You might be wondering why I am leaving the team after such a short time, so for those who are im writing this
as well as to clarify a couple of things.
First I'd like to thank the owner and manager of CG for being very friendly and helpful. I have been in discussions with him for quite a long time already and we became quite close friends. He is working very hard to make things right and I wish him all the best in the future. He is definitely the one I hurt the most by doing this so...I feel really bad for him, but I am sure he is going to make it in the end as he always has.
Leaving so quickly might come as a shock to some. The reason why I left so quickly is that I had previously played with a couple of the members and was very sceptical towards them. We were all in different countries and regions,so before forming the team we did actually not have the chance to play together and test the waters, so once we started practicing things didn't go as planned. We didn't perform to my expectation and having in mind that I previously played with a couple of them, my mind instantly started playing tricks on me. What if we aren't good enough,what if things don't change for the better, what if this all was just a big mistake? After a week of practice and tournament play my trust in them was very shaky, now don't get me wrong most of them have won tournaments before or made it very deep into tournaments, they definitely have the ability to play well and with the right leadership they can make it far.
The fault really isn't with the team or the players, it's pretty much solely my fault. My mind kept playing with me and i turned quite negative towards the whole team as well as the management. I got very scared suddenly, anxious even. I made the entire atmosphere somewhat stressful and not very enjoyable to play under. Although I am not the only reason why the atmosphere wasn't optimal I was certainly one of the biggest. So I'd like to apologize to everyone that is or was involved in this situation.
I have made many bad choices with joining/leaving teams that I really regret.Even now. My guts tell me it's the right thing to do and I always went against what my guts told me in the past. Being loyal is a great attribute to have, but I learned you should never betray your own heart. I have a strong feeling that this if for the better. For myself and them.
I'll be trying to assist them with finding a new player and be there for them in case they need me. We are all friends outside and inside of DotA 2, simply cause we can't play together doesn't mean we hate each other.
I wanted to apologize once again to the people and team mates that might be disappointed because of what ended up happening and I am really sorry for how it went.
Concerning myself, there should be an announcement in the next couple of days regarding my future.
Thank you all for reading this and thanks for the continuous support you're giving me.