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Regarding MoF & future
I am going to be stepping down from Mid or Feed and will focus on myself and relax my mind for a while. There are multiple reasons as to why I came to this decision, and I will explain a few of them.
We started out really well, the environment of the team was great, everyone was hyped to play, had a good mood and enjoyed playing, but things changed over time. This is where most things started, apart from some smaller problems. The atmosphere turned 180, most of us including myself weren't that happy and hyped to play any more, and the overall attitude just got worse from all of us.
Long story short, my faith and a little bit of motivation, at least towards this team, has been lost in the process for a multitude of reasons. I've felt for a while that I put in more work than others and after putting in tons of effort and time, I didn't see too many results coming from it. I've also felt a disconnection and a mistrust between team mates. Overtime, all of this, especially lately, has made me very frustrated and upset, this is not the person I am. I think that this is necessary for me to try and fix this mindset and general feeling.
A few days ago, I insisted on having a conversation where I voiced all my issues at the time, motivational, behaviour, and also being uncertain if we're good enough at our respective roles. After a long talk it seemed that I wasn't the only one feeling this way, at least concerning some points, mainly belief & motivation. There were certain things that dragged each other down and it became a vicious cycle. In the end I decided that this isn't worth perusing as damage had already been done beyond the point of repair.
I intend to focus on myself and freshen my mind. I'll be streaming more and just looking after and caring for myself. I strongly believe that it will be beneficial for me to have some time where I don't have to care about things beyond myself. Free my mind and relax. I will still be looking to play competitive, whether it be in a few weeks or 2-3 months.
I will still strongly consider any options that are presented to me. I'm personally more motivated than ever to make it and prove my worthiness.
Don't see this the wrong way. I didn't lose motivation to win, I lost motivation and faith within this team. In my mind, this is what I need to do to get better and move on, stronger than before.
I wish all the best to my team mates.
I'm not saying anything here to draw attention to something specific or blame anyone for anything. This is what I think is best for me and simply the way I see it and what I think.