Why is there a constant illusion of some unknown future happiness?

I wake up most days wishing that they would end as quickly as possible because it still feels like I'm waiting for some mysterious event to happen. As far as adulthood is concerned, I think I've ticked most of the boxes... family, friends (though admittedly no one within driving distance), and a moderately successful career. In the words of Stewie Griffin, "Wow, nothing says success like free on a Tuesday at 3:00 p.m." (Quoting Family Guy, that's where we are... oh dear)

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but just trying to explain that my life has come leaps and bounds away from what it was like 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago. I did the 15-hour working days for mere peanuts, I took jobs that I hated to pay the bills, I raised my son as a single mom for the longest time. Given the fact that I grew up as what we today would label as "trailer trash" and living off of the government dollar, you'd think that all of this progress in my life should make me happy. Am I just a horrible and ungrateful person?

Sure, it's not been all sunshine and rainbows, even now. There are still aspects of my work that I don't like, my husband still has 4 months of chemo ahead, my son will always have Aspergers', and my mother will still be living with me for goodness knows how long. To top it all off, I have issues ranging from hyperinsomnia to weight troubles to depression and anxiety. It's not all a picnic, but I still consider my life to be much better than a lot of people in this world. Yet, I have this feeling that some happier future will present itself. Why can't I live in the present and enjoy what it is that I already have?

Does anyone else feel like this or am I just crazy? ;(

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