THE STOP ASKING ME ABOUT WEIRD SONG SHOP SHIT LONG TWEET

Long tweet alert. In the frame of reference of this Kickstarter I wanted to address something that’s been driving me nuts for a while. Keep in mind this is a slight diversion from me sort of doing a happy dance that so many people have supported and backed our Kickstarter… and this tweet is actually a response to ONE SINGLE QUESTION we were sent out of many kind, thoughtful ones. It’s actually very uncommon at this point but only because I’ve put my stomach in knots answering this same query for far too long.
I’ve had some “upset” customers come after me for years over a couple of things involving Song Shop, which I still do and is a love of my life. I think it’s time to put them to bed as we move forward for the sake of everyone who has bought a song and loved it, or is giving to this Perma project knowing they’re going to get some rad music in return. At this point, this is me avoiding triggering stuff, taking responsibility but at the same time being like…. okay. Fucking ENOUGH!

I’ve been doing Song Shop for more than ten years. That’s the project where I write full-on songs for fans of my music. I mean full-on songs with varied arrangements, different “flavors” and tons of heart put into them. There is no way to actually quantify the emotion, time, and passion I’ve poured into them. Really! It is for real. I’ve put in days and days and days and months and endless sweat and blood into them. Like any real piece of art, even those surrounding me have had to watch me tough it out in the trenches for this project. That’s hard on them too, so I’m a bit sensi about this subject. Let me.
Whoever buys the songs deserves them. And the project will continue. Where did it come from? Not only was it becoming tough to be a musician monetarily and still is for many people, I started to realize the music business was becoming bullshit. Before it even really fell apart. That musicians were asking too much money for shit that was not personalized, and then eventually something you could pretty much get for free online anyway. It gives me douche chills to think about trying to wring money out of people’s pockets for anything other then their honest need to support my family, their convenience, or some kind of artifact, experience (like a live show or a song shop song) or emotional connection they couldn’t GET ANYWHERE ELSE. I still buy music but either as a physical thing, a directly emotional thing, or just to support the artist (like buying a record digitally or even supporting this Kickstarter). But I’m a Spotify dude and I love it. I am happy this all happened.

Now Song Shop isn’t a perfectly oiled machine because, at least in the (blech) scene we were kind of the first people to do that shit. I kind of do it on my own and have handled the personal interactions for every single dispute or problem up until very recently when I decided I couldn’t handle it anymore and FELL APART as a guy. Song Shop is the missing puzzle piece as to why I flipped out and made my last record and called it quits on my former lifestyle.

We certainly have had to refund a few customers for them not liking a song (which blows for me, because we said we have a “kind of no refunds” policy that we loosely abide by), I’ve had literal mental breakdowns trying to get the songs done (see the song Daze) while juggling my family and other commitments. IT’S STILL WORTH IT ON MANY LEVELS. But it’s tough, and I’ve even been accused (still am, hence this diatribe) of heinous things, especially back in the dark days when Jonny Craig or whoever was selling stolen laptops to his fans. I get it. There are a lot of people with bad intentions out there. However, I’m not one of them; Song Shop has been above and beyond one of my proudest accomplishments in life. I’d like to think we’re all allowed our “ask our fans to send us one dollar for a lyric booklet and don’t sent them for ten years” moment. It’s been rough on indie bands.

I’ve gotten to know that my fans are people like me and vice versa. I’ve gotten to be the personal soundtracks to heartbreak. Some have had the kindness to tell me that a Song Shop song “saved their lives” (you saved your own life but I’m glad I could help) or helped them work through something serious in a personal relationship. Or it maybe just felt really fucking cool to have your own song by me about you. I would too if it was a musician I loved. Thus, charging money for the songs feels appropriate considering I have to support myself and my family. I can back it. I don’t feel an iota of regret. I’m pissed I even have to say this again, to be honest.

Clearly, I do feel hurt and anger. I have an already scheduled therapist appointment in twenty minutes and you can bet I’m trying to work my way past it and be positive. Let’s examine.
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Somewhere in the middle of Song Shop’s tenure I offered to do a phone call for EVERY SONG thanking people for buying a song. A bonus supplement to the song itself. I do crazy shit and thought I could handle it because I do love talking to my supporters even though it makes me nervous. I ended up personally calling HUNDREDS of Say Anything/Me fans and had tons of amazing and awkward and beautiful conversations. But when we had kids, it became too much. Literally, in spirit and for my schedule.
I realized I had to pull out of finishing the calls but still send all the songs. Certainly, it was a bummer, and I went through some dumb self-loathing over it. I certainly am sorry, but I did my best. But you can only apologize so many times. I will remind anyone reading this that this was basically a Perk that, at least in the eyes of what I would personally consider any logical person, would be seen as less important than the SONG ITSELF. These Phone Calls things also didn’t cost any more or less than the normal Song Shop song and was, thus, completely free and thus financially irrelevant to the whole thing except for in spirit, which we’ve covered.

Since then I’ve been working on a way to make that up to the people that bought the songs. I still have the list somewhere of the small percentage of people out of ALL THE SONGS who didn’t get called and even were involved with the phone call thing (or, to be honest, cared in the first place about them or didn’t kind of feel weird talking to some random Jewish sweaty guy). I STILL intend to make a special piece of music for those people. It has been BRUTAL and I want the gift to be cool and not throwaway so I haven’t done it yet. I will on my own time.
However, given the situation, I don’t feel that I owe much beyond the intention to do that, and any accusatory energy coming at me or my family in relation to the Kickstarter or anything else I do in the future can take a swift trip up me bum and fly off somewhere far away now. I’ve discussed this before and now I basically will refuse to do so again after this. After what I’ve put myself through to be the best guy I can be and get all those songs to people, and I do mean including what they would call a nervous breakdown in the 1950’s (you can read all about it on the Say Anything site, or in fact, deduce that from the fact that my band is now over partially because of the monotony and stress of not standing up to haters and people like this because I’m sensitive and normal and….okay.)
So, for all the SANE, NICE people reading this, know there has and will never be a problem with the eventual and frequently plentiful fulfillment of things that I create or do. Thousands of shows, songs written for Song Shop, hugs between me and my supporters, hours spent worrying that I’m doing the right thing by the people who believe in my music, and every choice I’ve had to make that contrasts people I believe lack integrity or honesty is kind of all I have to show that. If that’s not enough for you, I have to draw the line and flip the bird right now. Because the past few days all the love and support pouring into this Kickstarter proves these few angry, insecure people wrong more than anything I can ever do. And the whole point of doing this is saying goodbye to that kind of energy. So, again, GOODBYE.

I know that you understand the very awesome and explicit arrangement for this Kickstarter. The albums are free. Making them costs money. The people donating to the Kickstarter are helping everyone get them for free by being a part of the process (which is how Kickstarter works). Even the haters get the album for free.
Now I’m going to go get cleansed and take a psychological shower. Rock on.
Thank you,
Max

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