Past/current situations and my opinions.
I am not sure where to really start with this as there are many different
things that could be raised during this past year regarding the situation but I don't think many are as important as the things that in my opinion I believe made the rosters over the past year not gel properly, its unfortunate that things happened the way they did but I believe there is some significant reasons why it did not work. I honestly believe it just comes down to
different ideologies between individuals on how to approach the game, how to work together as a unit and progress together utilizing our players strengths rather than adapting to cater for certain weaknesses and roles in players including myself.
I would like to start by saying I have always been confident in my ability and thought of myself as an above average player who was and I believe still is capable of being a force to be reckoned with. I have always accepted that the teams I would be joining have a main awper and was always happy to 2nd awp/hybrid but unfortunately this wasn't the case with the majority
of my time with this team and as of late the different philosophies and ideologies on how to approach the game working with what you have and is different with every individual. I would hope that there is no bad blood towards me after writing this as its the last thing I want to get out of this. I would just like to explain the situation and why I think things did not
go well from the beginning for me as an individual but also the team in general for the past year.
Towards the beginning of joining coL I was brought in as a support/anchor rifler but also dedicated entry fragger which took me a very long time to adjust and with that over the first 3-4 months my position was always changed to the point where I felt like I lost my identity as a player many times. Things got better as time went on for me but unfortunately I feel like we always focused on the negatives and peoples mistakes too much rather than the positives and what we can do to utilize peoples strengths to get the most out of our team and I feel this happened throughout all of the changes this team has gone through.
I would like to focus mainly on the past few months with this team after stanislaw parted ways with the team. Again I am not blaming anyone for the troubles that we have gone through and the inconsistencies of our progression as a team as I believe it honestly comes down to different ideologies and ways of how to approach the game. One of my biggest issues that
I would like to raise is that I was only allowed to 2nd awp if the opposing team dropped one for me to pick up and the current idea behind this is that buying a 2nd awp as CT changes the dynamic of the round and it was believed that people weren't used to playing around two awps enough and it being inconsistent/not the way we are practicing to the point where its detrimental to the team and preferring a rifle and maybe more utility instead.
I do not think this way and it definitely clashed with individuals in the team again due to different thoughts on how to approach the game. It got to the point where I would say I am buying an awp and I was 90% of the time met with no please don't we aren't practicing this way even after being given the 2nd awp role. This kind of killed me inside for a long time to the point where as of late I would just not listen and buy it anyway and I know for a fact it made certain people really uncomfortable. This also happened in officials mainly in the last major but it was always in the back of my head that if i do this people will be pissed so I would say more than 80% of the time I refrained from buying a 2nd awp due to the team wanting to play a certain way which in my opinion wasn't working after a few months of testing.
I have always wanted to bring my biggest strengths into a team but this is clearly not what was needed of me. I was tasked with roles that the team thought they were missing and I understood and accepted what was given to me. Unfortunately when it comes to a point where we are not producing results over many months it comes back to "who is playing the worst statistically" and I hate the way that this gets thrown around in the community but it is also somewhat important in the way that if you cant hold your own in the server it starts becoming detrimental to your career as an individual if the team isn't producing decent results. With that being said it is important to look after yourself as a player while also making sure you acknowledge and subscribe to the teams way of approaching the game.
I was more than happy to fulfill this task and try my hardest to improve in the roles I was given but as time went on and results were constantly below average, it was clear that I wasn't the right fit for what the team was trying to achieve, to the point where it heavily affected my mentality during the later stages, playing a certain way I did not believe was
working. I felt like we kept beating a dead horse focusing too much on the negatives in many of our practice sessions and not willing to try some different approaches and ideas brought in by players.
In no way did I think me awping constantly would make us win games. At the end of the day it was more than that. Another really important note was that the way we practiced barely involved scaling routes and dedicated entry players and this is another reason I feel we were very inconsistent. It sucks to say it but I was told many times if you run in selflessly people will
see that and follow you and I subscribed to this for a very long time and it clearly affected me mentally. I feel like many of these things could have been avoided and easily fixed with being shown exact roles in strats and scaling but unfortunately the way we decided to approach the game it was simply not enough. We had strategies based on dedicated roles and scaling but
nowhere near enough in my opinion. We would always lean to a certain way of playing and I felt like there was no balance or we would drop the other way when you technically need both.
As this is already beginning to be a way too long TLDR I would like to close out with another important note that none of this is complexity's or the players fault. I always have believed and still do believe they are by far one of the best organisations I have played in catering to everything a player needs to be successful and I have always supported what they
have tried to build here and want to continue doing so regardless of my situation if I am kept on the roster or not.
This is not my "i'm quitting" thread in fact that is the last thing I want to do even though I have had many thoughts about our situation it always comes back to I want to keep trying my best and to be in a team that builds good natural chemistry and positive vibes. In addition to everything said I definitely believe we were not given enough time with this roster to try and make things better but from an organisations stand point its understandable that changes need to be made.
Regardless of what happens to this roster and myself as it is currently unknown. I would like to wish all the best to the the guys moving forward and good luck in the future no matter where the road takes us.
I hope this can clear up some of the issues not only that I had but also what the team was going through and no matter what happens, looking forward to the future. All the best!