Kitty · @Rose4MichaelJ
17th Jan 2016 from TwitLonger
Advice page 😊
I dont understand, been dating him a year & he works away on 2 yr postings but comes home every 3 weeks. Hes always wanted to be with me & chased me for years but now we together its hard getting him to kiss me, sex or anything.
. I’ve brought it up, cos I've worn sexy undies etc & asked what he likes etc but I have to drag it out of him. He is getting a bit better & has surprised me twice so he’s listening to me. I give him compliments in case hes insecure e.g. ‘That was great’ & he just said ‘Yeah don’t get used to it.” He hates kissing it seems apart from these 2 times & I have to ask for one. He even blew in my face once when I went to kiss him & he calls me ‘Fish tank breath’ in the morning which isn’t true. I get pecks instead of kisses & if I try a deep loving kiss in bed he fights me. Early on I text him on Friday & he wasn’t happy I asked him if he was ok, because his text was short & he said “Why are you nit picking” I said “I don’t understand eggshells situation when talking to you s/times what’s wrong?” He shouted "ur making me raging mad now, u know I don't have time to myself, what have I done to deserve this, nothing!" He said I don't wanna Fu***** break up with u. If ur like this, don't bother messaging me, only talk when I'm home. You’ve used up all my night cos u can't listen, nothings wrong!! Few weeks later he was working & said ‘Don’t expect 2much texting from me, Ill be busy& no battery but was on his phone a lot.
He bought me loads of presents when he came home but he did take his phone into the bathroom and once he went to bed with it in his dressing gown which is huge warning for me. He’s a lovely guy sometimes, it is my birthday & he bought me concert tickets, a satnav (but I think this is to pick him up from airport soon) a gorgeous birthday card which was caligraphied which must have taken him ages!! Chocolates etc, I told him i loved him & the card is my favourite because the time it took him. He just came home for a week & it was lovely apart from his usual moaning. He always pats my head like a dog, sniffs me etc I tried to kiss him but nothing, except I got out of shower & he dragged me into bedroom with me ontop of him, obviously he wanted a bjob so I did for a bit, then he turned me over & came quickly! So obv I was upset but if I ever bring up & he says "dont winge now" I felt really guilty then. I spend time trying not to upset him & he says I'm annoying most of the times because I make too much noise, I scratch my hand loud, cleans nails annoyingly etc, he even threw out his soap cos I sometimes leave it in the sink. We finally had sex today after hours of me trying, him pushing me off & laughing. He even blew at me when I tried to kiss him, then he handed me a wet wipe & said "how come u dont get wet" so I said "well because u climb on, cum & over & I dont get to enjoy it" to which he said ‘That’s your fault, dont whine now, we just did it, so just say thankyou” I was really shocked. He always tells me to make decisions more but whenever I do, he says "no that's stupid" so I don't bother anymore. I know he added a girl ages ago on facebook because she told me & it was the time he found out his posting is far away, I was telling him im nervous and hope we will be ok - he said we'll be fine and to stop adding to his problems!! I apologized and said im just scared and don’t want2 be used or a problem??? He said "then stop moaning and no stupid nonsense" I'm so negative apparently cos I like to discuss why hes horrible to me but I've said I want us to have a happy relationship, not just split because none of us talked & this week he said ‘Your just like the rain you, always moaning’ Last thing was he was due to leave today so in bed I was hugging him & once again he said "your making me too hot" so he literally picked me up by my bra & pushed me off. I said ‘Ow you hurting’ but he just says I’m a baby. so I sighed "ok ill sit here" & put my top on, when he got up, had a shower & started getting his stuff ready to leave. I said 'Why you leaving so early?' and he just said 'It will get dragged out otherwise' In one hour, I was pushed out the door, quick hug & "see u next time" He even said to me last time "you can do a lot worse than me girlie" He was home for Christmas which was I admit lovely – we had a lovely time together & he spent absolute fortune on me (unnecessary) but I was rushing about like mad cos he wont come to my house (allergic to my cats) so I was back & fo like crazy. He didn’t buy much food so I was bringing loads of food & making him Christmas cake etc so was shattered. I've said ‘can you at least kiss me more or show you actually fancy me’ but he said ‘You’re a pain sometimes’ but I like being kissed now & again & whats wrong with wanting a good sex life with my guy & not always having him tut u away. He even slept on top of the blankets sometimes and then got in when id gone to sleep. I'm not daft, I know that's wrong. He had a heat rash last time & blamed me by saying it’s your fault, you dont get wet’ Sometimes he's lovely but im thinking if he wont ever come to my house how can we live together? He doesnt want to move from his house because his mortgage will be paid soon - i have my own house too. He said he wants us to be together forever, but im scared he simply using me until somebody else comes along but im 34 & i want a normal family, kids, husband etc - what should i do? I have no friends where i live so am completely alone & only see him when he comes home, once a month. He came home for the weekend before he starts his course & he said he was busy - so i saw him for 2 hours but thats because i drove to his house to see if he was ok. I havent seen him or stayed at all this weekend cos hes revising but i dont know if he sjust not interested, he asked ' were u in the area or did you come to see me?' so i said 'you of course' because i havent seen u in two weeks. He gave me a huge hug before i left but i really feel unwanted, ive said to him 'if you just want to stay friends, just say so' and thats fine but he insists no he wants us as partners but i just keep feeling sad because if it was reversed & i was home, i would be dying to see him or at least let him stay the night so we have the night to cuddle.
so i saw him for 2 hours but thats because i drove to his house to see if he was ok. I havent seen him or stayed at all this weekend cos hes revising but i dont know if he just not interested, he asked ' were u in the area or did you come to see me?' so i said 'you of course' because i havent seen u in two weeks. He gave me a huge hug before i left but i really feel unwanted, ive said to him 'if you just want to stay friends, just say so' and thats fine but he insists no he wants us as partners but i just keep feeling sad because if it was reversed & i was home, i would be dying to see him or at least let him stay the night so we have the night
to cuddle etc.