Bayern fans and media - to whom it may concern in this lunacy:


Opinions. Reactions. Emotions. The world of modern media and twitteresque wannabe media have made me hate those words and what they stand for.

We're connected 24/7 and it's only natural for a human to prefer output over input. Yet it seems more and more impossible for many people to keep their ratio under control, to keep the input within reasonable distance to the output. In other words, people no longer shut up.

The current events in Munich emphasize a development that's been as impressive in its durability as it is in its disgustingness. It serves as a nice example of what goes wrong far too many times.

Bayern fans and journalists have always had more than enough to talk about. Obviously you don't always agree with others on everything. But what's been going on over the last five or so years still blows my mind.

Within half a decade, Bayern went from an international side note to one of the leading figures. At the same time, the fans have become a disgustingly poisoned and poisonous bunch. Under van Gaal, the differences were still acceptable. Under Heynckes, they first developed further only to be silenced. Temporarily. What has been going on since the club signed Guardiola is so ridiculous, it must be a parody.

The camp was immediately split in half, with some supporting the decision and others not so much. Then the worst thing happened, Bayern won everything.

The one half started losing their mind over a potential era of dominance that Germany has waited for since Beckenbauer's famous announcement in the early 90s. The other half went nuts over the betrayal of an own identity, over supposedly trying to become what's just going out of fashion.

The situation at this point was practically unsaveable. I can't imagine any fanbase handling success worse than Bayern in 2013. One admittedly great year now was enough to expect ongoing dominance and perfection. Bayern fans got to live the dream of 2013 and have yet to wake up from it.

The Guardiola era has been so exhausting and shocking thanks to fans and media, I'm getting more and more excited for it to finally end. A (at least based on numbers) outstanding Bayern coach and I can't wait for him to leave again. Thanks a lot for that.

For some, he could do no wrong at all. He was portrayed as a divine being. Learning a language was a huge event, people were hanging onto his lips like a baby to its mother's tits in the desert.

For others, the same hyperbole was executed in the opposite direction. A Barca intruder set to destroy the club from the inside, he could do no right. The slightest tactical changes were seen as an act of pissing all over Mona Lisa. Even the cheap signing of a great player in Thiago was not only doubted but relentlessly attacked and ridiculed.

I'm not going to mention all the events, this is already way too long for something written on mobile. I'm sure you can remember most.

The pity is that it didn't stop at the fans. Journalists joined the camps and only worsened the entire situation that was already fucked up.

Guardiola was celebrated for speaking broken German. Guardiola was mocked for his broken German. Whatever he did, no matter how irrelevant, it was presented by the media either as divine interaction or the miracle of a multilingual asshole. At this point, most people have an extreme opinion of him. Most can no longer remember what they think of him, causing the opinion to change daily.

The last two weeks have been a perfect summary of all of this.

Surprisingly defensive-minded football in Dortmund, what a genius.

Sitting down on a chair in Leverkusen, miracle moment. A fucking chair. People actually discussed that.

And now the extremes have reached their peak. As if the awful loss in Porto wasn't enough, the doc runs away. Why? Nobody really knows yet. But that would never stop fans and media who, at this point, have become so frenzied that they react to any news like angry dogs, barking at each other aggressively.

Look around to what you're hearing and reading. People analyzed Guardiola's reaction to an injury. Everybody watched the clip, everybody instantly formed an opinion. Nobody of course bothered to check what actually might have happened.

The entire story is already being fabricated as a fight for power between Guardiola and Müller-Wohlfahrt, despite there being no immediate signs yet aside from their not so rosy relationship. Why? Because that's the only thing that fits the narrative. No matter where you stand, this is a story that confirms your opinions.

The media have become so obsessed with Guardiola, they've either forgotten about or decided that other figures like Rummenigge or Sammer have nothing to say anymore. People who in the past have been presented as stubborn leading figures have been demoted by the idea of the all-consuming mastermind named Guardiola. At this point, his role in the history books must lie somewhere between Napoleon and Hitler.

One more thing: attacking the club for not talking too much about this recent issue at a mandatory prematch press conference is pathetic, dear media. Go ahead and feel prosecuted, like you're victims in all of this. You can't always have it your way, you're a part of the PR game but you're not it. Not to mention that, if all you had to do was recap press conferences, we wouldn't need you anymore.

I wanna come to an end now. This lunacy is tiring. Try to erase the trigger word Guardiola from your minds because something about it keeps many of you from using your otherwise capable brains.

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