The end/The beginning
Here i am writing on my phone, reflecting, sitting at a cafe using the wifi because my internet got cut off, i hope my salary arrives soon. Sun is shining, as usual, in the beautiful Elche. This will be one of the hardest messages i l have to share with you.
In every game, every minute of my time of my career, i gave my 100%, hell, even my 200%. I lived and died with the results after every game(like i know many of us does) I tried to evolve as a leader, i really tried to be the best for my player in every situation. No we did not really have any internal problems, what was a problem was the communication with the club. Starting when we had to turn down the tournament in Malta, after dreamhack. We had put in 9 hours a day for training, after this, i was analyzing our games and the opponents for another good 3 hours, was this dumb? I dont think so, in my head, the more time you put in, the more results you get.
After Dreamhack nawwk got sick, and 10 hour travel one-way to Malta(one day after arriving home from Dreamhack) with a standin and exhausted players was not the best option, which the club didnt agree on. i took the decision to fight the club and protect my players in this case, as a leader should. This complicated everything, the club felt like i was taking decisions over their heads. Sure, in this situation i did. We did pay back every cent of thr travels and hotels to the tournament organizers from our pricemoney we won in other tournaments, and finished the tournament online. x6tence wanted to do stuffs their way, like every club wants.
I took decisions based on the 10 years i have in the business, what i thought was correct, trying to communicate with the club what was going on.
I felt we reached a ceiling with the players we had, and to take the next step something needed to happen. Now you're asking, but what, you came to a semifinal on Dreamhack?? why changing?? simple answer, we overperformed, and my 12 hours a day started to take my power, i started to hit a unhealthy part of working hours. Thats why i needed some more experience in the team.
With first bringing in FreddieB, one of the best players to have around, to help with stuffs like this. But quickly realized we needed a natural entry-player, which was the reason Rusty got introduced. I think this lineup did had some good potential, i mean, we had around 15 praccs together and still putting up OK results, sure not as the team who had 170 officials together with 500 praccs, but the potential and ceiling i saw with the new lineup, was there.
The ECS qualifier had to be played from the office since Movistar Riders told their sponsor to give me atleast 90 ping on every game at faceit (this is a joke for you who dont know me)
I entered the office and noticed fake smiles allover the place, figured out pretty quickly that something was wrong. Asked the executives for a meeting, in the middle of the map we got forfeited against Heroic. Took 2 minutes to figure out my time in Galaxy is done. I didnt mention anything to the guys, who would, in the middle of a qualifier?
The teams who joined x6tence before us, was not seeing it as their work, it was their dream to join the club, and i understand this. but for me it was another platform to do my absolute best.
i respect the club and their principles, for me a relationship is at its best when both parties can meet in the middle and try to understand each other.
I can take blame for protecting the players, but i dont take blame for sometimes having to wait for almost a week for answers from the club. this is not a one way ticket, it takes 2 to tango.
For myself im done with my active career as a player, i feel that my individual level isnt good enough anymore, but im sure as hell sitting on a whole lot of information i would like to share with your club. Learned during the last 3-4 years how to evolve talents, mentally especially, aswell ingame. Right now im in a phase where im evolving myself, physically and mentally. To be the best human i can be. Maybe im staying in esports, maybe im not. Any inquiries, reach me on email@example.com/or dm on Twitter
Thank you for everyone cheering for my teams during these 10 years and thank you to the doubters, who gave me fuel in hard times.
André "BARBARR" Möller