I’m sorry

Good evening EMGG Family, hype nation and friend

This isn’t going to be easy for me to write. Cus I’m gonna be completely honest with you. I’m not okay I’m far from it And this is the only way I know how to express my emotions rn. This will be extremely choppy and will go to different topics randomly . So bare with me thank you

As some of you already know i I struggle with very intense anxiety and depression issues. I honestly thought I was over it. Until recently as you may know I lost my job. A good paying job. A job that got me out a debt, help put a roof over my head, and let me support others in ways I could never before. Life was going really well for me. I had a beautiful girlfriend. My streams were growing at a fast rate . But it all just came crashing down honestly. I’ve struggled with suicide for some time now. My last attempt was during UGC Daytona a few years ago. Not that it matters. But the past couple of weeks the thoughts have come back into my head. I honestly don’t want to be around anymore . But I promise you that I am seeking help. For what it’s worth. But at the same time I really don’t want to get help. I’ve lived a good life I guess. Actually I lied. So there’s that. I recently tried to commit suicide. I had to re edit this so many fucking times this is so hard for me to write as I lay here. So sorry

My heart is torn to Pieces. I honestly thought that I was gonna Mary that girl. But some things are never meant to be. And know, this is not why I want to do this. So for all you people who may think that . Don’t

Anyways the point of this whole Point of this long message.. I am leaving EMGG and I’m done with streaming. For good. I’m sorry but my passion is gone. I thought this is what I wanted. I’ve been in the esports world for 10 years now. Competing in halo, owning a organization, and streaming. I started playing halo when I was 14 and starting going to tournaments when I was 18. Sadly the best placement I ever gotten was top 16 at UGC saint Louis. Top 12 in open bracket to make into pools. In my personal opinion I was more of a 1v1 player . And what I was mainly known for . Anyways . it was a big dream of mine to become something in this scene. I wanted to be the beacon of light for people. Someone they can go and watch and just be happy . And laugh .. I tasted it. you guys have given me one hell of a ride the last couple of months and I’m sorry that I’m letting you down . I’m sorry thats all I Really can say

For those of you that will be sad or upset about my decision. I’m sorry. Just know that I will always love you guys.

To all my friends that I made over the past 10 years . I hope you all continue with your success and find what you are looking for

For everything that was apart of my community I’m sorry for letting you down. And quitting

And for my EMGG family. You all will be on the top of the world in no time. Unfortunately I will no longer be apart of it. If I someone end up alive after all this pain I’m dealing. I hope you guys can find it in your heart to forgive my actions and my depression .

Goodbye friends. This will be my final message on this earth. I love you all so much. Keep being amazing people. 💔

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