I don't rly know how to write this ljubioyviyvfuo

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I wasn't really sure if I would make a post like this or even talk about it with anyone on social media but if I'm open with it now, maybe you guys will understand me a little better and things will make more sense.

I know there's been a lot of days I don't stream, and sometimes I don't even tweet about it to let you know. Sometimes I avoid Twitter completely cause I don't want to see everyone asking me if I'm going to go live because I feel bad that I know I can't.

So doctor diagnosed me with depression today, not really surprised, I knew that was the case for many years but I've been avoiding the truth for the longest time. Sometimes being unhappy is manageable and sometimes it's so bad that I get panic attacks and anxiety attacks and freak out so hard that people around me are really concerned. Sometimes I can't even get myself out of bed in the morning. The past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful for me and I find myself becoming easily agitated, snappy and honestly miserable at the smallest things. Everything affects me in a really big way and I have found it hard to stay on top.

Today was a big step for me though, sounds pretty stupid but asking for help was definitely one of the biggest leaps for me. Got prescribed some medication. I hope it helps.

Anyway, sorry for the spiel, just wanted to face the big bad wolf head on and not be afraid or uncomfortable about it, cause honestly, this is pretty embarrassing and hard for me.

In the meantime guys, please bare with me, I will always try my best for all of you.

I aim to stream tomorrow. Love you guys.

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