Michael Adams · @MikeyA
10th Jul 2019 from TwitLonger
Retiring from Professional Overwatch
Feels a bit weird to write this and I don't really know where to start, but just felt like I should at least make some sort of statement, as although I've tried not to pay too much attention to it, I've had a fair few supporters over the years, following me through different OW teams that I feel I owe it to them to explain why I've decided to retire from competitive Overwatch.
I think from the very beginning of playing comp OW I never really enjoyed it as much as other games I used to play (e.g. professional TF2 and then other games like quakelive and CSGO) but it was still moderately enjoyable and I was good at it. It's also produced by Blizzard and everyone knew it was going to be a big esports. I remember enjoying the meta a lot around the Faze/Team uk 2017 time up until cloud9 eu/mayhem. It was around the Cloud9 eu time that OWL was announced and players were already getting picked up for teams, I remember trialing for a few teams in closed trials (e.g. Philly fusion, boston) and feeling like I narrowly missed out on making OWL, which was a hard pill to swallow for me.
After that I think I maintained a feeling like I was OWL worthy without accepting I needed to keep improving and to learn more heroes, which hurt me in the long run. I got a "2nd chance" with British Hurricane, but with the way me and Nesh split gametime I think stifled progress for both of us, and we ended up having a really poor season. I managed to make team uk again that year and gained a bit more motivation and I felt like I played good at the world cup but it wasn't enough to get OWL trials for season 2.
After that I pretty much lost all motivation. I took a small break after blizzcon as I felt burnt out. I got a bit of motivation back and grinded ranked the whole of January & February, and managed to get tryouts for Hurricane and the new Eternal Academy, but weirdly getting invited to these trials didn't motivate me at all, I didn't really practice or tryhard for them at all like I should've, and I was unsuccessful. Since then I have just dabbled here and there but the passion has been long gone and it's taken me a while to finally decide to hang it because it's a tough decision to make, something I've spent 2+ years in and to let it go is really hard but I've known for at least a few months that I didn't want to play pro anymore, that I didn't want to put in the time and effort it takes these days.
Probably due to a few factors, like the meta, dwindling T2 support, awful matchmaking games and petty politics I just can't push myself to try and get back to where I was. I stuck around long enough for team UK trials, but even then I didn't prac or scirm in the 2months prior to them, barely touching ranked, I was just coasting but I didn't even know if I'd want to compete if I even made it, which I didn't believe I would. After speaking with hayes a few days ago, with him asking me if I was still planning on playing pro (I guess he could tell from my lack of activity that I wasn't really motivated) it made me realise that I didn't want to compete and that I really should move on. I don't know whether I would've made phase 2 of trials but there are very talented UK hitscans right now who grind and 100% deserve the spot and trials more and I told him that, and that's when I finally realised it's over.
But it's also a relief, I don't have any regrets, I feel like I had a good run overall. I wasn't as successful as many of my peers but I also achieved a lot in general and had some unforgettable experiences I may never have otherwise had, like going to LA and Blizzcon, and meeting people and making friends with people I might've never otherwise known. I never achieved my one goal of making OWL. But would it have been worth it to just sit on a bench? It would've equally been hard to leave my friends and family behind and move away for so long.
So yeah, there's so much more I could say, weird stories and bullshit I had to deal with with different orgs and people, but then again I'm sure everyone else in the scene has had to deal with it too, and unlucky as I've been sometimes I've also been very lucky at other times so overall I don't think it's worth going into and instead I should just leave it behind. This isn't the end for me in gaming, I just need to find something I enjoy a lot and that I want to grind. I'd like to give thanks to all the players and coaches who helped me out and I got along with, there's too many to mention here.
I'm sorry if this reads like a weird diary entry I made for myself but I didn't know how else to go about this kinda thing since I've never been one to write these types of posts. But I'm doing it mainly to explain my journey as briefly as possible (sorry it's a bit long but it's hard to fit the best part of 2 and a half years into something manageable) and to give thanks to all those who supported me, and pog'd at my plays and who tweeted at me wishing me the best, every message meant a lot to me, even if it was just 1 person it would still be incredibly motivating and uplifting so thank you guys for that. Hopefully you'll see me soon in some other game but for now I'm focusing on a career related to my Psychology studies and hope to pursue another passion around those commitments. Thanks again all <3