I never thought I do one of these cause I always thought its kinda cliche, but this is regarding the goodbye gif I posted yesterday.
First off, thanks for those who were concerned, but I am not intending to inflict self-harm or anything of the sort. I have merely decided to take a step back from the hots scene, because I don't think I can handle another season of open without compensation being one year out of graduation from university.
It was unfortunate that I was unable to make it to HGC with my team King's Gambit, and unfortunate that I was unable to impress any HGC teams to pick me up. Although from this journey I think I have learned a lot, primarily it is to always ask, be aggressive at what you want.
I have always taken a passive approach, and thought that if I prove I am as good as I think I am, eventually people will notice and approach me. Reality of the matter is, no one will care about you as yourself, the general player base doesn't consistently pay attention to open anyways. To those who want to break it into HGC, I think it is important to practice, but practice with a purpose and a goal in mind, rather than just mindlessly playing games. Continue to network, and it is super important to maintain your appearance and other's perception of you, and most of all, ask for help.
I think the amateur gap is slowly closing, and people are getting better, but there is still unfortunately a gap. It is mind boggling if you think about it that the only team to actually win through crucible is HeroesHearth, and they had already contained very knowledgeable players. Ask for help when you need it, and prove yourself, everyone has been similar shoes one point or another so they will be willing to help. Eventually you will get better scrims, better practice, and become better as a team if you keep an open mind to all suggestions and advice.
I would like to thank Ekevin LF GF O=('-'Q) and Etoby, they were always good dudes, and listened to one of my many rants very often. I wish them the best of luck next split, and hope to see them break into the HGC. Also, Aether for helping me realize the realities in life ^_^ and also to everyone else who help me get this far :D
With that being said, I probably will still end up playing the game casually, and might be back at another try at competitive in the future if I have the time and energy. For now, I am just merely stepping back and taking a break cause I do feel a bit burnt out from this game being so close multiple times at obtaining what I am passionate about ¯\_(ツ)_/¯