djarii · @Djari328
23rd Mar 2017 from TwitLonger
Body confidence in women on Twitch. @The_DuskSlayer
It took me a while to realise the mistakes in this idealogy. When I started streaming I never wore anything remotely revealing, too scared people would call me names like slut, whore or tell me I was abusing my body for fame, money, gain, really. I spent so long forcing myself to be this way that I actually started to silently judge people who were beautiful and confident about their bodies as if I were better than them.
It took me a while, but I now know I was completely and utterly stupid and wrong.
I often think about some of the women I've said these kind of things to, and I'd like to apologise to them. I genuinely feel bad, and so strongly about this now so I'm going to take the time to write a wall of text.
This is a problem that goes much deeper than a couple of MILD lingerie photos taken by a professional photographer and friend. It's a stigma, that women everywhere have to experience. Where is the line? What can I do, what can't I do? The most common thing that comes to mind is 'boob streamer' on Twitch - why are women being shamed for having breasts? You show half an inch of cleavage on Twitch, suddenly you're a 'slut who is exploiting thirsty men.' The reality is I'm just a regular girl, wearing regular clothes to suit my body, clothes that make me feel comfortable and beautiful.
Even if it is for attention, who are you to judge a person just because they are confident in their own skin? My entire Instagram is full of that, full of my face and body, full of me, photos that I have shared because I thought I was beautiful and it made me feel happy. Why is that a bad thing in your eyes? Why is so many selfies of my face allowed, but my body is not? There are so many women out there who are scared of their body because people shame them, then there are women who are shamed for being proud of themselves.
When I took these pictures, I was really nervous about uploading them. I knew that there would be a mixed response. Yes, there is always those gross guys, and frankly, I don't care, this isn't for them, it's about me. My main thoughts were I feel happy about myself, I feel strong and proud.
I know I definitely deliberated for a long time about uploading these, but I can say I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed of my body, I am not ashamed of being confident. I've spent far too much of my life crying about not being pretty enough to be shot down by one single girl who is intimidated by my confidence.
You have to be below somebody in order to drag them down. :)