Different people from different times in my life have opposite views of me, and they're both justified.
I haven't tried to dedicate myself to do good things just because, i have skeletons. I come from a very depraved life with no immediate family or guidance and made it worse with online communities, and that's what i was, a depraved toxic shit who hated everybody and everything and sought out to hurt people, i blamed the world for my life and did nothing to change it. But that isn't who i am today, I've learned what it means to do good things the hard way, being evil, edgy, and self destructive.
I always get asked how i could or why i modded 24/7, because i pushed myself every day to do it, I didn't get paid to do it for 2 years, I did it because i didn't give myself a choice, I don't want to be that person i was, I want to do good things be nice and make people happy, turn my life around. Moderating wasn't just deleting comments to me, I interacted with communities privately and publicly, hundreds of thousands of messages in twitch channels, 99,000 in just Seagulls, helping and molding them, I put my heart and soul into it because it matters to me.
I've done a lot of good, and I've done a lot of bad. The good doesn't excuse the bad, but that evil person isn't who i am today. I made an effort to make a positive difference in the world, don't think there is another mod who has gone as far as i did, but it's over now. I am sincerely sorry to the people who i have hurt and disappointed, I am not that same person, I really hope people understand.