Reassessing my stance on the CC


You may recall that, about a month ago, I announced my departure from the CC. I listed excess drama and vitriolic tendencies as being my key reasons for doing so. Today, I'm making this post to reassess my thoughts on the CC, now that I've had some more time to really think about my decision.

After spending a month outside the CC and really giving myself a chance to look at the community from the outside, it really isn't as bad as I made it seem to be. The vast majority of the CC are well-meaning individuals who are here to provide criticism and reasonable debate. There's really only a small minority of people I'd consider toxic. I was wrong to make such a flagrant generalization based on that small minority, and it's quite unfortunate that many unfamiliar with the CC judge it based on that minority as well. So yes, I have reversed my opinion that there's too much vitriol and drama in the CC, as the drama only centers around the toxic few.

That being said, I still stand by some of my statements in my "Why I left the CC" video.

I still stand behind my argument that the definitions of "commentator" and "commentary" are very loose, thus the boundaries of the CC will always be arbitrary. The only clear designations are retired commentators and commentators who wish not to be considered part of the CC. Yes, those people do exist, and not everyone who makes commentaries in the style of the CC should automatically be considered part of it. Not to mention, there's multiple definitions of the CC as well, and they also tend to use cutaway segments to provide commentary just like we do. So where do the boundaries lie?

I still stand behind my defense of Sugarp1e1. Yes, doxxing will always be a bad thing, regardless of intentions. That's why SickKirby lost his reputation back in 2012. However, Sugarp1e1 herself even admitted she was in the wrong. So why do I still see people so unwilling to forgive what she did? Do we even know if the person she accidentally doxxed was adversely affected by this? I'm not saying what she did was right, but I don't think she deserves to still be chastised for what she did (especially since she herself regrets it). You seriously can't be this cold to someone over honest mistakes. Would you want to be treated that way?

Now I wish to address something I haven't addressed before, which is what I now consider to be the real reason I left the CC.

I joined the CC back in 2011 because I wanted to feel like a part of the community. It was my dream to eventually get to know YBF91, MSkull01, SavageBroadcast, and so many other great commentators I watched. However, ever since MSkull01 slandered me in 2012 by calling me a homophobe (and everyone else jumped on that bandwagon of hate), I felt alienated by the community I wanted to become a part of. Nobody really ever wanted to talk to me or associate with me. The only reason YBF91 did was because, even at that point, we were friends.

When Mills Kohai and others commentated on my terrible Mike Matei commentary in 2014, I responded well to all the criticism I received (despite my initial fear), and I was commended for being civil. However, when that whole Dillin brouhaha began in 2017, barely anyone came to my defense. I felt like I was abandoned and left for the wolves. It didn't help that I was also undergoing some serious tension in my personal life at the same time. The comments I got the most were of people launching personal attacks, throwing blind hate in my face, sending threats, an image of one of my own characters being strangled, and people telling me I had no right to talk about what I was talking about. And what did the CC do to help me? Nothing. Not one single thing.

Maybe it's possible that I was ignored because nobody else wanted to get involved. Maybe people had other things to worry about. Maybe people thought I could handle it myself. However, I will never understand why nobody in the CC helped me when I really needed it most. I was alienated once more. That, my friends, is why I left. To quote UTD, "I didn't leave the CC. The CC left me."

Hopefully this post has made things clearer. I apologize that my initial response was so rife with misguided anger. I have no intentions of throwing hatred at the CC; I'm just here to explain why I separated myself from it. Thank you for reading, and have a good day.

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