New service from your friends in Washington... Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint maintain your phone records for six months only. NSA maintains your records forever, for free! For access to your records whenever you need them, log in at www.nsa.gov/catch-a-terrorist/phone-records/.

Some restrictions may apply. Your records are strictly confidential. The NSA will never sell or distribute your records to third parties without your permission.

With a nod to the Borowitz Report at The New Yorker:

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/06/a-letter-to-verizon-customers.html#entry-more

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