I wrote about my experience about SCG Richmond this weekend. I recommend reading


I really want to put this experience behind me and use the energy I have left on testing for the upcoming GP I will be playing. I’m very tired and very depressed right now but I think explaining everything that happened this weekend might be a good thing. So here is my description of the events:

Round three of the open my opponent is very soft-spoken and I often do not hear him verbalize the changing of phases or the passing of his turn. So I have to pay more careful attention than normal so I am aware of everything he is doing.

He casts a Birth of Meletis turn two and passes with a full grip of cards. I ask how many cards he has in his hand and he says “seven.” I take his word for it and take my turn.

On my opponent’s next turn, he casts an Omen of the Sea on his main phase which gives away that he is likely digging for lands. He scries one card on top and one on bottom and draws. I am surprised when he passes without playing a land.

Because he misses a land drop, he has eight cards in his hand but does not discard. I ask how many cards he has in his hand (I already know he has eight) as a way to signal that he needs to discard. He discards a card after I have pointed this out to him. Because of this, I become a little suspicious of my opponent.

On my opponent’s next turn, he plays his third land and casts a Teferi, Time Raveler. Later in the turn, he plays another land. I inform him that he has already played his land for turn. He puts the land back in his hand but then says “wait, no. I was on the play” as a way to justify playing the second land. I inform him I specifically remember him missing a land drop the turn he cast Omen of the Sea.

I did not call a judge for this and I am aware now that this was a major mistake I will not make again. In the past I have had other opponents make illegal game actions such as playing an extra land and I did not call a judge because I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt; maybe it was an accident. Even now I want to give my opponent in this match the benefit of the doubt because it is possible that playing the extra land and not discarding to hand size was just an accident or “sloppy play” as this person would later describe it as. Because of the fact that there were two illegal actions on top of how quiet my opponent was throughout the match (in some cases he simply did not speak when moving phases or taking a game action) I do believe he was likely cheating intentionally. I can’t know for sure though because I did not want to be mean and call a judge if it actually was a genuine mistake. I believe by having these thoughts and not calling a judge in this situation, or any similar situation, I am giving opponents an opportunity to take advantage of me, whether or not it is intentional. This is an important point for me to make because of something else that happened later in the weekend I will explain later.

Back to the match, I lose our game 2 and we prepare for game 3. My opponent and I are the deciding match for our team and we both have our respective teammates on either side of us.

On one of the final turns of the game, I draw my card for the turn, making it so I have two cards in hand. One of the cards is a land, which I play. I subsequently have one card left over in hand. My opponent looks at the teammate on my left and says “she just played an extra land.”


“No I didn’t,” I say calmly. My opponent looks at his teammates and repeats, “she just played an extra land.” There is some back and forth about this and my teammates eventually tell him to call a judge if he is concerned I played an extra land. His face is reddening and he is about to call a judge when one of his teammates says, “she didn’t play an extra land.” He lets it go and we finish the match and I lose. I don’t really want to shake my opponent’s hand because of how uncomfortable the match was but I do so anyway.


I walk away with my teammates and one of them points out the fact that my opponent never addressed me during the exchange about believing I played an extra land. “It’s just another one of those examples of internalized sexism” he says to me, shaking his head. I’m feeling pretty demoralized by the experience and I’m kicking myself for not calling a a judge during the match. But I know that while I can call a judge to prevent an opponent from continuing to cheat, I’ll deal with microaggressions like the one during my match likely for my entire life.

I decided to write a twitter post about the experience because I felt the need to scream into the void about what had happened. It makes me feel a little better and I’m ready for the next round.

Just before the next round starts, my opponent comes up to me and gives me an apology. I cannot remember it verbatim but it was something close to: “Hey, I’m really sorry you felt that way, that wasn’t my intention.” I pause because I’m not entirely sure what he is apologizing for and it’s not exactly a great apology. But I’m eager to put the incident behind me and I accept his words. “I appreciate you apologizing,” I say to him and we walk off to our tables. Before starting to play, I went back to my twitter and posted about the apology I was given.

After the match I checked on my twitter and saw that my opponent had gone onto the original thread where I had written about my experience in our match and had written a number of insulting comments directed at me and others on the thread. I can see from the time stamps that he wrote the comments after apologizing to me in person.

A few hours go by and he continues to comment on my twitter thread increasingly offensive things all the while still playing in the main event. I’m feeling extremely uncomfortable and a little scared. One of my friends is a floor judge who saw the twitter thread and tells me I can speak to the staff about the player if I’m comfortable doing so. I decide to speak to the head of Star City Games organized play. They also consult with the head judge. I feel much better and a little safer after having talked to them and making them aware of the situation.


This next section is about another incident that took place Sunday at the Standard Classic.


On Sunday, I entered the Standard Classic. After the events of the previous day, I go into each match a little afraid of all my opponents. I’m constantly leery of being talked down to, cheated against, or just disrespected in some other way. I have to thicken my skin and just play Magic as best as I can. More than anything, though, I just want people to be nice to me so badly.

In the final round of the classic, my opponent and I agree to high roll to decide who goes first. He shakes the dice, puts his hand a few inches above the table, and tilts his palm so the dice fall out. It lands on a 6 and a 3. I feel a bit weird that my opponent tilted the dice in the way he did, especially considered one of the dice landed on a 6. I am used to letting things like this go or being too intimidated to tell my opponent why they did something I did not like. But I’m braver this time and I tell my opponent I would prefer a re-roll and explain the reasoning; tilting it out of your hand means you could potentially manipulate the dice to land in a certain way. He is flabbergasted. He asks me: “Do you REALLY think I’m trying to do that?” And truth be told, I don’t think he is. I doubt there’s anything fishy going on, I am sure they are a well-intentioned person and they just rolled dice a little too close to the table on pure accident.

But I’m done giving the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, the countless other opponents I’ve had who have tried to do something like manipulate dice (yes, I have had that happen before. No I didn’t feel confident enough to call a judge) or take advantage of me and my tendency to “give the benefit of the doubt” have ruined it for anyone else who is likely innocent. I am done giving anyone the opportunity to take advantage of me, INTENTIONAL OR NOT, and I do something I would never have done even one day prior: I call a judge.

The floor judge comes over and I explain what happened. “Just re-roll” the judge says. Someone near my opponent mutters something about appealing and my opponent, with more confidence than I’ve ever had at a magic event, says, “I want to appeal.”

The judge walks away and I feel myself shrinking into my chair. On either side of me there are players jeering about what has happened. “That’s got to be the wildest thing I’ve heard all day.” One says. I feel pinpricks of heat erupting over my face and I try to be strong and quell the feelings of fear, intimidation, embarrassment, and shame boiling up inside me. But I’m completely powerless and I know I’m about to start crying in front of all these people. They'll look at me and see a girl who started to cry because her opponent appealed a ruling; I'm just as weak as all the men around me expect me to be.

I try to get my opponent’s attention and maybe because my voice is barely there anymore, it takes a while before he notices me tapping his arm. I’m crying a lot now but I try to tell him I’m sorry and explain in fragmented words I’ve had a bad weekend of being taken advantage of, people hurting me, and he hadn’t done anything wrong. The head judge of the classic comes over just as I’m standing up and informing my opponent I’m conceding the match. And my boyfriend is here now too, asking what happened, while everyone around us is staring. My opponent is understandably shocked and unsure what to do.

I’m still standing at the table while the head judge tells me to try to calm down and step away to collect myself but I’m defeated at this point. “I’m sorry, but I’m just done. I’ve had horrible opponents this weekend. I’m just done.”

The head judge tries to convince me to not concede the match, as does my opponent. “I really would like to play” he says, and I can tell he feels bad. And I feel horrible he has been caught in the middle of this. I don't want to play more Magic, though, no matter what I am told. I want to leave.

I gather my things and move to a table nearby. I sit with my boyfriend and through my full on sobs, the events of the weekend and all the pain pour out of me. I can see he is trying to hold in his own tears as I tell him the terrible truth that as much as I love magic and how deep it is, I had no idea how I could play anymore. I sat down at every match during the classic like a scared dog; how could I go on? How could I focus on technical play, strategy, or combat when my thoughts are so defeatist?

The head judge of the classic and SCG rep discuss the situation with me over the course of the next hour. They do a wonderful job of helping me calm down and addressing the situation with me. I want to believe that when the people in charge are good allies, there is a lot of hope for an inclusive world and I shouldn’t stop playing Magic.

Next week is the Regional Pro Tour at Phoenix and I have been eager to go and see my friends, support my partner at his first Pro Tour, and of course dive into the Pioneer format. After we left the event hall Sunday, I asked my boyfriend how he would feel if I didn't go anymore. I didn't want to play, I didn't want to be full of anger and fear, I just wanted to go home and be far away. We are in the middle of an ice cream shop and I start to cry again.

I believe because I am a woman people are more likely to attempt to take advantage of me because of their personal bias against women at magic events. Or “internalized sexism” as another way to put it. Having this in mind, I will often expect people to attempt to take advantage of me or treat me like I don’t know how my cards work, which has caused me to become more rigid at magic events over time. One of the saddest parts about this is that I will often have opponents who are well-intentioned or genuinely kind but I have to be always skeptical of people’s intentions versus me. This is because even though not every person is being sexist, women are so used to sexism by others that they are not afforded the privilege of believing a person is well-intentioned every time. I’ve had so many opponents try to treat me like I’m new or unintelligent, why I should I assume my next opponent won’t do the same?

I want to end this on a high note, though, or I won't be able to come out of this situation very strong. I will be in Phoenix chasing LCQs and a trophy this week because as much as I can't imagine playing more Magic right now, I can't imagine quitting either. If you are playing an event too, remember it is incredibly easy to be nice to an opponent and you have no idea how far your kindness can go. People being kind to me this weekend meant everything to me. And most importantly, know that a person who is different from you has experienced things you may not be capable of understanding. Listen to them, believe them, and please let's make Magic a better and more inclusive place. I am begging you for your help

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