels like you're a robot." I argued it but he didn't change his mind on it. He also said that being in a relationship, he feels like he *needs* to have sex daily, if not more. I told him that isn't realistic and for most relationships (at least the ones I have been in), that isn't normal.

In February, I went to lay down one night and was browsing on my phone. I didn't plan to fall asleep but I did. He blew up on me for not communicating with him that I was going to bed and said that I disappeared. It was a regular occurance that he had been getting angry at me for different reasons and although I was always bad at communication, I began to draw back even more. I ended up going silent because I couldn't take it and took the day to myself for my mental health.
Screenshot: https://i.imgur.com/FPSFx8R.png

And also sent me this (he had a habit of attacking me for not responding to his messages instantly whether or not I was working or busy to the point where I had to turn active status or appear offline on all of my applications): https://imgur.com/Rt3gqMH.png

I have a friend that compliments me sometimes and Thien got upset over it. He told me that I had to have a "talk" with my friend even though I don't personally have an issue with it.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/ToXlPEi.png

Valentine's Day is one of the days that I remember the most. We made plans to hang out and watch a movie together. He (like many times) pressured me to get naked and touch myself on video for him. I told him like before that I wasn't comfortable with doing that but he threatened to end the relationship if I didn't. I felt so hurt the way he was treating me and I have a recording of a portion of our call that night. For obvious reasons, I won't be sharing the actual video but I will share some things he had said to me.
He guilted me for not giving him a blowjob while I was in pain on our trip (when I couldn't even move in bed without hurting).
He asked what was going to happen while we were going to be at the Summit this year- "It'll happen, what, one time?" (It's a trip to go visit a Children's Hospital for fundraising for charity)
He asked me what I wanted to do so I said "I don't know, I don't want to break up but I feel like you do" He replied with "What are you going to do that's going to change my mind? What's going to change?"
He told me "Whatever happens the next time this comes up, that'll decide it" and "Next time this happens and it doesn't change, yea I am going to break up with you"
We ended up just watching the movie and then afterwards, out of guilt, I did what he was wanting me to do
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/41WItIk.png

On February 17, he lashed out on me while I was streaming because I was not messaging him.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/sWSYAGg.png

On February 18, he got mad that I went out for coffee with a friend. It was okay at first but since I was out for four hours (we were catching up since we hadn't talked in a while), he didn't find that okay. This was one of the first times I left the house for months other than work since he had gotten upset at me before about being out, even going to a dinner for my brother because I wasn't home by a certain time.

On February 20, he guilted me about a gift he got for me. He bought me Animal Crossing but because it means a lot to me, I told him that although I appreciate the sentiment, I would prefer a physical copy but that didn't mean I was ungrateful.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/TSmvZlW.png

On February 25, he got angry at me for not messaging him... while I was at work.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/x1NS09u.png

On March 13, I was out with my mom and her husband since they were in town visiting. Thien got angry that I wasn't messaging him. I told him I wasn't because I was busy- I was walking about downtown and getting lunch with my family, I'm not one to use my phone very often when I'm spending time with someone because it feels rude. This is when he said he was breaking up with me. Usually, I would have fought it. But at this moment I couldn't do it anymore and accepted it.
Screenshots: https://imgur.com/wUul0sj.png https://imgur.com/JQEJJ95.png

The day after, we talked about the situation more and whether this was what we wanted and honestly explained generally how I was feeling at the time.
Screenshot: https://imgur.com/Pp41H2c.png

On March 16, without asking he just decided to send me $150 to help with groceries (that’s what he references that in the next screenshots)

Over the next week, we talked here and there but not a ton. He told me he missed me a lot and asked me if I would consider getting back together. He told me that there was a final notice for the hospital bill (it went to his address) and told me I had to take care of it since I was planning to see if my travel insurance through work would cover it. I told him I would make the call. On March 20, the day I was planning on calling, I decided against it since I was having worse anxiety than usual and was going to do it the next day. I didn't tell Thien because I was scared of how he would react. I decided to stream instead. That set him off and he came into my stream, said some nasty things in chat before I banned him. The next screenshots are the worst messages I received from him in the time that I knew him. I had to end stream and I called my mom from having a complete mental breakdown over the things that were said.
Screenshots: https://imgur.com/WFM5lQC.png https://imgur.com/Yym0Ws7.png https://imgur.com/q622OGa.png

He apologized the next day and told me he purposely said everything he could to hurt me. He also paid the $500 physician bill that was due which I did appreciate.

There is so much more that I didn't even get into. Other fights between all of the situations I already mentioned. I suffered in silence through manipulative, controlling, sexually and emotionally abusive behaviours for months. It caused me constant stress and dwindled my mental health. I am still healing from this and will be trauma that I carry with me for the rest of my life.

Talking about this for everyone to see is absolutely terrifying. I almost didn’t. But I am not sharing my story to be vengeful. I am sharing my story for the sole reason that I do not want any other women to fall into this. Ever since the relationship ended, I have been worrying constantly about the next woman. I was so naive and I do not want this for anyone else. No one else should have to go through everything I did with him.

If you also shared your story, I want you to know you're strong and I love you. We're going to be okay. Thank you so much for listening to me.

Reply · Report Post