I debated a long time to make this post but due to my recent tweets and many peoples responses to it I guess I should. Before I get started I wanna make it clear that Melee and it's community have given me so much over the years. There is a shit ton of people that have supported me over the years and I love all of you, you are seen and I appreciate you. I'm not the best at expressing that and sometimes when I get negative I don't word things great. However, I do think stuff I implied needs to be addressed to give you all a better view of where I'm coming from.
As tons of people already have mentioned I did imply Mango and stuff he has done which has impacted a lot for me.
Ever since I retired Mango has honestly been a toxic asshole to say the least, and being so without any consequences and I guess it got completely normalized for a lack of a better word.
First of it started with less subtle stuff, stuff I guess I did not see the true impact or meaning behind early on.
When Mango early on post retirement often would make remarks on me as a competitor weather it was comparing me to different players in ways to make me look worse to flat out talking like "everyone" would just beat me. At the time I did not care to much about it, afterall I thought he probably just missed me/our rivalry and even if I think he went about it terribly I tried to understand it and ignore it. It needs to be stated that already at this point you could see a change in terms of how people talked about/to me as a player but I tried to ignore it as much as I could.
When I did not bite on any of those remarks for a long time I guess it started going over to me as a person/competitor combination. All of a sudden the reason I retired was because I was scared of all the players and improvements people made. I can with 100% certainty say that everyone that knows me know that this is 100% false, I have many times explained my reasons for retirement and if you don't believe me than so be it. Ironically enough I had a conversation with Mango/Lucky at Genesis 5 about how my motivation had fallen for a long time and how this did trouble me but I guess it had to be ignored for Mango to continue his lies. At this point it was more people that started to dislike me, I guess in their mind out of ego/fear I had abandon Melee and that deserved no respect, again, I tried to ignore these people. It was very obvious who they got these ideas from but I hoped things would go away.
Next up we should talk about the meta. Even though the story Mango have been telling for years is not true we should still look into it, my exact quote was "I also don't think the meta have changed that much"
Important things to remember here, this was a reference point to early 2020, about 1.5 year after I retired (and well before Slippi). The impression MANY people gave me at the time was basically that things had changed to the point that late 2018 would not be enough for maybe top 30. This might not be accurate but it is the picture I got from a lot of people, with a to small sample size I realize this might not have been the case overall.
My comment with "that much" was a reference to this. Basically the impression I got from what people said and what I felt was very off, still, I should not have made the comment period and for that I apologize. What happens next though is that Mango takes this and goes with the storyline that I have said nothing have changed, no one did improve at all and no one can reach higher than 2018.
I tried to make it very clear this is not at all what I said/meant but the damage was done. Mango for years pushed an agenda that I essentially disrespected every player and thought no one had gotten better at all. Again, I apologize for my original comment but I do think it's important to notice what I said and meant is VERY different from the story Mango told. Again, I apologize for my comment and even in it's intended form and what I actually said it was a comment I never should have made. However, I do think it's beyond unreasonable the amount of shit I got for it but Mango willingly spreading lies is more than fine apparently.
I guess at this point I had finally "slipped up" and said something that Mango felt could justify him become even more toxic. Important to remember as well is that Mango for a long time already had tried to provoke me and get a reaction out of me. Did I always act perfect, no, should I have kept my mouth shut, yes.
But I think it's important to remember that for years I was provoked and supposed to say nothing. With the whole "meta story" things really started going downhill. The more Mango pushed this story the more hate started coming towards me, tons of people started to believe everything Mango said, I never got a chance to explain myself.
When Mango had gotten to this point it's not like he stopped. He talked about how I would rather see the Melee scene die in order for people not have a chance to improve their legacies, again this is 100% false.
I love Melee and I always will, it makes me happy that people can compete in this wonderful game and stuff like Slippi/Metagame etc are amazing for the scene.
Mango painted a picture of me as someone that would rather see the game die, as someone that disrespected all the players, someone afraid of competition and apparently Melee being something that can't be talked about for me. I love Melee and to this day it is a very frequent topic on my stream but in order to get more people to believe I'm an idiot or something I guess this part was important.
These lies at it's worst led to people wishing I would die, I guess in these peoples mind I was the person Mango had painted up for them, a person that wanted bad for Melee and did not respect the players. As someone that gave my all to Melee for so many years it made me sad how I could feel a clear change which obviously was lead by Mango. It made me more sad when no matter how much shit he talked, the lies he said, no one seemed to call him out for it and in return his words became the truth to many.
Eventually it got to the point where I stopped streaming Melee entirely, as many might remember I still did stream Melee occasionally, mainly with Meady and this was well past retirement. With a lot of hate on various platforms I really felt like it was not worth it, I still play Melee occasionally to this day but for my own sake I will keep it offline.
As much as I dislike it I will admit Mango has a very large following and here is where the issue comes. Mango has a very large following and at least a portion of these are "die hards", what Mango says is law to these people. It goes without saying that Mango knows what he says and does impact a lot of people, he absolutely knew that by making up lies that a lot of people would believe every word he said and some people would take it out on me.
Call me crazy but I think it's important to recognize that streamers/youtubers etc have a responsibility in all of this. Don't get me wrong, if people cross lines it's their responsibility but if a content creator act this way I think it's fair to say they played a huge role in creating the mess, Mango absolutely knew what he did and kept pushing.
It just makes me sad how so many lies for years have impacted me a lot and according to so many people I should just take it all and never say anything. That all my experiences are not valid cause they might not have seen/heard it. Why is is wrong for me to feel bad about this but not wrong of Mango to lie and try to push people against me?
I can say for certain that as Mango spread more and more lies that heavily did increase hate towards me which lasted for a long time. Can you blame me for feeling it's unfair that no matter what he says/does and no matter what that leads to I'm just supposed to shut up.
Truth to be told I should have made this post a long time ago, it deserved to be read back than and maybe things would change sooner. Lucky said " The way you are wording this is making me so mad on so many levels". What makes me mad on so many levels is that I'm supposed to just take lies for years, not say anything about it and be fine with it. Could I express myself better, sure, but maybe the bigger issue here is for some people in the scene Mango can't do anything wrong. Many people might not understand the impact he made but some do at the same time. Again, I should have phrased myself better, I apologize for that, there is many lovely member in the community and I love you a lot.
Part of the reason I should have made this post a long time ago is cause it was much more relevant back than. I guess I ended up not doing it cause I did not have the energy to go through it at that time but based on my recent tweets deep down I think this deserves to be told and I'm tired of feeling like no matter the lies I should just take it just cause I don't compete in Melee any longer. Another reason I did not bring it up cause it feels like in the Melee community you are not allowed to go against Mango.
Again, call me crazy but I 100% believe that we overall can do much better at calling out this shit behavior and what it leads to.
One reason I make this post is not only to tell my story but also the fact that I believe it's very important to see the result of how people with large followings impact people.
With all this said, I 100% respect Mango as a player, our rivalry is something I will still always look back at with cool memories. Even if we personally don't like each other at all and in my opinion he brought a lot of shit to me post retirement I don't think anyone should bring hate, I don't think more hate solves anything.
I hope Mango/others maybe see the bigger picture of how actions like this, especially on the internet and if you have a large following, how much it can impact. I hope if Mango/I or anyone else does something similar that people let us know, no player/creator is perfect.
With all this said if I have done anything else wrong/disrespected etc in this whole situation I would be more than fine to hear that and try to improve from it, I have already made a clear effort to never state anything regarding players skill/ranks/meta etc for a long time cause I don't in any way wanna disrespect people. I understand this is a flaw I had and I have actively tried to correct it. I'm not saying I have acted perfect on all fronts, however I do think I got a lot of unfair treatment for a long time and that a lot of it was ignored.
I hope this post does a decent job at explaining disappointment/anger and many more feelings I have felt for a long time. I really do feel that a lot have been unfair and even if you don't agree with everything I hope at the very least people understand where I'm coming from.
I love Melee and I always will!