Christianity: The belief that an invisible god created men and women with original sin, impregnated one of those women with himself as her child so that he could be born, and once alive, allowed himself to be sacrificed to himself, to save you from the sin he originally condemned you to, but knew all along was just temporary, and now the cosmic Jewish zombie, who is his own father, can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your indiscernible soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman and a dust-man were convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree that they were told they should not eat from, but could not have known was wrong because only by eating the magical fruit could they understand good from evil. Yeah, makes perfect sense.

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