k1llsen · @k1llsen

5th Nov 2019 from TwitLonger

you are "THE CHAMP" - champ doesnt need practice, i do!

Before we getting started, really want to thank you guys for Supporting and believing in me...
sadly it was me losing hope at the end, but i really tried and i will tell you how hard i tried.
Even with all the connection issues i had in the process of preparing for this Event, i felt actually really good going into this event i knew we have to wake up early so i did 2 weeks before and also had my prac time overall going 3-5h at least per day, but all of this wassnt enough to go into the tournament pretty cold, i really need some warmup going on to get my feeling, if i'd knew that i wont be able to get some warmup going before the tournament, i would have added 1-2h each day to maybe be able to compensate.

before i played the match vs Vengeur i was able to at least get 7 maps in 2.5 days
3 maps on day 1
4 maps during day 2
solid warmup time :D

It is totally fine with me to wake up early and be early at the event
It is totally fine with me to wait a bit until i can prac some

It's not ok for me to wait from 8am until 5pm to be able to setup (day1)
It's not ok for me to have to play with bots as warmup (day1, day2)

on top of this i couldnt even leave the event because we only had shuttle to bring in the morning and being picked up when its all over. It all comes down to being in the last Quarter Matchup, so i've been the last Person to get onto a PC, because there were only 12 in the beginning. It's ok being in that Position to wait some, but not when everyone else is already playing for HOURS before they had to play. And this pretty much broke my neck, since when i got onto a pc close to the evening no one wanted to play anymore i managed to have 3 maps with nosfa at least and 2 maps vs bots. but ye wouldnt call this a solid warmup :D

on day 2 i managed to get a pc very quick, but people not been seeking anymore for a lot of practice cause they all did a lot the day before, luckily i got cypher to play 4 maps and bots also been ready for another 2 maps :D and this pretty much was my prep before the tournament started for me. I can't explain how i managed to win my quarter matchup, but it actually took all of my stamina i had left, after waiting another 8 hours for my match to start. Not sure if you ever had to wait a couple of hours at the same place for something, its ok for me to wait a couple, but not all day long, especially while all others are getting ready.

After the match vs Vengeur i told em about it that this event pretty much gets into my list of worst tournaments, because of all the time i had to wait and all i got as reply was "You are the Champ" i think that was just the moment my head went striking or something :D

So ye in the match with Cooller i tried to pickup times of the items watched the timer knew ok next is XX:XX but only 2 seconds after the timing just slipped away and i tried it multiple times during the match, so after map 2 i felt like giving up typing ggs, but then i was thinking "na you to professional for this" lets play trough it, so i did. He played really well no doubt and maybe even if i'd played on a normal level i would have lost, its alright, its even alright for me to have lost this way because i know the reasons and it wassnt up to me this time. I hope it's up to me next time again.

And this is pretty much how the Event was for me, i also didnt meant to not handshake with coollerz, i just had 1 person in my mind and was pretty angry after the match, i didnt meant to disrespect anyone - you are following me for years and you know how i roll! i gave him a big handshake when he won and some words. and here again GZ Anton i'm fine with your name on my belt KAPPA, BUT we are HISTORY so will be the belt!

BUT really guys... we shouldnt fight each other and instead help each other, everything happens for a reason at some points. i never refused a loss/win handshake over my career and i do respect every single person since the very beginning, i'm being honest and direct at any given time especially to you guys, i might change a bit now getting a little more distance of you and focus more on myself again instead. But still i wont forget about you and do still love you guys for everything we went trough! And hope we will be ready for the next challenge TOGETHER again!

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