Annoucement. Stepping down from AV Starting Roster.
I will be departing from the starting roster of the Avant Garde LoL squad to remain as an emergency sub. This has been a difficult decision for me and I’m still unsure if it’s the right one. My perspective on situations are my own and apologies if I have offended or disrespected anyone.
Firstly, I love competing against players whose desires are aligned with mine. The thrill and intensity of wanting to be best was one of the reasons I pursued to play competitive League. Being able to make Semi's in my rookie split and being fan voted into IWCA was the best feeling in the world I’ve ever had. I'm so grateful to have been given this opportunity.
Secondly, the experiences of Losing 3 of our core members as well as coaching staff and manager (Love you Eddy) was indefinitely a challenge to fill the void, It took us so long to announce and formulate a roster due to behavior checks, player relationships and age restrictions. It was both a personal and team decision to move to ADC as I was not interested in supporting any other ADC's that were available. I still believe to this day that I performed and exceeded expectations given the time period. Our team dynamic however was unbalanced, people had different motives and in the end did not work out. This forced the team to move me back to support fill the gaps. I still feel as if we stayed to our original plan of keeping the roster and replacing Wrekt with Triple would have allowed us to secure a 3rd/4th spot barely.
Thirdly, I'm not here to make excuses. When the roster shuffle happened I was quite frankly upset and anxiety started to hit as if I didn’t fulfill my role/guide Blindturkey in the right direction. I could have done more but I didn't. I've always taken criticism well in my personal opinion but when I do make mistakes I take it incredibly harshly on myself. It's triggered a somewhat semi-anxiety problem for me that really demotivates and makes me feel worthless that transitions into the real world. This then later occurred when we started to organise a boot camp when in fact our main roster was undecided, short notice and relays on player motives. 3:2 players wanted to. I said no due to being my first week of Uni, knowing the cost to Avant and I wasn't willing to alter my personal commitments, which led Malaz to leave. Juggling part time League with a part time job, social life and education with a mystery roster made me lose hope and motivation.
Furthermore, I'm not here to make excuses of what could have happened. Right now I feel like a liability to the team as I’m showing them the respect of giving 100%. Going to scrims, watching the occasional VOD and OPL isn't putting in my all. I really do wish the best for the future Avant team, Bradley is an amazing player when he's set up for success. I have faith in Stephen being the most under-rated midlaner, Jason as mini warble and Rain as aggressive Porky. Frost (our new coach) and Alithia are doing a great job and I am grateful for there effort and dedication for getting myself and others in check <3. Avant plan on not releasing my contract for whatever reason, so after the next game(s) I will be taking a break from competitive League until my contracts duration has finished or if needed for an emergency. I would like to thank them for all they have done, but at times I was miscommunicated to/given the short stick. Please continue to support them.
Finally, I'm not sure if I will continue to play in the 2016/2017 season, moving into a gaming house will be a requirement and I’m not sure if I’m willing to (considering my situation with family, part time job and whether I continue uni). I'm at a confused state of mind where I’m unsure as to whether I'm willing to put that extra commitment in. Thank you for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime. I'd like to especially thank my Mum for supporting me, my best friend Maxxy, Riot Games, Avant Garde and the awesome community <3 #BIGFANS.
tldr: What happened with team was ;(, I was a good teammate, but now i'm not stepping up to being a great one. To many things happening in my life, not sure if i'll ever play competitive league again. Glad that we were able to comeback at the end of the split to avoid relegation. Contracted to Avant and a big thanks to everyone.