Won't be competing for the start of 2023; didn't look for or want to join a team - prioritising time off instead.
I’ve been competing for over 6 years now, and over the years my primary motivation for competing has turned from having a simple and innocent love for the game, to more and more instead solely desiring to win a split - something I have consistently failed at. I’ve always assuaged myself by believing it would be a matter of time and effort, which I still believe to be true, though I’ve found my passion and joy in league to not be what it was. It’s been more and more difficult to feel motivated with this goal in mind, particularly during periods of the now monotonous regular splits. I fear that burnout, and continuously trying to push through it, will only make it more difficult to achieve anything worthwhile, - that is: winning a split, and giving my team my best performances.
So, with this and the recent disappointment of the year on mind, I decided very early into this off season that I want to take at least a split off to reflect on what’s gone wrong - and hopefully also to re-find my joy in playing. I have no interest in slowly struggling with motivation, and wasting mine or anyone else’s time on a nearly-good-enough team. I don’t know what the future will hold, just that change is probably good, and anyways that I won’t know until I’ve tried it. Either I’ll come back with a new perspective and motivation, still desiring to win, or I’ll find that not playing is more suitable - and nothing lost.
Thank you to and I’m sorry for Vitality and my teammates and staff for the year. There was a lot of passion in the project, which was one of the reasons I was so attracted to it, and I wish we could’ve done something with it.
Thank you also to all my previous teammates and staff who have helped me grow throughout the years, and of course to all the fans who have been sincere and good hearted with their support. I'm very grateful.