The Pros and Cons of Vaccinating Children:

PROS

- Helps out pharmaceutical industry

- Get to puncture child with needle

- Old family syringe shop depends on it

- Habituates children to the pain of existence

- Flies in face of science by discrediting single unanimously refuted paper from 10 years ago

- Healthier children equals friendlier waiters at Chili’s down the line

- Could save a few million children’s lives


CONS

- You have to go to a place

- Chance of developing autism 100 percent

- Puts the onus of character-building entirely on sports

- Without suffering through diphtheria, the flu, and measles, American children will become effete, pampered do-nothings

- Free lollipops promote unhealthy eating habits

- Child won’t get to be kindergarten’s Typhoid Mary

- Bullies parents into slavishly following actions recommended by decades of physicians’ peer-reviewed research that establishes an irrefutable scientific consensus

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-pros-and-cons-of-vaccinating-children,35731

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