ScreaM · @nV_ScreaM_

22nd Jun 2018 from TwitLonger

Last 2 years

Hey everyone!

I dont usually do this, but I should write abit about all this situation and the last 2 years as a player. (my point of view)

First of all, it started with G2 replacing me. It was by far one of the worst thing that happened to me in my career. I really got it as a surprise, I gave alot of efforts individually and felt good in that team. But apparently it wasnt enough..
I was kinda worried about my future.. I was down mentally and lost my confidence pretty much.

I finally end up with EnvyUs one of the biggest name on CS. I had really high hopes in that team, hungry as always, but I realised that I was still hurt about G2. I kept questioning myself, changing my style, because I thought I wasnt good enough. I think im quite a emotional person/player. So it really affected my level in the start.

We had one of the worst run with EnvyUs, I feel ashamed today because of that. Sometimes we were so close to do good things but at the end It just didnt happen. We had fights everyday basically, about stupid things, arguing all the time. We couldnt share our thoughts and move forward without getting mad and screaming at eachother. I was so dissapointed about that. I couldnt really bring my experience to the team at all. But I kept trying to stay motivated, and be the best version of myself. But the conditions were just not optimal for someone like me to perform at his best. But still, I gave all I had and I dont have regrets as a player, because I couldnt do anything else or more to make it better.
I feel like we just killed the team with bad atmosphere and negativity.
. If I had to resume 2017 in one word, it would be - Frustration

After the first year we tried to change the team a little bit by bringing more experience to the team. kioShiMa was a really big hope for us, as he played for FaZe and could bring new things to the table ! But even with better players on the paper, the situation was still the same or even worse(?) we had a really bad chemisty, alot of roles problems. In 2018 I always played a role I didn’t enjoy at all. But it was nothing forced, I did it myself because no one else really wanted/could do it. I usually am the guy who kills/revenge. But I basically was the support of the team and All I was thinking about is flashing for my mates. I never had a problem with nades, but yeah I dont think that this role fits me. I lost my confidence with my aim pretty fast. I dont blame anyone, we just had alot of similar players that wanted to do the same thing inside the team. So someone had to do this.

A few months later, we finally take the decision to stop playing with Happy. We thought his leading and his gamestyle was not working out for this team. players didn’t enjoy and werent used at their full potential. So we wanted to give it a try without him. See how things would be.

But unfortunetaly, we didnt have much of time to do that, we got a really bad news by our organisation. EnvyUs decides to release the entire team. It was abit expected but still felt pretty bad to hear it.

Anyways, We still wanted to try it out at #CAC2018, we had an invitation and we still believed we could do something there. RpK didnt want to come, he was just tired after all these problems. He needed a break. And I can understand that! We end up with XMS and SIXER instead.

Everything went pretty smooth there, we played way better. Even tho we did alot of individual mistakes. I didn’t enjoy playing CS as a team in a long time.
I feel like we played actual CS. We were patient, instead of pushing ourselves to a death. It was very different. Players got more space to shine individually. I got abit of my confidence back aswell!
(Credits to kioShiMa for his first tournament as a ingame leader)

I don’t know what the future will bring. I don’t know if we will keep playing together. But for now...
Im a free Agent. Open to all offers. Hungry for headshots 👊🏽

Thanks to EnvyUs for their support, and their patient for such a long time. I truly understand their decision. And big thanks to one of the coolest boss out there - Mike ‘’hastr0’’ ❤️

For those who are reading this, I love you. Your support is always a very big motivation to me. You can expect more streaming btw!

Peace, see you soon ✌🏽

Reply · Report Post