I’m going to try to explain the relevant events of the last couple years in the most concise way possible. This was always written off as ‘drama’ when I tried to talk about it, but I only spoke of it because it really bothered me and I cared. It is not easy to be threatened with legal action when you’re just trying to tell people what’s going down. That’s why my tweets were always so cryptic. I am not a clout chaser, I haven’t even made any money over the last several years, only alienated my audience since I started talking about this stuff, and at this point want absolutely nothing to do with the internet.
I promise this context ties into what’s going on right now.
We’ll start with the Carson thing. I found out about what he did in March 2020, and for a moment considered tweeting it right then and there. Unfortunately, I did not have any concrete details initially. In fact, the few details I had were lies. The group had a meeting later that day in which our ‘manager,’ Ryan, told us that he had “dealt with this several times before and we can make this go away,” and some members of the group insisted that we needed to stick by Carson. At this point I was checked out completely, but naively was shocked that so many people seemed to value their careers over doing the right thing.
Over the next several months I started asking around as to what others had been told, and found that every single person was told an entirely different story as to how many girls he was contacting and what their ages were. This pushed me to do something, and I had actually gotten the entire group to agree to recording a video of each of us simply saying what we were told & uploading it directly to the Lunch Club channel. No baseless accusations, no clout chasing, just the truth. At the last moment, many pulled out of the video because, in Schlatt’s words, he “had too much to lose.” Deja vu. It was never supposed to go through Keemstar.
People who KNEW this to be the case because they WERE THERE then took to twitter to flame me for “going to Keemstar” when it was actually Keem who messaged me first after somebody tipped him off. I wasn’t about to back down because so many people were being selfish cowards, and thankfully a close friend had my back and came with me. DramaAlert was the absolute last resort, because again, this stuff is not drama to me.
Carson had a whole discord of content creators that aided him in strategizing damage control in the lead up to the DramaAlert, because naturally Ryan had gone behind my back, warned him, and tried to prep him. I know this because not all of them suck and they told me what was up. Then the creators in that discord fled like rats from a sinking ship when it was clear the situation was not salvageable. I called Carson several times in the days leading up the DramaAlert because I DID NOT want the venue to discredit the story, and I wanted him to take responsibility for his actions like a fucking adult. To this day he hasn’t even admitted to what he did and everyone still thinks it was a 2 year age gap. That is not true.
I was told that in private Ryan had said - and I know this is going to sound like a joke - “Noah is like the joker, he just wants to see my whole operation burn.” I didn’t see how exposing a weirdo would bring down his whole “operation,” but that started to make sense later.
Ryan pushed me to make a commentary style expose video on Carson, for which I had no interest because I don’t believe in profiting off of something like this.
Then, in march of last year he called me and said to me, verbatim:
“You can never tell anyone about this. The problem for you has always been money. How much do you need to stop talking about this?”
That made me sick to my stomach, seeing as I had just knowingly lit any potential for an online career on fire because, to me, not being party to bullshit like that is worth a hell of a lot more than being a fucking eceleb. The very idea I’d take an actual, real-life bribe to stay quiet about everything made me wonder how common that is in this industry. If this was presented to me, a bystander, then I can’t even imagine what the actual victims are told.
He also brought up to me that, when I had first met him, I told him how the whole reason I had even participated in the Lunch Club stuff was because my Dad had cancer and I wanted to help him retire. I owe most everything that made me the person I am today to my father - hell my game reviews were based on conversations he and I had - and I figured it was the least I could do if he was going to kick the bucket. Not trying to seem like Mr. Good Guy here, but that’s the genuine reason why I put up with that shit for so long. Fortunately, my dad’s fine now. He was fine by the time Ryan said this to me. The fact he tried to leverage me with my father’s brain tumor genuinely made me laugh, but not because it was funny.
I told him to shove it, and when I later brought up how disturbing all of that was, all he had to say was that he had “switched up his meds.” Sure, buddy.
The ‘mental health’ shield is used by these people a lot.
It probably came out of left field to a lot of people when I started going after the whole dream stan thing, but I did that because I knew that whole crew got picked up by the very same management - the management that had expressed repeatedly that they had “made this go away” multiple times before. That whole crew (the management) really freaks me the fuck out, especially when a young audience is involved. It didn’t feel right to let a bunch of impressionable kids get pied-pipered again.
Anyhow, this brings me to Mizkif. In July of last year, ConnorEatsPants and I ended up having a conversation wherein he told me that I needed to stop talking about the Carson/Ryan thing or it would ‘end poorly for me.’ I took this as a threat, because why the fuck else would someone say that? Also, this wasn’t the first time I had been spoken to like that.
I hazarded an educated guess that OTK was probably going to be involved with Carson somehow in the near future, and lo and behold a month or so later Carson made his return to twitch on Mizkif’s stream. Interesting detail here - shortly after this, Carson, in an effort to redeem himself and without taking any responsibility for what he did, announced he would be doing a ‘year of charity’. And who was one of the first recipients of this charity? Alveus. A charity that belonged to Mizkif’s Girlfriend, Maya. And it’s not like she’s giving money to people in need - she’s playing with fucking birds. Little bit of a conflict of interest to me.
I talked about that in an interview with another streamer, on a stream with about 90 viewers. Later that evening, Mizkif reacted to me describing this bizarre series of coincidences in front of about 30,000 viewers by saying ‘this guy’s a nobody, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about’ etc without refuting a single thing that I said. Liar. You cannot convince me that him bringing Carson on, despite knowing what he did, normalizing his comeback, and then indirectly taking a monetary kickback from him is in any way legitimate or ‘just a coincidence’. It would have been very easy, hell it would have made much more sense to just not have him on. Funnily enough, Mizkif deleted the video of him and Carson right after gaslighting the fuck out of me about it.
I was aware of some of the Slick stuff months and months ago (the harassment, not the actual assault), and none of it surprised me. I don’t know how it was possible that I knew while living halfway across the country and having never fucking met these people, and yet people living in that very house claim they didn’t know. Now that everybody’s finally talking about it and for a moment I probably seem a lot less nuts to people who weren’t in the know, figured now’s as good a time as any to get this all off my chest. I’ve been carrying the weight of this information for a couple years now, and it made me into a really unhappy person for a while. Again, I doubt I’m anywhere close to having gotten the worst of it. This shit has to change.
I cite so many personal anecdotes here because they illustrate how common covering for people like this is. I want to make something clear. When these streamers act like these accusations come completely out of left field, a lot of the time they are lying. You can now see they hold onto this stuff as blackmail, not out of care for the victims. I’ve been harping on this for like a year now. Everybody talks, and almost everybody knows. Well in advance. They always feign ignorance, and they’ll dog pile you in an instant if you go against the narrative that makes things easy for them. Don’t EVER trust an eceleb. Hell, that applies to me, too.
Don’t expect me to comment on any of this after this post. I am not here to argue. I want nothing to do with any of these people ever again.
I don’t mean for this to come off as a narcissistic act to ‘take people down’ or elevate myself over others, either. I want people to understand just how duplicitous and cutthroat these people are. I want people to get a clearer picture of what you’re getting into if you pursue this sort of thing. I haven’t signed any NDAs so hopefully nobody decides to sue me over this, hell the only contract I’ve signed this entire time was to get a figurine made of me climbing out of a jar full of semen. I hope you see the symbolism in that.
If you’re going to do this stuff, don’t ever put yourself in the position of relying on anybody but yourself. That’s harder to do than you think. What I’ve described is, I’m sure, trivial in comparison to what happens to the real victims of this shit. Unless the culture changes, rats like these fuckers are going to just keep getting away with it.
That’s all I have to say.