2nd grade orphan #Adoptee

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I've waited many years on you,
Not certain who you are,
I knew that you would take me home,
Be it near or far

I worried when I went somewhere,
Perhaps I made it hard,
For you to come and locate me,
To even send a card

I looked around each place I went,
Not knowing who I'd see,
I hoped and prayed every day,
You'd at least remember me

I thought perhaps the paperboy knew,
the brothers I once had,
But when I tried to ask him,
New Moma called me bad

They isolated me from contacts,
from people who might know,
they took from me the memories,
from which that I could grow

I prayed each night to God himself,
with all my heart I'd plead
"Please take me up there with you,
don't leave my soul to bleed'

"Don't leave me on this earth dear God,
that is if you exist",
Then I'd wake up in the am. Mad!
I think you get the gist

I always kept a spark of hope,
although it grew so dim,
that you'd come and rescue me
despite my being grim

You never did come for me,
You're still not even here,
I forgot what I was searching for,
Yet remembered hollow-fear

I gave up on the mercy,
on things that don't exist,
I forgot about the home I had,
I would never slit my wrists

It's time to move forward,
I've passed to the 3rd grade,
To feel is not a good thing,
It means to be afraid

I've learned about the grown ups,
the social working sluts,
If I am to live this lie
it's gonna' take some guts

I'm grateful for you teaching me,
Fool to trust I be,
Never will I look again,
All I have is me.

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