About my ex-boyfriend

I'm so very sad that Lorien experienced what she did. I believe her completely. It wouldn't surprise me if this happened when I was dating him. We officially ended everything in (august?) 2016. He cheated on me (a couple times that I even know about) and made me feel like complete shit during our relationship. He's abusive and manipulative. He told me I wouldn't be where I was without him. He told me I was riding on his coattails. He's called me a cunt and whore for having guy friends. He was extremely jealous. I broke up with him after the first 6 months of dating him because he was so jealous and it became overbearing. I got back together with him though, because I was naive and believed he would be better. During this month period when we were apart, I had a short relationship with my now fiance, Scott. I broke things off with Scott because I wasn't thinking clearly. It was too soon to be with someone else so we parted ways. I made a mistake there, one that Scott and I patched up later on and we became friends again eventually. I got back with witwix shortly after this because he begged me to take him back and told me he would change. Like, he drove to my parents house and was at our doorstep. I felt like, at the time, that spoke volumes on how much I meant to him. I really believed he would change. Little did I know, the next year and a half would be absolutely horrible.

Fast forward to 2016 when he cheated on me. He told me it was like a scoreboard and I had one tally for being with Scott WHEN WE WERE BROKEN UP. And he had to get even so it would make him feel better. He actually said this to me in the living room. I was so in love with him that I just couldn't let go. He tried to turn it on me and say it was my fault that it was happening. The relationship was so toxic, and my friends could all see that but I was too blind.

He ended things with me 2 days before twitchcon. I think a lot of people remember that. I was a very sad and depressed mess when I was there. Because he was there with the girl (who had no idea that we weren't broken up the previous month when they started talking, so no blame is placed on her at all whatsoever). And it hurt so much. Whenever he was alone, he loved to see me, but otherwise he was cold towards me. I remember one of my friends approached me at a party and talked to me for a while and my ex, while with the girl he cheated on me with, sent me messages about how I was so ready to move on so soon. The guy was just my friend. I have never had my heart broken so badly. Being so insecure at the time, I kept thinking it was all my fault. That maybe if I was a better girlfriend to him somehow, he wouldn't have left me.

I had a talk with the girl he was talking to after twitchcon. I DM'd her and wondered if she even knew about me, and she told me that he told her that we broke up a month prior before PAX. She ended things with him and made him fly into a rage. He started screaming at my face that I was a cunt for talking to her, that I was nothing and will never be anything. He kept saying to move out right that second, and that he was going to throw all my shit out of the house.

And then he started shaking me while yelling me and then pushed me.

That's when I woke up. That's when I lost love and respect for him. I moved out very shortly after that. For a bit afterward, I was harassed a lot by some shit people in his community, saying that I was only with him for money, calling me a gold digger, etc. When I started dating him, I was actually a bigger streamer than him myself. I wasn't interested in his money. I thought he was funny and charismatic. Over time I learned how insecure he was, how he would constantly bash other streamers that played the same games as him or got more viewers than him. I was afraid to tell people what happened because he's a bigger streamer. I always kept silent about it. Now that Lorien said he made unwanted advances on her, I want to add my side of the story in what kind of relationship we had. A horrible and very toxic one where I kept stupidly forgiving him.

I also want to add...I didn't think about how serious this one incident with him was until much later on (after we stopped talking) but close to the end of our relationship, he got extremely drunk one night (I was drunk too, but not nearly as drunk as him. I still remember all of this clearly) and kept putting himself on me saying he wanted to have sex. I kept telling him I didn't want to, I didn't even want to look at him. He put his hand in my pants and was almost crying at me to let him. He kept kissing my neck and pressured me into it, even after saying I didn't feel like it a dozen times. I eventually gave up fighting him putting himself on me and just let him do it.

I eventually got back together with Scott, and I remember witwix texting me a bunch saying he wanted me back so badly. Like I was HIS property or something. He couldn't stand the thought of me being with someone else.

It's been years since I've said anything to him. The very mention of his name makes me absolutely sick. I even hate typing his name. He put me through so much.

I support you Lorien. You're so brave for coming forward.

Witwix put me through abuse. Thank you for giving me the strength to finally say it.

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