New service from your friends in Washington... Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint maintain your phone records for six months only. NSA maintains your records forever, for free! For access to your records whenever you need them, log in at www.nsa.gov/catch-a-terrorist/phone-records/.
Some restrictions may apply. Your records are strictly confidential. The NSA will never sell or distribute your records to third parties without your permission.
With a nod to the Borowitz Report at The New Yorker: