About Cloud9 and my future.
Hey everyone, I will separate this twitlonger into two parts with tldr - one about my time with cloud9 and one about my future
CLOUD9 - We mutually agreed to not continue with each other.
So, as you probably heard from other social media news I have been stand-in for Cloud9 while still under contract with mousesports. I was on loan until end of September. This loan is ending a bit earlier though, as Cloud9 guys decided to try out another player for BLAST Istanbul. It is completely understandable as during my time under Cloud9 banner we didn’t perform all that well. After all, we only won 2 maps on LAN (damn that hurts to even think about it, I am sorry)… 2 maps over 3 LAN tournaments is just unacceptable. I just want to point out that I am not mad at them at all. The thing is, after player break I went to Los Angeles to bootcamp with Cloud9 at their facility. I was determined to get this contract. I was putting insane hours into the game and I remember crossing 130hours mark in less than 14 days of bootcamping there. I was playing ton of FPL/DM, practicing daily with the team and watching games from other tournaments to see how other teams perform after break. For some reason I lost this feeling of “wanting more” when we arrived to Denmark, Copenhagen to RFRSH offices for our Europe bootcamp. That was 1 week prior to the Major. I have no idea why I lost it, I talked about it with my manager and briefly with our psychologist. I didn’t feel like part of the team for some reason. I am not saying I was or wasn’t, it just felt that way (and it’s just me to blame, no one else). Maybe failing qualifier to IEM Chicago got to me. It was tough loss, I felt really bad for not only failing my team but whole Cloud9 community and fans. It was a must win and we just failed to deliver. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I stopped caring about CS I just stopped giving my 100% into preparation for major.
Anyway, let’s talk about Major itself, and reasons why I won’t be continuing with Cloud9.
At the Major we worked as good as we could. Trying to be on point individually and building gameplans for our opponents. But the more we played, more lost I felt. Since Cloud9 added Golden into the roster he obviously became our leader. It was different. Golden is great leader and leader, it’s just his style that is so hard for me to learn. 3 years ago I became a pro player and ever since I was put into positions that benefits rather slow playstyle. I was too passive for what Golden needed me. I was struggling making quick and proactive / reactive decisions in clutches, 4v5 or 5v5 scenarios. It ALWAYS took me like 2 more seconds to figure out the correct play that we want to use. I wasn’t on the same page at all. This is the reason of our poor Major performance, I feel like. I was doing tons of mistakes. Even when we faced HellRaisers, everyone wrote me I did great job ingame, I had good stats etc. Shut up. That really pissed me off. This game isn’t about stats. I was making mistakes every second round, mistakes that cost us the rounds and therefore could cost us the match. You can easily lose the game while having insane stats, it’s just as easy as winning the game while having bad stats.
After the Major I wrote to my coach. I told him everything how I feel about the team. I told him that I personally don’t think that players think I am the best possible pickup. If that is true they should seek other options. That happened and they found someone else and I wish them luck they will work together well. I personally didn’t feel like I 100 per cent want to be a part of Cloud9 and as soon as I don’t feel sure I am not going to commit to it. That’s just the way I am.
TLDR1: No hard feelings between me or C9, I couldn’t adapt to the style Golden wanted to present and play. There is no one to blame but me and I am in no place to make excuses.
ABOUT MY FUTURE - This part is going to be way shorter.
The reason I am about to write only few lines is because I have no idea. Facts are I am still in contract with mousesports and I am willing to put everything into the game if I get approached by organisation/people I feel like we will perform well. If you would like to contact me with offers, feel free to do so over twitter DMs or my email firstname.lastname@example.org. Also you can contact mousesports management as they are responsible for the transfers. I am also open to playing for NA team. Now that we get these “boring” parts out of the way I want to point out that I know I am capable of great things. I want to compete in the best tournaments and Majors. I love this game and I am not planning on quitting the scene, as some people mentioned. I will take couple weeks off to figure things out and make the best decision I can out of offers that will cross my path. I am also open to going back into mousesports active lineup if they feel like I am what they need. There is no bad blood between us either (I hope).
TLDR2: Open to offers (NA, EU, hell I think I can speak russian ingame aswell :D ), Open to stand-in for teams that need it, open to coming back to mousesports. Taking few weeks off to play individually and not lose shape or sense of meta. I won’t be taking weeks off if good offer comes up, I am ready to jump in and play.
Last words: Huge thanks to all NA fans that welcomed me into Cloud9 family with open heart. I know people were sceptical, I am not greatest player alive but I left my heart in that blue jersey and I do not regret anything. Also thank you, my dear fans all over the world that keep sending positive messages no matter what circumstances are ahead of me. Thank you Jack, Tim, Tyler, Will, Tarik, Soham, Mike, David and JJ for putting trust into me. You made me not only better player but better person aswell. I will always shake hands with you and think about you in positive memories. Special shoutout to few friends I made in LA in my short time being there, especially Mateus and Rissa for being meme lords.