MentalistC | FNATIC · @MentalistC_
2nd Sep 2019 from TwitLonger
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Hello, honestly I have no idea how to start this, but here we go. The events in the past week forced to confront some really difficult choices, and I apologize for not being able to hide the heavy weight, and perhaps the selfishness of this twitlonger.
Siege has been a huge part of my life, despite me constantly saying the game is shit, I regret none of the 3++ years I spent playing it. From getting forced into Envy by sheer dumb luck in Year 0 to actually playing PL this year with Aero, with all the members, I enjoyed every second of it.
This year, I have been juggling heavy academic responsibilities in rigorous Singaporean high school and playing at the same time. At last, my already weak health conditions worsened with lack of sleep, stress, etc... In order to ensure my physical and mental health, it was originally agreed with my parents that I would take a year off school in 2020, and see how full time gaming works out.
However, in the past week, I was informed that my father, whose work got us to live in Singapore in the first place, is getting moved to another country. This means my family will lose the status here in Singapore, unless I continue my study and obtain a students permit. It was that or being forced to go back to China. This change simply ruins the previous plan.
The workload of high school leading to A-level examination in Singapore is ridiculously high. My family thinks to juggle that with PL (where the competition is already rising fast), is impractical and greedy: In the end I will achieve nothing in both fields, and ruining my health even further in the process. As much as I want to say:”No, I will do well in both”, it is a faraway dream.
I am willing to go full time for siege and drop out of school. But with Singapore’s mandatory 2 year military service ahead of Hysterix and Speakeasy, and other members having external commitments knocking at their door, the whole team going full time proved to be impossible. Weighing the opportunity cost, going full time under Aero felt impractical...
After a week+ of discussion with my parents, teachers and consultants in school, weighing all the factors I could physically think of, we decided to quit playing siege professionally and focus on studying next year. I have to agree with their viewpoint given the circumstance, despite part of me desperately wanting, urging me to push on.
Therefore, Japan this year might be my final season.
I wish to apologize to my teammates, that at the most crucial timing, I could not push on with them due to personal selfish reasons... They are all great players with insane individual skills, and I believe given the opportunity (perhaps outside of Singapore’s system), and having put in the hard work, they can break through the bottleneck we are at right now and achieve new heights. Unfortunately, due to unfortunate circumstances, and perhaps my weaknesses and lack of resolve, I will not be able to join yall on this quest.
I am sorry.
This is not to say I am gone for good. I fucking love siege, I fucking love competing, I want that W as much as the next pro’s gonna tell you. If situations changes, solutions are found regarding my dilemma , I will dive back in at minutes notice. At the very least I will look to play at this level again once school pressure settles down...
I wish to thank all those who supported, believed, concerned for me. Parents, teammates, friends (sometimes opponents), teachers, and so much more... I would be nowhere without you guys.
Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. I believe that one makes his own luck. To all those who managed to read this far, Good Luck, and see you next time.