Hi y'all. I'd like to respond to some things I've said in the past.
Trans issues: There are screenshots going around of me invalidating and saying some very transphobic things about trans people. Yes, I said those things, and I was completely wrong in doing so. I grew up in Israel from age 14 and didn't arrive back at the states until 19. I was homeschooled and grew up extremely sheltered with a small friend circle. I hadn't even met someone who was trans until December of 2019 when one of Daniel's friends came out to him and I as trans. Talking with them about being trans completely changed my perspective as a whole and I'm embarrassed to be frank. I'm an idiot. I spoke from a truly uneducated, naive place, and I'm so sorry if what I said hurt anyone. There is no excuse. I'm sorry and will be better.
Nazi stuff: I've said a lot of things online like, "Hilter did nothing wrong" among other comments pertaining to Hilter, Jews, and Nazi's. A lot of this stuff was said over discord when Daniel's server was marketed as a shit-posting-edgy server. The server literally had the Jewish flag and the swastika as emoticons at one point and had lots of users posting Hitler and WW2 memes. When Discord updated their terms of service, Daniel completely overhauled his server to comply with the new rules that Discord put into place. This is no place absolves what I said about Jews, Nazi's, etc, but I was not being serious. I was joking and my comments about Nazi's and Jew's was my attempt to be edgy for the sake of being offensive. It is not a representation of what I really think or feel. I'm so sorry if what I said truly hurt anyone. I will be better. There is also a photo of me wearing a WW2 helmet which was taken by my ex-friend at a house party. That helmet had a small swastika on the side of it. I wasn't even aware of that until after the photo, but the now ex-friend has been passing that around claiming I'm a real Nazi from a photo he took of me. It's extremely disingenuous, but wanted to address it regardless.
Wishing Harm: I said I wished someone would get raped, and it is beyond fucked up that I would say that about anyone. It was wrong and I'm so sorry for saying something as vile as that. There is no damn excuse. I reacted out of pure emotion and pain due to my ex-friend, screwing with my boyfriend's real life family, sending false info to Onision, and lying about me. My gut reaction when hurt is to lash out and say things I don't mean, and its something I've been working on since the start of the year to be better at. I also mentioned how I hope she gets swatted. Again, there is no excuse. What I said was wrong and I'm so sorry for not being able to control my reactionary response. I would never, truly, want anyone to experience the trauma of being raped or harmed. I'm sorry and will be better.
I also want to apologize to Daniel, my boyfriend, as he has been getting dragged for things I've said or done. He is in no way responsible for the things I've said or done, only I am. Some stuff was even before we started dating. It's not fair to him that people apply things I've said or done to represent him. Daniel has always been very vocal and patient with me about where I've done wrong and how to be better, but I've been a stubborn bitch who wouldn't listen. Over time, it has really come back to bite me in my ass, and rightfully so. We're all accountable for the things we do individually. To put blame on other people for my actions, responses, or behaviors isn't right, myself included. I'm sorry. I will be better.
Spreading Nudes: This one is a bit messy, but it keeps getting thrown around. An ex-friend of mine released my nudes, and in retaliation, I posted hers. This wrong for a wrong mentality I did doesn't make what I did in retaliation okay. I reacted out of immaturity. I totally fucked up, and I'm so sorry. There is no excuse, I was wrong for doing that and will never do something like that again. It's a toxic cycle to get stuck into, and I'm guilty of it. I will be better.
In no way do I condone any actions or words I've said, its all wrong. I don't condone racism, homophobia, or transphobia, and believe in equal rights for everyone. There is so much joy in the world and I've definitely have not brought much of that into the world from my past. I'm truly sorry for that. I got in contact with a therapist last month to help with dealing with how I respond to situations that involve being hurt or angry. Through this therapy process I'm working on bettering myself and using better coping mechanisms for how I react and respond. I want to apologize to everybody who I may have hurt in the past months or years whether I knew you personally or not. I have some serious issues with how I react to situations, and want to dedicate the rest of this year to improving my mental health in a way that will be positive and uplifting to everyone who follows me.
I know words can only mean so much and at the end of the day, so you don't have to accept my apology. I've done & said things in my past I'm not proud of and am striving to be better & grow as a person. There are a select few people in my past who don't want to see me grow or progress as a person, but I know that I will. To the people who have been supportive of me behind the scenes, gave me honest, sincere advice, thank you so much. I appreciate you all for reading this and I promise that the words I've written today will align with my behavior in the future. I will be better.