Jin's HOTS experience
Hey Jin here and this is essentially going to be my donezo manifesto. Unfortunately, as much as I'd absolutely LOVE to, I can't go all out because I'd like to play competitively in esports in another game, so I cannot give you guys the REALEST post in the world, but I'm gonna be pretty fucking real for what I can say because there are a lot of SUPER fake people in the NA scene (elhaym is not one of them) and I'm not gonna leave being one of them, ok here's my experience in HOTS.
skylar told me i should come play HOTS, i said ok sounds fun new experience, game was ok, had fun on a team with him, learned shit, tiger gets me kicked cause I called him out on shit and i wasn't that good at the game cause i was new, w/e. played on a bunch of subpar teams and was never really very good, played with XD and people were kinda pissy but overall I had the most fun on that team compared to any cause we could actually talk to each other like people so that was sick. skylar said come join hgc and I was like ok our scrims weren't great vs you guys anyway and I wanted to play with skylar so I join, thassit for amateur.
worst team environment I've ever been on in any team through any game i've played in my life, nobody wants to talk about the game or to each other, arrive when scrims start, leave when they end, depression. get scapegoated for a bunch of shit, start losing my cool a bit, kubie leaves because fuck this shit lol, equi leaves because fuck this shit, jason prob left cause fuck this shit. skylar did his best, good player and kept his cool, respect considering everything, we pick up aka and roleswap tom, first choice was toby but he said nah cause he wanted to stay with his brother, understandable. shoulda got nintorii or elhaym in hindsight just didn't work out different people. bascially I 2v1'd in arguments for a good while about how I thought we should function as a team, 2 disagree 2 impartial, just didn't rly want anything to do with it, I understand everyone has their own shit going on so I can't really complain too much, but we were never a team, in the game, out of the game, at all. we could never agree on anything, never got anywhere just repeated the same shit over and over again in our conflicts and eventually I got severely depressed that I had to show up and scrim in this shit day by day, really not going to go into the specific arguments and what they were about or who i think was ''right or wrong'', think that's a little pointless considering everyone has their own bias and perspective so there's really no purpose. basically I thought i was right, they thought I was wrong, so we brought in coach bois. legend was a helpful lad but I don't think half the team gave a shit about anything he had to say. aka was a pretty wild dude but he had his good moments, didn't play the game much but he did approach me on his own and try to work shit out between us despite our disagreements, and I appreciate & respect that. J and i were polar opposite people. tom is nice guy, we just didn't see eye to eye on how a team should function. skylar is kool, don't agree with his decision regardless of its' effect on me but w.e. chrisi is really nice btw :), eventually I stopped being capable of being the teammate I really wanted to be due to all this stress, which was one that could consistently motivate and provide direction for my teammates to be able to improve on a consistent basis. I had worked my ass off passionately for months prepping hard for every series playing the game a shit ton as well as studying the game to a large extent, basically the shit you should be doing as a pro player minimum. anyway I had to facilitate most of the debates & arguments to actually get my team somewhere, skylar helped out occasionally with keeping people's shit together and in line, myself included as I definitely lost myself occasionally along the way. coaches got tired of the bullshit, everyone basically knew this roster had no fucking future at all as 5, I said get me off drafting cause I didn't feel my teammates gave a shit, i also was so burnt out at this point from everything that I couldn't really deal with the responsibility on top of all the stress anymore.
I'm not perfect by any means and I made a fuck ton of mistakes along the way, don't get me wrong. I said things I regret, I could have worked even harder, I could have let some things go, but I was put in the shittiest situation and this was the worst fucking period of my life besides my mom dying and I guess my parent's divorce.. I hated my life for many months, I absolutely wanted to snap uninstall the game and never come back right in the middle of the split. I shoulda left after the first split once I saw who we were keeping, my mistake, we were just never going to work together well, not happening man, tabbing out during draft every single game, asking me what map it is when we're drafting, btw there was some reddit thread where some lies were said about me and shit, would not believe random shit people say, In fact, don't believe anything I'm saying, not like i'm gonna give evidence or something.
ok that's all, about as much as I'm gonna say, really no need to get more into it than that, I couldn't stand this environment and I figured i'd let you guys know what you're getting into (looking at you HGC teams) as well as ya'll curious dudes out there here's your ''juicy'' shit I guess, I wanted to write more shit but I looked into my heart and realized it's dead and gone and I'm just gonna move on rather than go that deep. probably going to get at least some responses to this that are full of lies, bullshit, straight up anger, or something about how I wanted to be the michael jordan of hots or some shit, I might respond just to clear things up but overall would rather be straight outta here asap lol, really didn't say anything that bad anyway.
btw I got kicked, I was about to leave anyway because I didn't wanna play anymore, so I had planned on retiring regardless because I actually just can't stand playing hots, but yeah, there u go, I'm totally fine with it lol, I asked a few teams if they felt like trying me out because I wanted to see if they would or not, in retrospect I do not wanna be a paycheck chaser so for the 3rd I pretty much said nvm but doubt they'd want me anyway, other 2 said no, which I get completely, I'm only good at things I truly love and I hate this game. I'm ok with this~
here's some things I did so people don't respond to me all mad and trying to say shit about me as much, might as well get it out of the way.
I wasn't the nicest guy in HL, i was pretty fucking honest with my feelings and sometimes I let a lil loose, not like insane but some people don't like me.
yes I lost my cool sometimes and to be honest it was PRETTY warranted in my situation but I said things that I shouldn't anyway, nothing too insane really just some unkind shit that wasn't necessary, some of it i regret some of it I don't. every1 makes mistake.
uhh, idk, I have a lot of things I could have done better, I made so many mistakes, trust me I've learned from every experience I've had here. I'm gonna use all of it in my future, actually specific shoutout to taliant, kinda got me a breakthrough somehow on that.. uh yeah, I feel a lot better now, I'm happy.
Ok shoutouts cause I'm leaving hots scene let's goo
Kawaiirice comes first, my closest friend in all of HOTS, one of the smartest people in the entire scene, knows more about this game than every fucking HL player out there trust me, and is worthy of being a coach in a top HGC team, really smart & really good person, insane amount of love thanks so much for personally coaching me while i was on NT and giving me somebody to rant to about shit, you know my adventures :)
Kala is a really sweet guy who has been nothing but good to me, helped me out, talked me up a lot and was just such a good guy, thanks so much man was awesome meeting you at clash and I'll miss you.
Gilly is so pure, seriously a beacon of positivity something the scene drastically needs, she is so deserving of her role in HOTS and I hope you find all the happiness you could ever want, sweetest person ever.
HGC Teams: thanks a bunch to those of you who gave me advice, were generally kind to me, helped me when I was down, everything. There's a lot of good eggs in this scene, appreciate them. (ishboo, drated, zabumafu, lutano, goku, justing, fury, droplets, all of TF in general actually, nazmas, uhh.. mcintyre I respect a lot, bbj I respect, cattle thank you respect, all of TS & HHE lots of respect and thanks for being cool dudes, hosty good guy good player, skylar, uhh, I'm probably forgetting one or two people, thanks for shoutout nessper we had sum beef but i admire your hard work no fake actually, uh zergling's a fairly smart dude, I love you nintorii, you a lil cocky (like me :)) but you're actually so wholesome to me and I really appreciate you, you're good at the game keep it up man. homi i'm pretty back and forth on, but I had a lotta laughs with you on XD fun guy. trees no idea how you feel about me but I miss talking to you, first time we really talked on comms we just chatted for hours at night and that was special to me, thanks. cover got a hella hot head but you were lotsa fun still. ok thanks
dreadnaught is a good caster and a smart guy pls appreciate him, really intelligent and good dude.
kubie thx you're sweet and you tried your best man
equinox gave me another guy to vent to and was super real, never fake. I understand why you didn't wanna play hots man, me either really hope you find happiness.
legend of course I'm really thankful thanks for trying, giving notes on all our scrims and calling people out on shit, me included, uh if this guy wants to keep coaching hgc teams after this one if he's done any time soon or just in the future in general, he is intelligent & a nice person, a good friend of mine. he was not biased even tho I was the one who suggested he come onto the team to help us out, respek.
PLEASE PICK UP ELHAYM HGC TEAMS ((((((ELHAYMELHAYMELHAYMELHAYM))))))
PICK UP ELHAYM
HUGE BRAIN PLS RESPEK THIS MAN he has his own shit to work on like every1 but he is passionate he ACTUALLY LOVES HOTS and he's a fucking shotcall brain dude PICK HIM UP ok thanks love u mark one of my fave teammates to ever work with, wish we played last split ahhhhhh sorry LOL...
HEY every single one of you on twitter reddit or the bnet client (HL or friends or w/e), who messaged me and said hey Jin lots of respect, you are inspirational, I hope you do good things, bla bla bla, thank you so much honestly, before i was any sort of ''public figure'' as in people might actually know who I am a bit, I never considered that it'd actually mean much to me to hear things like that cause it's so ''generic''.. but it really did, I've wanted to cry from reading these kind messages before It really lifts me up, fucking love you guys everyone in my dm's or who tweeted at me hey EVERYONE AT HEROESHYPE you are all SUPER cool passionate people, really fucking kind and god I really appreciated you guys doing everything you've done, lots to name but yeah all of you. srsly,
allyeska is so nice, thanks so much :) gj kala lucky guy, also lucky girl, kala's great.
for the people i got along with in HL, thanks for the good times, looking at u hao you're cool bro.
I think i'm missing people sorry just writing from my head.
to all of you who are glad I'm retiring, say I didn't do shit, thought I wasn't going to do shit before I did at least some shit, or want to make fun of me for how little shit I did, I don't give a HOOT what u think cause I'm outta this bitch and I gained valuable life experience GL suckers no regrets (mostly)
SHOUTOUT TO FRIENDZONE and past teammates lz & taliant as well, such nice dudes lots of love and respect for your guys' mental.
harry drake mfoo spagoot gr8 manager gclean nicest individual, trap you're nuts but hella fun lol, astabroth sick shotcaller from what I heard, woulda been cool to play with you and pick eachother's brains
4 guys and a legend had the best structure of any team i was on don't sleep on that shit boy (too bad we sukd)
Ok i'm done, I'm gonna go play league of legends i'll tell you guys if I make it or not, going to put all my fucking heart into it this time, no regrets. gonna study & shit and prob work soon idk we'll see, cya guys thanks for all the good times over 2 yrs <3
fk formatting baby