Mike McDonald · @MikeMcDonald89
1st Feb 2018 from TwitLonger
Wow its been a decade since I won my EPT! Here's a TL;DR summary of the journey
I meant to post this tomorrow but people have already started messaging me so I’ll post this a day early. Let me preface this by saying this IS NOT a retirement post or anything close to it. Poker is way too fun to ever retire.
10 years ago today I won EPT Dortmund and I want to reflect on several phases of my life and analyze my outlook going forth.
Pre-Dortmund:
I always have been and always will be a competitive nerd. I was one of the better mathletes in Canada, played chess at a decent level I even won the provincial physics competition despite not being enrolled in physics.
Poker was the first thing I ever poured 100% of myself into and the rise through the online poker ranks was one of most exciting experiences of my life. When people asked how many hours a week I spent on poker I didn't even really know how to answer since I didn't exercise, drink, cook, drive, have hobbies, have a girlfriend or even talk to many non-poker friends- but despite spending all my waking hours on it- it never felt like work. Pre-Dortmund I had achieved substantial success in both online tournaments and cash games and ran a successful stable with 10-20 high stakes horses.
Dortmund:
This was a defining moment in my poker career. I became not only the youngest EPT winner but the youngest winner of any major live event- both records which still stand today. This wasn't exactly life-changing but it very much cemented myself in a position where I felt as if I didn't really need to force myself to grind any time soon. There wasn't a major high-roller circuit in this era, EPTs barely had side events, I was years from playing in America and I had already played the highest stakes online for a while and it just felt as if there was no "next step".
I'll interject from the main flow of my story to comment a bit on the fame associated with poker. I'm a private, introverted person who in a million parallel universes may have never have become as visible as I've become in poker. I've spent my whole career dodging eye contact on breaks so as not to have to make too much small talk with fans, acquaintances, or even friends. That said I am endlessly thankful for the countless kind words over the years from people who say I've influenced their poker career in one form or another. Despite fame never being a motivator for me- when I have young pros tell me that me winning Dortmund inspired them to take up poker as a hobby, or transition to playing professionally it always makes me feel incredible. Thank you all so much. If I was a better writer I'm sure I could have incorporated this paragraph better- but there didn't seem to be a great place for it.
The next 2 years:
I largely lost the hunger and a decade later can confidently say I never got it back. Previously I logged many more hours playing/studying cash than tournies and my hourly in online cash was much higher than in online tournies but I prefered tournies and decided I could "afford" to not grind cash any more- this substantially hurt my long-term growth and profitability.
Beyond that I felt that financial gain/accomplishment/fame brought me less happiness than I envisioned. I've always been so goal-oriented and most conquered goals were replaced with loftier goals. After years of working at poker- I didn't really have a next goal but rather I had gotten out of shape, ate terribly, lost many friends- hell I had never kissed a girl. Many top players have this same sort of hyperfocus sickness which has allowed us to rise through the ranks at a quick rate- but all else ends up sacrificed along the way.
I continued travelling and playing poker with kind of a 70% type effort and while it went well I felt my obsession with poker restricted me from achieving other things.
2010-2011 "retirement"
I wrote a long blog post in 2010 where I mentioned my uncertainty about how to proceed with poker. The poker media said I'm retiring which still pisses me off to this day. I'll reiterate again to say no this is not a retirement post.
I returned to school for a year, barely played, exercised tons, got in great shape, met lots of cool people. During this time I reflected lots on myself and my experiences with poker regarding what I do/don't like about the game and what I do/don't like about how I treat the game and various effects it has had on my life.
My biggest conclusion was that the freedom this game brings is unparalleled but having such a high level of autonomy can be an intimidating opportunity. Very few people have the opportunity to literally do whatever they want whenever they want and it is incredibly difficult to weigh all of your priorities at once. Most of what I enjoyed about school are things I could do on my own: read more, form good life habits, stay in touch with more people etc. Beyond that I realized it feels a hell of a lot more meaningful playing shorthanded with Ivey, Negreanu and Seidel than it does trying to get the top marks in a random college class.
2011-2016 Return
I came back with the mentality to live a life where poker happens to be one component of it rather than letting poker become my life. I was quite rusty but ran hot for the last half of 2011, then 2012 I had a losing year. It was a very humbling experience but got me very motivated to where I felt I improved dramatically. Late 2012 through 2013 were great phases for my poker growth. 2013 started slow and then late 2013 was a complete joke- one stretch I played 5 tournaments and had 7 figure scores in 3 and 6 figure scores in the other 2. I'd be interested if there was a crystal ball to see what player's edges were like in various tournaments they entered. I'm curious if I was really on top of the game or maybe I just ran even hotter than Colman/Fedor during their big runs and I was just that much worse than elite players that my lack of talent meant an epic run had a much lower upper bound.
During the mid-later part of this stretch I developed an anxiety or even a fear that maybe poker will be all I'll ever be able to do. This probably sounds stupid but I think many seasoned pros have this internal struggle- our world is so different from the real world, some of our skills/traits are truly remarkable but others may be detrimental in most work environments. Ultimately I feel many poker players feel a bit "trapped" where they know that poker is fun, cushy and they're good at it but deep down they fear branching out. If nothing else I hope that this blog post helps other poker players realize the versatility of their skillset.
2016-now Branching Out
I became involved with the business PokerShares. It is a very exciting product which could help poker fans get closer to the action and give players the opportunity to play for the appropriate stakes for them. I had always been very mathematical, loved stats and always thought plenty about ROIS/tiers of players etc and thought and this was an exciting opportunity to be involved with the flip side of the poker industry. About 2 years ago I had to make a tough decision on how much effort to put into playing/improving and how much to spend on the business.
2016 I played less than most years and 2017 I played only ~20 times. Each time I played in 2017 I had an absolute blast and it felt the way poker did in 2011 after taking a year off- novel, unfamiliar, thrilling, rewarding and its been a strong reminder of just how much I love this game when my rust is substantial enough that many routine situations feel challenging again.
Getting involved on the business end was very different- poker is so much about depth of knowledge and spending countless hours to make A+ decisions rather than A- decisions on something you are an expert on. On the business end breadth of knowledge becomes much more important- knowing how to quickly and routinely make a lot of B- decisions on a lot of different topics while ensuring you make as few F decisions as possible.
The objective choices, well thought-out reasoning, quick decision making, risk managing and assessing human motives and psychology in poker all transition very well to countless opportunities you may want to pursue. Just a couple short years ago I feared that I'd never be able to do anything but play poker and now I very much feel as if every challenge is just a series of problems to solve and much like poker I just need to be better than my opponents.
Beyond PokerShares I've come across many other opportunities the last couple years- I became heavily interested in the crypto space, I built a super high roller backing group and am actually more involved in longing than shorting in big tournaments, and I have gotten involved with several other businesses as a result of my network seeing me as someone who has expanded beyond poker and someone they could reach out to for advice/encouragement/investment.
10 Years Later
I still have a long way to go but I'm proud of how I've grown over the last decade. I've met amazing people, achieved a great deal of success in this field and learnt a lot about myself along the way. I hope other poker players can look at my thoughts and potentially take the leap of faith to pursue something they've long been considering doing. I'll always continue to play in major events when I have the time for it and will always do my best to try to hold my own against the newer crops of younger, smarter, harder-working pros.
Thanks to everyone who has supported me, helped me earn, competed with me and encouraged me to achieve my potential throughout my time in this game.
Mike