Competitive ban situation
My feelings / thoughts on the current game state and riot games in general:
So for those who do not know what im talking about, i just received a 6-month competitive ban for extremely bad behaviour in soloQ. The situation really sucks for me, the team and organization. Again, im really sorry for that. I personally dont feel too sad about the ban, since i dont really enjoy the game that much anymore. I wasnt really playing soloQ for like a month or so, would just occasionally que up just to "practice" so i could be in a better shape for official matches. It was super unenjoyable and would take me to insane lengths of flame for people who were just ruining games or just inting/playing super bad, which in the current soloQ state is every 2nd game or so. Im not trying to justify my actions with some random excuses, I definitely think I should be banned from competitive play and fully agree with the decision that Riot Games made. For me its just funny how this multi-million company cant fix simple problems in the game not even mentioning the issues with soloQ, but the bugs, login/lag/fps issues, mmr/lp gains and even the toxicity in soloQ from non-pro's and pro's. The punishing system is super random, wont talk about it or go into details on that. But theres pro players that flame/act in such a way, that would not be acceptable in any league(if we are judging by the auto-ban system and saying that if u get 1 chat restrict you are unable to play). And not to mention that theres so many pros that i know, that have multiple accounts permabanned. I wont name any players, but i think Riot should check players before they join the league or at some point atleast, and not rely on random people or the players themselves posting screenshots in twitter or reddit of some unacceptable behaviour. Imagine if this screenshot was never posted, i would be still playing, no matter what behaviour i had and for me that just blows my mind how worthless this system is and how little effort riot puts into this(besides LEC, i think punishment and behaviour checks are on point there). Even before joining PRIDE, i'd say that there was no way i could play anywhere with the behaviour i had (again, if we are judging by the auto-ban system and saying that if u get 1 chat restrict u are unable to play). Simple tl;dr and what i meant by this, is that riot relies on random screenshots/posts on pros being toxic/inters/soloQ toxic behaviour to actually get stuff fixed, which is just so stupid.
My performance in ultraliga/Scrims/PRIDE team stuff:
I was quite surprised by my performance in ultraliga, in my opinion i played pretty well in nearly every game even tho as mentioned before, i wasnt really playing soloQ or had the "Drive" for the game like I used to. The scrims were going pretty well and im really thankful that i have met such good teammates like Warszi, xCharm, D4nKa, Baton, Color and also such a good coach Mauro. This short ultraliga experience was really fun and im really thankful for it!
Racial stuff/Encounter with Raizins:
I dont really consider myself a racist. I dont really care where a person is from or how he looks like or what his race is. In the encounter with Raizins, we were chatting whole game. I was blaming his performance, he was blaming mine(I started it, no excuses). Didint really type anything offensive until the post game lobby, where i wrote the racial stuff. Im not that sensitive and can joke about anything so racial words dont have that much power for me and i barely ever use them. In the meeting with Riot, there were no chat logs of me saying racial stuff besides the incident with Raizins. I just use random insults in my mental boom state where people start to defend themselves or argue with me when in my opinion they are solo losing the game/trolling/not trying etc.(As i mentioned before) For some stupid reasons i cant leave it there and i keep on chatting. Maybe this will be a lesson for me if i ever want to play competitively again. In this particular situation with Raizins i used the racial stuff as kind of a "meme", which is still really racist and was super stupid of me. But i guess i didint value this "career". That was really unprofessional and dumb by me. Im again sorry for all the fans of me, PRIDE, and sorry to PRIDE as an org in general.
For people who supported me, PRIDE or any of my teammates. Thank you! And for people who still think im trying to somehow justify my actions with this blame on riot or whatever, im really not, i just shared everything i had to say, and i hope you understand me even a little bit.