Translation of EFFECT's 2019 Letter
This year has been the toughest and longest one in my life,
with poor performances of the team as well as myself, troubles with my family and my now-ex partner, deteriorating physical and mental health followed by attention and hate from people.
My belief that I could achieve anything if I put my heart into it had been proven to be my ignorance, my will which I believed would last had quickly collapsed after repeated hardships.
All that's left of me at the end of the year 2018 I suppose, are my depressed, exhausted and always-negative self, a pair of pretty hands trained with nothing but game practices, lost of supporters and a good number of haters as well.
In the year 2019;
Regarding Overwatch, I will find my spot as a pro player with the help of my teammates and coaches. As a team member who's sworn to trust each other, I will listen to them to find a compromise between us. I will find a way to becoming a member of a successful team as a whole, rather than as a single star player.
My trashy mental condition will be helped with other hobbies and by relying on other people whom I can trust. So far I've been simply pushing myself with practices, but I started to fear that I might make an irreversible choice. So I will now take of the mask as a tough guy. I've been holding this back because of the social standards and all, but my inner identity is more like a woman than a man. So I'm going to have to ask you Korean fans to stop calling me king-jaji (big dxxk). It's really humiliating and drives me crazy even though I've been pretending it's not. I'm just starting to get used to it but I'd still rather you not say that. Though, I wouldn't stop if you'd particularly insist.
I'm writing this mostly for myself who is exhausted in the middle of others attention, then for the fans and people around me who care for me, and then for the haters awaiting my collapse. I've already come too far to run or hide, so I'd just let lovers love and haters hate.
I deeply thank all of you who have supported me through the year, and I also thank as well as apologize to you haters even though you've been such a cancer.
Happy holidays to you all and I will see you next year.
p.s. Stop asking me if I'm alright, because it's really awkward to say that I'm not.