BB Sala

Last night I was kicked from Salamander's main lineup because of personal problems and missunderstanding.

Im trying to hold it together, but deeply im so pissed off and sad. It is so unprofessional in so many ways. I think we were heading the perfect way, did so many scrims and practice, did beat really good teams, everybody told us this is the chance for challanger league. Then this happened. From one day to another I got kicked behind my back because two players said they can't play with me anymore.
I dedicated almost all of my free time to this. Meanwhile this isn't a full time job for me, I have a full-time job, me and my girlfriend moved together, etc. I feel I was still consistent as much as i could be in a support role, I was forced into. I can tell i wasn't a support player before, but somebody had to take it, so I got it. (One funny aspect of the personal reason was that i usually forgot to pick up defuser in pick phase LOL?!) Sometimes it was like blaming the lost round on me, and it was unfair so many times. The only thing that triggers me is unjust blaming, when somebody blames shit on you and pretending he is not doing mistakes. Im not saying i didnt make any mistakes, but most of them was on scrims. On competitive matches i played so different.
I have a style that some player can't handle on the right place. It's unfortunate but whatev. When you have such a strong team u just try to put everything sideway and focus on winning and improving. Not taking any of my comment and advice seriously because the man "doesn't like me personally" is so unprofessional, it's so cheap.

The most painful aspect of my kicking was the man who I loved the most. Watching him changing was crucial for me because i couldn't do any. He was a so-called mental coach in my last team and I made him to come with me to salamander. In team plague he personal coached me almost daily. After moving to salamander it suddenly stopped. We got into a team with 5 equal skilled players and his most important task just disappeared. For me at least. He could just go in different room with others and tell them the mistakes and advices in private, telling them what to change. I got these in front of everybody because he knew im mentally strong and wont struggle that much but then got surprised when i was not in the mood. I get it I was overly favourable in Plague but this was something else, like I was handicapped. Couldn't win a single argument.

Yesterday the kick was in the air i think. Dropping comments on scrim like "Don't tell me how to play" and "Learn to play" was so demotivating and sad at the same time. After I left TS they just decided and our coach called me back to teamspeak. We were in a separated room while my teammates waited 1 room below while we talked. They couldn't say one straight word in my face. Didn't tell a single "goodbye" to me. Then kicked from the team chat too without words. Like this 3 months of grinding weren't there.

Maybe I deserve what I get, maybe not. Doesn't matter anymore.

Good luck to them anyway, and wish them the best in the future. To reach playing siege as a full-time job, reach their dreams what I can't make for a while, but maybe once.

Regards, Robza

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