ShadowChair · @ShadowChair
26th Sep 2018 from TwitLonger
No longer on LG
I am no longer the mid for Luminosity. When I first joined the team, we were winning a decent amount and looked solid, but we quickly started losing almost every single scrim, and after week 1, every SPL game. It was becoming more and more apparent that we were not making progress towards becoming a winning team, and the season is quickly coming to a close with our SWC hopes on the line. After our loss against eUnited 2-0 in week 4, the team decided they wanted to try playing with Geno in mid and a brand new support. Change was necessary at this point, so I was not overly surprised, but I also think a roster change is not the only kind of change a team can make to kind of "reset" and find themselves again. The tryouts went well regardless, and the team chose to go with Inbowned as support, and I am no longer going to be playing for Luminosity.
Obviously this is pretty shitty for me, especially since LAN is just around the corner and it's been a goal of mine for years to play at a LAN in Smite, but unfortunately that won't be happening this year. At the same time, it's almost a relief for me to be done for this year. With losing nearly every scrim, the team environment definitely started to deteriorate over the weeks. I didn't respond well to the atmosphere and it greatly affected my play, which I believe was the biggest reason I struggled with reaching my potential. It became a drag to scrim and lose, and playing SPL to be 2-0'd again and again just felt miserable. I wish I could have stayed mentally strong throughout the split and constantly been improving myself, but my confidence took a hit every day and I feel like I am nowhere near the player I can be anymore. I need a big break from playing competitively to just play casually and regain that confidence and become SPL ready again, so in a way, being replaced on LG will likely be healthier for me in the long run.
Speaking of becoming SPL ready again, I will most likely try to play again next year, whether it is minor league or pro league. I want to take the time before next season to just work on myself 100%, because I have to be stronger with both my in-game play and especially my mentality. Having another situation like this split where I can't honestly say I was proud or even satisfied with my play in any SPL game is not something I want to deal with again. I know I can be so much better than I showed this year, but I need to prove it to everybody.
I have nothing against the lads of Luminosity, it was nothing personal (kid) and I wish them the best of luck for the rest of the split and at LAN. I wish it all went differently.